Reply To: How do I make myself SHUT UP?

[Ginniebean]

In general conversation people talk for about 30 seconds and then the other person responds.  I’ve come to realise that the tips for this problem pretty much suck.  Count to ten and I’ve distracted myself to the point of drawing a blank, slow down.. Same deal.

 

If the discussion is emotionally charged then it’s a matter of “lose all hope ye who enter” kinda deal because I can’t restrain myself.

 

What I think is important is to self advocate. If it’s an issue in your personal life then you can put forth that you are willing to work within reason to not interrupt. 30 second rule.  If someone is ranting on for minutes and switching from this subject to that, it’s not acceptable to berate for interruptions. It’s okay to set boundaries like this. It’s okay to have expectations of accommodations. Far too often we here how we need to follow arbitrary rules even when we’ve proven over and over that we can’t.

 

 

Find your baseline length of being able to listen without interruption and then it’s time for some boundary settings.  After nearly 50 years of having people feel they have a right to be morally indignant because I’ve interrupted I’m just done with it. I set my boundaries, I let people know my capabilities and how far they extend.  It works. When people feel they have a right to be hostile and angry that will be their response if you point out that you are not willing to be set up for failure anymore they will move over and you get to sit at the big people table with dignity intact.

 

With colleagues, “If I may interject….” Is a good prefix for an I can’t stop myself mokent”. If someone takes you aside to discuss this as a problem don’t disclose that usually leads to hell,  but you can say. You know, it’s part. Of my personality, I have struggled with this a long time with little success, do you have any suggestions? People will usually rise to the occasion.

 

That’s my two cents.

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