Reply To: Frustated with having ADD

[Faequine]

Wow, bugs…. Coolest ones i get to see are (if they are there) the ones i see at the ERAS show and sale, sometimes we get to see rare peeks at the illegal ones people have permits to keep.

It’s been rough today, had a rough evening where He kept us up till 1 or 2 am. Apparently he really really needs needs his MJ just to stand being around me or else i just piss him off constantly. Blah.

I don’t know what to do when trying to combat something. I’ve somewhat tried the one at a time approach. Gets blown up because something else happens and ruins everything, there is now patience from him. I try reading, but am unable to apply things mentioned because i want to finish the book to be able to get a picture of everything they talk about and that’s taking too long. I also severely suck in conflicting situations and can never do or respond to anything correctly.

I think the more that happens, the more i realize we have nothing in common. He pointed out it never used to be that way, that i used to do things that he liked. Like reading, that i rarely do anymore because i am a bad judge of when it is a good time to do so. Same with drawing. I still have my fish and reptiles but he hates them. I zone out too much on them, just like the other things.

I have found i thrive with structure and routine, and i brought up the idea of applying the same strategy for at home. He has totally not thrilled about it, said i’d be even more like the old lady that i act like. Apparently I’m 80 not 26 ish.

He keeps bringing up how i need to get back on the meds and go to counselling. Completely ignoring how much $ would be involved. Apparently eliminating pizza and stuff is going to come up with the hundreds we would need. I know it’s not possible, it be maybe 80 bucks. But when it comes to eliminating those kinds of expenses, i have given up so much and he gives up almost nothing. So my response to him last night was, find the money yourself, because i can’t. I get maybe 50 bucks for my Tea, and occasional munchies (cheezies or chips) and all the pet expenses, he gets 250-300 for MJ, smokes and beer, because he needs it. Oh and his pop 1-2 or more a day and 2 or more chocolate bars a day. And if he finds any cash that’s what he spends it on. Its unfair.

I apparently don’t do anything for my ADD, but i’ve given up so much because of it, and he doesn’t even realize, or just says it’s all my fault because if i was normal i could still do most things. I somewhat feel trapped by both him and my ADD.

Ugh. I think there’s something i was supposed to google, pretty sure i made sure to make a note about it. Time to get on it.

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