Re: ADD friendly jobs

[Robbo]

Cooking in a fancy (4 star) restaurant was one of my favorite jobs, I became sues chef so being in charge when the chef wasn’t there made a difference in my ability to focus, freedom from being bossed around allowed me to access my full potential. I always had good relationships with the chefs. I worked my butt of because I was very passionate about making beautiful food. I got respect from these chefs because they could see how important it was to me for every plate to go out perfect. It broke my heart when I couldn’t even get back in doing prep work in the same restaurant after my accident. I was okay though. Getting forced to go to AA meetings about 9 years prior to the accident gave me the key tools I needed to cope. My sense of humor was priceless, I helped a lot of newly disabled folks because so many of them were truly worse off than me. The difference between a quadriplegic and a para cannot be calculated. It wasn’t until months/years later that I finally got into any part of the grief. I have to admit, the chronic pain was a powerful distraction. Medical marijuana, learning windows 95, and making my first web site was grace. I played Warcraft two until the sun came up endlessly. Controlling huge armies helped me cope. Writing endlessly about my experience at the Stanford pain clinic with the Intrathecal Pump study also helped me to feel like my life wasn’t being wasted. That all came apart eventually. Later fighting to keep my leg after the 7th doctors opinion was to amputate from my hip down also increased my faith in miracles. While talking to a doctor after I finally got healthy with my leg still attached, I told her “it doesn’t even matter if there is a God, what matters is my faith” I remember her tears, and seeing her really believe in miracles. Even before the last of the surgeries, I had 2 infectious disease specialists still trying to convince me to let them cut off my leg… They thought I was crazy, but I knew my patient rights by then, and knew miracles happen when we have faith.

What’s the point?. we can still do anything we choose. Simple faith in our own spirituality makes a difference. It’s a simple matter of what price we’re willing to pay. In some cases the price is too high. A friend of mine died months before this experience because he wouldn’t let them amputate his leg. But he was drinking. Had no faith. I never tried to help him find spirituality, just tried to get him to an AA meeting.

When we are struggling, and we’re in pain. Emotional, or physical, we’re growing. I think that might be why we’re really here. To grow, not to be successful as this world defines it. Just as our heart tells us. I’m sure ODD was a factor in all of my struggles. undiagnosed ADD results in oppositional defiant disorder. When we’re proven right in the end, just like a woman with a brand new baby in her arms, we forget the labor pains. Are women truly better off having the choice to never experience that pain?. Who answers that question?. I’m glad women have the choice, that’s for sure. It’s another example of how our attitude changes after our struggles.

We all have limitations. But determination is amazing stuff, we don’t have to accept limitations. I loved the chaos of dinner or lunch rush. I remember feeding more than 100 folks at LUNCH one day at Carniglia’s on the Santa Cruz warf, on my own with only a salad and desert guy helping me. Extremely gourmet Italian food. I remember the servers talking to me like I was some kind of hero that day. In Santa Cruz Ca, the cooks get tipped out from the servers, I got a bundle that day but all I cared about was checking the buss tubs to see how empty the plates were when they got back to the kitchen. That’s the true marker of how good the food was. That’s when I felt good about it, real success. A normal day was half that volume of food, with more help.

I’m in the midst of more awfully painful struggles due to being paralyzed for 15+ years tonight. The limitations of our health care system is making me choose between two horribly difficult hard places. I’ve already made the choice, I just have to commit to even more “high maintenance” self care. But in return I get to keep my freedom and avoid yet another surgery. Forgetting to take a dang leek has caused this current problem, I’m in agonizing pain, no medication can help. I could smoke weed and get temporary relief, but the mental/emotional/spiritual cost is too high. I can handle more pain now than I ever thought possible.

If you don’t have good insurance for severe disability/accident dismemberment etc. Get some!. The cost of my care makes a lot of taxpayers show their darkest passive aggressive anger to complete strangers. I’ve met canadian disabled folks that have experienced the worst of that type of anger. In socialist countries disabled people get much better medical care. Some taxpayers think it’s a crime. Here in America we don’t get the same level of care. Some get much less than I do. But there are still people who have no idea about the reality of what disabled people have to tolerate. They just hate… It’s their own ignorance causing that hate. Not the taxes.

I applied to work in the kitchen I had been working at before the accident, but as a prep cook during the 1st year after my accident. I could have forced them to hire me with labor laws and a simple letter from my lawyer. But I just let it go, I didn’t really like my new boss there anyway, the feeling was mutual. Learning to sit all the time nearly killed me, but after 15+ years I can do it no problem. The point is we adapt, we can and do have choices. We can’t let an ADHD diagnosis limit our dreams. It’s a matter of acceptance. An ADHD diagnosis is a lot like getting hit by a truck from behind at a red light, sitting on a motorcycle, ready to pop a wheelie. It was friday the 13th, Sept. 96. I’m still not superstitious. Friday the 13th does freak me out a little to this day. To be honest. I probably would have gone slowly crazy doing prep work when I really wanted to be in the action packed line, synchronizing with the rest of the cooks. A big part of me is still struggling with accepting the limitations of ADD, maybe the accident helped prepare me for the ADHD diagnosis. It seems to make sense now. My whole life has been about growing. It could still get even more difficult. How much choice do we really have over our future?

We can do any dang job, it’s a matter of being willing to know how difficult it can be and making a commitment to fight our way through that difficulty.

I get “enough” money from the government. The best job choice for me now is to be a volunteer, help people one at a time, school makes zero sense to me, life is the best school for me now. Thanks for letting me ramble once again gang. Maybe all this sharing will encourage some of you guys to look at your life a little differently. Know you’re capable of much more than the experts think. Just like it says in the ADD and Loving it?! DVD, “we’re just in the toddler-hood of understanding ADD/ADHD”, that’s not much understanding. More understanding is all over this site, and coming out in Aug. In those 4 new projects Rick n friends made for us. I’ll be pissed if they’re not for sale here, as soon as they start offering them on PBS stations all over the USA. I don’t know why I’m afraid of that happening. Seems sorta dumb, huh?.

All struggle makes us stronger. Maybe that’s the real “gift” of ADHD. We grow!. The more difficult path is the better path. JMHO.

There is no box for us to “think outside of” We define our limitations or lack of limitations.

Bruce Lee says “My only limitation, no limitations ” (not an exact quote, google it) According to his wife, this means he did not allow himself any limitations, that was his only limitation. My first experience with spirituality was the zen type meditation many martial artists do. Meditation is still my best spiritual exercise. Now it makes me closer to the God all my strength comes from. It’s a good kind of difficult.

It’s a simple matter of being willing to work at any chosen goal. I choose the freedom to have more freedom from struggle. For now that is. Later, the sky is not even the limit. This rambling post will make sense to someone. Help someone… someday. File it in your long term goal oriented memory. For today, just remember to meditate and let it make you stronger. Able to choose any job. Absolute freedom of your spirit.

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