The Can Opener Experience.

[Hayes212]

OK. This forum was the 1st place I thought of after this happened. I recently had a guest over and she helped me with dinner. Well tonite I’m cooking a late dinner. Found a can of flavoured rice as a side dish and I got the rest going.

While the meat and everything else was cooking I made my attempt to open the can. For reasons unknown at the time. I couldn’t get the can opener to grip the can. I tried several times and the can wasn’t looking so much like a can.

I proceeded to investigate my can opener and decided I needed to fix it right away to get at the rice for my side dish. Remember I’m trying to make a side dish. I burnt my pork chops on one side while I looked online for some kind of reference on repairing a can opener. Even a picture to how one is assembled. After 45 minutes and my pork chops are now on a dish getting cold without that side dish I decided to just eat my chops while their still somewhat warm.

I returned my dish into the kitchen when the mangled can of rice once again caught my eye. That’s when I picked it up and realized the can was upside down…

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[Anonymous]

Woohoo! Glad I’m not the only one that has done something like that. Actually in my case it involved the fact that I stuck a bottle of Pepsi in the freezer to get it cold then when I took it out, I couldn’t get the cap off. I Stabbed the top of the bottle with a sharp knife and caused a Pepsi explosions all over the kitchen

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[Anonymous]

Reminds me of a saying, “I never make stupid mistakes…only very, very clever ones.”

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[munchkin]

Cleverest mistake I made: Ran myself over with my own car! How is this possible? Had a starter problem, wired it so I could manually touch a wire to another wire under the hood to start the car (with help from a well meaning relative). Problem is, I would accidentally leave the car in gear when I turned it off!!! The first time it happened, I left it in reverse – when I went to turn the car on (standing in front of the car with the hood up) it started driving away from me, and through some miracle, there were no cars directly in its path and I caught up with it, jumped in, and braked. Second time – left it in drive – turned the car on (standing in front of the hood) got knocked down and pinned against the cement block at the front of the parking spot. By some miracle (low powered compact car) I managed to wriggle out, the car didn’t jump the block, and I could jump in and put it into park. Final result, I’m not dead 😆 prob’ly should be though… Really, though – takes talent to almost kill yourself that way – gotta give me credit for that 😆

Don’t worry – I destroyed the car in an accident a short time later – survived that too.

By the way – driving on Concerta is like… amazing! Sooooo safe! I had no idea driving could be so easy – who woulda thunk it???

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[kc5jck]

My best one was getting six stiches after hitting myself between the eyes with a pick ax.

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[munchkin]

Ohhh! Ow!

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[memzak]

I tried to separate a plug from an extension cord with a pair of scissors while the extension cord was still plugged in. Talk about sparks! Fortunately the scissors had a plastic handle so I was not electrocuted but now there is a chip in the blade of the scissors.

Then there was the time I was trying to cut off the yarn I had used to make a ring fit and ended up cutting my finger open to the bone.

I also have a dent in the middle of my forehead from catching it on the corner of the door of my car.

I got a concussion once in high school and was alone when it happened and I, to this day, still don’t know how I did it.

Just talented I guess.

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[Stash]

Oh memzak! I too have a little scar right between the eyes from opening a car door into my head! My health card picture was classic – bandaid on forehead!

Also once politely moved my car back out of a crosswalk so that a pedestrian could go by – of course the driver of the car that had pulled up behind me wasn’t as appreciative! Thankfully no damage, except to my pride.

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[Anonymous]

I decided to make a delicious salad that I had been served several times when out eating. I found the recipe for it on a website and it was highly-rated by any who had made it. 5 star rating!!

I bought fresh organic produce and fruit so that it would be a dish to remember by all who ate it. Unfortunately, when making the dressing, I made a slight boo-boo. I accidently grabbed the cayenne pepper from my spice cabinet instead of the paprika and of course, added it liberally. The sole purpose of the paprika was to add a bit of colour to the dressing. Oh yeah. The cayenne added a lot more than that!

My family still likes to remind me of that one. Fortunately for me, my guests were much kinder! I double check those particular spices every time I use them now. The fabulous strawberries in the salad were totally unnoticed.

😳

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[Robbo]

These are just funny

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[Patte Rosebank]

When I was about 8, my grandfather took me to Ontario Place (a waterfront attraction, in Toronto).

While there, I was riding on a roundabout that turned by means of enormous handles that you pumped (sort of like one of those old railroad hand-cars).  A big kid jumped on, started pumping…and my buck teeth got in the way of the handle.

CRACK!  The lower half of my two front teeth (the PERMANENT ones, which I’d only had for about a year) broke off.

When my grandfather phoned my mom to tell her the bad news, she was in the middle of baking orange loaf cakes.  She was utterly distraught to hear what had happened, but she had to finish her baking, while she waited for Grandpa to bring me home, so she could see the damage for herself.

Running on auto-pilot, she finished the batter, and put the 4 cakes into the oven to bake.

That night, she gave dad a slice of one of the cakes, and the look on his face said that something was very wrong.  Nervously, Mom took a bite of the slice…and discovered that, in her confusion, she had put in 3 cups of SALT, instead of 3 cups of SUGAR.

Salt is still available in paper packages, just like sugar is.  And that’s how Mom always used to buy salt.  But, never again, since that day!

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[sar316]

As I was cutting some supper prep when my father glances over and tells me to not cut myself. I’m in university, living on my own and using perfect slicing technique. Nanoseconds after rolling my eyes I inflict yet another cut to my thumb.

I have countless cuts on my left thumb between my nail and knuckle. I let inattention in for a second and there will be another scar (or ADHD tattoo as I prefer). I give it another year, a few good distractions and a few missed meds and I should have my sleeves completed!

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[blackdog]

I’m not too bad with knives now, if I’m careful. But every time I use the grater a little grated finger gets added to the recipe.

One time when I was working as a cashier a bottle of Coke fell off the counter and exploded. And I stood there watching the Coke shoot 6 feet in the air thinking about how cool it looked, like a water fountain. By the time I thought to pick the bottle up and toss it in the trash can there was Coke all over the counter, the floor, the cash register and me.

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[Author]

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