The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Is It Just Me? › No Friends › Re: No Friends
I myself feel the same way about fiends and was recently diagnosed with adult add at age 45.
If not for my wife’s good social skills I wouldn’t have much in the way of friends.
I’m pretty sure it is probably related to ADD – but who knows. My father had instilled a sense in me that you can’t really trust anyone and in the end they will screw you over. I have consciously or subconsciously inherited that belief system
ALthough I long for more closer friends relationships, they allude me as well. I get along pretty well in a social situation, can gp through the small talk and fairly charming when it is approproiate to be – but don’t really have a close friend I would really feel comnfortable with asking to go to a game or out for a drink.
I think it probaly stems from the innate low self esteem related to ADD. Perhaps that is part of it ion your situation as well. I think sometimes people can sense the self esteem issue and maybe recognize it for what it is or could misconstrue it as conceit or some other faux paux.
On the other hand, I’m not the kind of a guy that wants to be in a bowling league or on a softball team… I would rather spend the time with my kids, Part of the problem for me and maybe some ADD’ers is that we might takepotential friendship opportunities to seriously. Some times someone who can’t make a dinner invitatiion or play date is just that – they have a conflict – I think we can all get into trouble when we try to read peoples mionds when an interactioin falls through.
My advice if there is any – lighten up – I say this to myself as well. Have faith that things will eventually click and when they don’t click, it may be for a good reason and you might have just didged a bullet.
We recently invited some of my wife’s friends and their kids over for a dinner for a special occaison. The other couples were people I was interested in getting to know more. If we didn’t invite thrm for the “Birthday” for the other couple – I am not sure if they would have accepted an invitation to dinner on theri own. The end result , we got the opportun ity to know one another, the kids had a blast and we recently recived an inviraion to a party at one theire houses.
Maybe try to have an event as a nice gesture for a friend (birthday, anniversday, moving) and invite a few couples that you normally would not approach, but would like to know better. Most likely they will say yes to the invite beacsuie of your common friend and you will all geta chance to no one another and their kids will get a chnace to know yours
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