I was very shy when I was young. I mostly stayed away from people, very few friends. Old tech before the internet, I had a modem and connected to BBS’s to post and chat live. I developed more social skills. In community college, I developed even more social skill. In the 90’s, I got a modern computer with internet.
Today, my social skills are highly refined though internet and in-person. However, my ability to multi-task non-verbal signals and verbal speech is broken. I can do one or the other, but not both at the same time. If I am listening to what they say, i’m not reading non-verbals. If I am reading non-verbals, I’m not listening to what they say.
Some know how to read non-verbals from the start. I had to learn how to read non-verbal signals(from “normal” people). I have to stop and think ‘what does that expression mean?’. Take a few moments for my brain library to look it up. Then continue where I left off. Needless to say, it takes a large amount of effort to process. So, my brain gets tired quickly from “normal” people socializing.
I can be a social butterfly for a while, but soon I’m back to being a wall-flower. I need long periods to recover from being around “normal” people. The internet is great, no non-verbals to deal with it. Thank you for emoticons! 