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July 13, 2012 at 4:13 am #100689
AnonymousInactiveJuly 13, 2012 at 4:13 amPost count: 7I am 62 yrs and have been a housekeeper for 25 yrs at a hospital. From the very beginning their concern was that I take to long to
do the work. Would be nice if I could stay focused on what I’m doing and know how to prioritize which is always on my review…
needs improvement with prioritizing. I want to move faster and it just doesnt happen. Last time talking to my supervisers about
not having enough time to do what is expected of me, their comment was you don’t have time to be a perfectionist. OK!!!!!!
Hopefully they wont fire me before I get to retire. Love helping people so being on the go everyday (family says I’m never home….exactly. Staying home with all my unfinished projects and piles everywhere is enough to stress me out. New to this
websit but really am looking forward to the support and tips with what works for those of you who are different too. Thanks in advance.
REPORT ABUSEJuly 13, 2012 at 8:26 am #100690Cooking in a fancy (4 star) restaurant was one of my favorite jobs, I became sues chef so being in charge when the chef wasn’t there made a difference in my ability to focus, freedom from being bossed around allowed me to access my full potential. I always had good relationships with the chefs. I worked my butt of because I was very passionate about making beautiful food. I got respect from these chefs because they could see how important it was to me for every plate to go out perfect. It broke my heart when I couldn’t even get back in doing prep work in the same restaurant after my accident. I was okay though. Getting forced to go to AA meetings about 9 years prior to the accident gave me the key tools I needed to cope. My sense of humor was priceless, I helped a lot of newly disabled folks because so many of them were truly worse off than me. The difference between a quadriplegic and a para cannot be calculated. It wasn’t until months/years later that I finally got into any part of the grief. I have to admit, the chronic pain was a powerful distraction. Medical marijuana, learning windows 95, and making my first web site was grace. I played Warcraft two until the sun came up endlessly. Controlling huge armies helped me cope. Writing endlessly about my experience at the Stanford pain clinic with the Intrathecal Pump study also helped me to feel like my life wasn’t being wasted. That all came apart eventually. Later fighting to keep my leg after the 7th doctors opinion was to amputate from my hip down also increased my faith in miracles. While talking to a doctor after I finally got healthy with my leg still attached, I told her “it doesn’t even matter if there is a God, what matters is my faith” I remember her tears, and seeing her really believe in miracles. Even before the last of the surgeries, I had 2 infectious disease specialists still trying to convince me to let them cut off my leg… They thought I was crazy, but I knew my patient rights by then, and knew miracles happen when we have faith.
What’s the point?. we can still do anything we choose. Simple faith in our own spirituality makes a difference. It’s a simple matter of what price we’re willing to pay. In some cases the price is too high. A friend of mine died months before this experience because he wouldn’t let them amputate his leg. But he was drinking. Had no faith. I never tried to help him find spirituality, just tried to get him to an AA meeting.
When we are struggling, and we’re in pain. Emotional, or physical, we’re growing. I think that might be why we’re really here. To grow, not to be successful as this world defines it. Just as our heart tells us. I’m sure ODD was a factor in all of my struggles. undiagnosed ADD results in oppositional defiant disorder. When we’re proven right in the end, just like a woman with a brand new baby in her arms, we forget the labor pains. Are women truly better off having the choice to never experience that pain?. Who answers that question?. I’m glad women have the choice, that’s for sure. It’s another example of how our attitude changes after our struggles.
We all have limitations. But determination is amazing stuff, we don’t have to accept limitations. I loved the chaos of dinner or lunch rush. I remember feeding more than 100 folks at LUNCH one day at Carniglia’s on the Santa Cruz warf, on my own with only a salad and desert guy helping me. Extremely gourmet Italian food. I remember the servers talking to me like I was some kind of hero that day. In Santa Cruz Ca, the cooks get tipped out from the servers, I got a bundle that day but all I cared about was checking the buss tubs to see how empty the plates were when they got back to the kitchen. That’s the true marker of how good the food was. That’s when I felt good about it, real success. A normal day was half that volume of food, with more help.
I’m in the midst of more awfully painful struggles due to being paralyzed for 15+ years tonight. The limitations of our health care system is making me choose between two horribly difficult hard places. I’ve already made the choice, I just have to commit to even more “high maintenance” self care. But in return I get to keep my freedom and avoid yet another surgery. Forgetting to take a dang leek has caused this current problem, I’m in agonizing pain, no medication can help. I could smoke weed and get temporary relief, but the mental/emotional/spiritual cost is too high. I can handle more pain now than I ever thought possible.
If you don’t have good insurance for severe disability/accident dismemberment etc. Get some!. The cost of my care makes a lot of taxpayers show their darkest passive aggressive anger to complete strangers. I’ve met canadian disabled folks that have experienced the worst of that type of anger. In socialist countries disabled people get much better medical care. Some taxpayers think it’s a crime. Here in America we don’t get the same level of care. Some get much less than I do. But there are still people who have no idea about the reality of what disabled people have to tolerate. They just hate… It’s their own ignorance causing that hate. Not the taxes.
I applied to work in the kitchen I had been working at before the accident, but as a prep cook during the 1st year after my accident. I could have forced them to hire me with labor laws and a simple letter from my lawyer. But I just let it go, I didn’t really like my new boss there anyway, the feeling was mutual. Learning to sit all the time nearly killed me, but after 15+ years I can do it no problem. The point is we adapt, we can and do have choices. We can’t let an ADHD diagnosis limit our dreams. It’s a matter of acceptance. An ADHD diagnosis is a lot like getting hit by a truck from behind at a red light, sitting on a motorcycle, ready to pop a wheelie. It was friday the 13th, Sept. 96. I’m still not superstitious. Friday the 13th does freak me out a little to this day. To be honest. I probably would have gone slowly crazy doing prep work when I really wanted to be in the action packed line, synchronizing with the rest of the cooks. A big part of me is still struggling with accepting the limitations of ADD, maybe the accident helped prepare me for the ADHD diagnosis. It seems to make sense now. My whole life has been about growing. It could still get even more difficult. How much choice do we really have over our future?
We can do any dang job, it’s a matter of being willing to know how difficult it can be and making a commitment to fight our way through that difficulty.
I get “enough” money from the government. The best job choice for me now is to be a volunteer, help people one at a time, school makes zero sense to me, life is the best school for me now. Thanks for letting me ramble once again gang. Maybe all this sharing will encourage some of you guys to look at your life a little differently. Know you’re capable of much more than the experts think. Just like it says in the ADD and Loving it?! DVD, “we’re just in the toddler-hood of understanding ADD/ADHD”, that’s not much understanding. More understanding is all over this site, and coming out in Aug. In those 4 new projects Rick n friends made for us. I’ll be pissed if they’re not for sale here, as soon as they start offering them on PBS stations all over the USA. I don’t know why I’m afraid of that happening. Seems sorta dumb, huh?.
All struggle makes us stronger. Maybe that’s the real “gift” of ADHD. We grow!. The more difficult path is the better path. JMHO.
There is no box for us to “think outside of” We define our limitations or lack of limitations.
Bruce Lee says “My only limitation, no limitations ” (not an exact quote, google it) According to his wife, this means he did not allow himself any limitations, that was his only limitation. My first experience with spirituality was the zen type meditation many martial artists do. Meditation is still my best spiritual exercise. Now it makes me closer to the God all my strength comes from. It’s a good kind of difficult.
It’s a simple matter of being willing to work at any chosen goal. I choose the freedom to have more freedom from struggle. For now that is. Later, the sky is not even the limit. This rambling post will make sense to someone. Help someone… someday. File it in your long term goal oriented memory. For today, just remember to meditate and let it make you stronger. Able to choose any job. Absolute freedom of your spirit.
REPORT ABUSEJuly 14, 2012 at 7:28 pm #100691
AnonymousInactiveJuly 14, 2012 at 7:28 pmPost count: 14413For ADD friendly occupations, I’ve noticed two characteristics: something active, and something where the task is right in front of your face (something you have to respond immediately to).
Putting that in terms of occupations:
Health care. You respond to one patient at a time, who is in front of you.
Teaching. Much the same. Your students are in front of you, and you have to respond to them.
Photography. ADD people can be very visual. In photography, you see stimuli through the viewfinder, and you respond to it by taking the photo, or finding a better one. One photo at a time.
Sales
Sugargremlin spoke about being very intelligent, and yet at the same time people often think he/she is “spaced out.” I’m the same way, and being thought of as “spaced out” or stupid is very painful for me.
I finally figured out WHY I sometimes appear stupid. When confronted with a new situation, I simultaneously evaluate all the data coming in, all the stimuli. I typically take in more data than other people, and it takes me longer therefore to reach a conclusion. I feel disoriented, even confused, while I am in this state. But eventually, everything clicks into place, and I see the problem and solution very clearly. I understand it BETTER than anyone else. Sometimes my solutions are very creative, out of the box.
Other people can reach a conclusion faster, though it may not be as good a solution, because they have a sequential or linear approach. 1, 2, 3… Sort of a standard approach. It’s faster, but often not as good. With simple problems, fast and good may be adequate. But for harder problems, my approach is definitely the better one, although people may not realize its advantages.
So, I have learned to live with the confusion, and have faith that a solution will emerge. For example, I am a wedding photographer. When I get into a new situation for a photo, it takes me a few seconds or minutes to evaluate it. I have to consider a multitude of factors all at once: lighting, composition, technical settings, the message, emotional content, and practical things. People may be clamoring for an answer. “Should I stand here?” “How do you want us to arrange ourselves?” I just say: “First things first. Give me a moment to decide where the best place is for the photo. Then we can decide those other questions.”
Now that I’ve just retired, I’ve written a mystery novel, “Prey for Zion.” It’s available as a Kindle Book via Amazon, under my pen name, E.D. MacDavey. The hero, Max, has a similar creative approach to problem solving–and he solves the mystery that involves explosive Mormon secrets, and a race for high office by a politician like Mitt Romney.
REPORT ABUSEJuly 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm #100692I had a great time in photography for a few years. There is one huge stumbling block for the ordinary workaday photographer with ADD though – record keeping. Whether it’s recording exactly what you did to get that shot (because you won’t remember exactly what you did next time), or filing all the negs/transparencies (digital images these days). This has to be a self imposed discipline and is easily subject to procrastination. It may be different if you have learned to deal with these things, but at the time I had no clue about ADD.
REPORT ABUSEJuly 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm #100693Robbo,I am always moved and inspired by your open and transparent view you leave with us as you write. I then look at all he accidents I been in and always walked away just to add to the pain I already had. I become ashamed that I am unhappy with my health and luck beyond belief . I am told that I am not very bright and have anger management issues some of witch might be true. I still have a lot to be thankul for.
Roboo I wish we could start a radio station and have its focus on helping people with disability. dare to dream! I love talking to and trying to help people. my heart is in the right place, but for a guy with a grade eight education and being classified as being slow. I have a fast thinking mind at times, especially when I am not feeling threaten . but in all honesty all I am doing is dreaming out loud. with no understanding of how to do any of this. I have run 4 different company’s with no success.but I stil read you words and would love to tap into that creative and wise soul that I see in your words. please keep it coming.
REPORT ABUSEJanuary 21, 2013 at 11:36 pm #118590I currently work as a busser at a restaurant. I enjoy the people I work with and
what I do. My old boss was pretty accommodating for my ADD however with my new boss
he is much more open and receptive to what I have to say..not to mention that he too
has ADD..which is very helpful to me to have someone to relate to.I’m also in school and am working my way through the prerequisites for being a Physical Therapy Assistant.My boss has been very flexible with my work and school hours… I hope that some of this is helpful.
REPORT ABUSEJanuary 22, 2013 at 11:46 am #118594That’s the weird thing about an ADHD brain.
A neuro-typical person’s brain is cool & calm in a calm, everyday situation, and is completely overwhelmed & frazzled in a chaotic situation.
But an ADHD brain thrives on stimulation, and is always desperately trying to find it. So, it’s overwhelmed & frazzled in a calm, everyday situation—and is cool, calm, and perfectly in control in a chaotic situation.
This is why you’ll often find people with ADHD working in emergency services, or crowd-control, or professional sports, the service industry, or show business. Any job where you need to think & act quickly, because the situation is constantly changing!
REPORT ABUSEMay 17, 2013 at 4:20 pm #120370For what it’s worth, the only “job” I can say at which I’ve been successful is college. Everything before or since has been short-lived and poorly-ended. I have the mental aptitude to do anything I choose. I’ve been able to talk my way into some very high-paying fields. But invariably, when it comes time to perform, I can’t. For whatever reason, I just can’t get the job done, like I have it in my head but I can’t get things to work.
I’m a mobile app developer. I understand the technology. But when it comes time to actually do the work, it’s like I forget everything I’ve learned. It baffles me to no end. I’ve lost my last three jobs for this exact reason. My self-esteem and self-worth are in the tank. And now I question whether I should continue in this field. To make matters worse, I turn 50 this year and wonder what I can do to salvage some kind of career before I have to retire.
REPORT ABUSEOctober 18, 2013 at 10:38 pm #122562Thanks all for these informative and helpful posts. You all gave me some great knowledge and insight into professions that are good and bad fits ADDers. It also helps me to know that others have similar struggles as me and also to see the many strengths that we are gifted with ( lawyer, success in cooking and being a receptionist, etc.). Two things that I found are weaknesses of mine through the job I am currently working, are on the fly decision making and multi-tasking. I am going to take a career test at a college and hope to see where my strengths lie and get ideas for possibly returning to school. I’m excited to find the right job for me!
REPORT ABUSEOctober 18, 2013 at 11:39 pm #122563Oh, on the fly decisions. Hate those. I freeze up. And multi-tasking…kind of good at it, sometimes. Depends on the tasks and the situation. Like when I’m working strictly front counter I can easily bounce from cash to making orders to helping other staff and keeping everyone organized, especially when it’s busy. But when it comes to doing other jobs, like food prep and cleaning, or office work, I will always forget something and have trouble timing things right and staying on track. And I hate having to go back and forth between the two. Messes me up completely.
Thanks for bringing up this thread @carly. I can’t read it right now because I should have been in bed an hour ago. But it is a good one for everyone who is trying to choose a job that will work for them.
REPORT ABUSEOctober 19, 2013 at 9:32 am #122565The pay isn’t the greatest, but working as a theatre usher can be a great fit.
Just enough structure to keep you on-track, but, because you’re working with large groups of people that change every time, there’s enough variety to keep your interest-driven brain happy.
And, in that situation, anything can happen. When it does, it’s a bonus jolt of excitement, that REALLY brings our brain (and us) to life.
Plus, there’s the social interaction with all those people, whom you won’t see again for a long time, so there’s no pressure to form a deep relationship. Result: small-talk can come remarkably easily.
At least, that’s how it is for me. Four years working at the same company is a record for me. And I still enjoy coming to work…though not quite so much on the days when I have to be in before the sun is up!
REPORT ABUSEOctober 20, 2013 at 6:51 am #122570@Larynxa – your observation about small talk coming easily when speaking to someone you won’t see again is interesting.
I find it easy to talk to people in line, on trains, on planes etc. but less easy to maintain conversations with those I know well. Why?
Maybe there is nothing new to say to those who know me? Maybe I am more cautious with those who know me because there are consequences if I am too open. Maybe I don’t want to open up too much to those in close proximity because I like my own space and if you give too much away, others then feel they have a right to invade your space. It’s easier to not become involved in the first place than to have to back off later.
Maybe people in my life constantly, are just not interested in what I do. Those in the line up that talk are happy to talk or they wouldn’t. Maybe one can only give so much away in those casual interactions, so I can feel satisfied that I have had human interaction but it doesn’t matter what they think of me. Or maybe I can keep up the ‘normal’ act for a short period of time and the transient interaction finishes before my ADHD humour becomes offensive, mad, whatever……
But until quite recently I used to be very open to everyone and chat quite happily about anything, until a few people at work started teasing me. One in particular ‘got to me’ and I realised that being open does not pay, at least at work. This coincided with my ADHD being more noticeable (due to more stress at work and age, so previous strategies no longer worked). I was then diagnosed and the Ritalin helps me to be less outgoing at work.
So maybe chatting to people I don’t know is like a valve being released. Simply, I can be myself and it doesn’t matter. Maybe talking to strangers is a good therapy.
What does this have to do with ADD friendly jobs? Nothing. 🙂
REPORT ABUSEOctober 20, 2013 at 10:19 am #122571In the latest round of interviews we’ve done over the last year a common theme has emerged about work. This is from a half dozen experts at least, many of them having had varied, interesting careers.
‘Do what interests you.’
What interests you?
Several coaches said they have clients who are accountants, the last career you’d think would work for ADHD, but these were people who loved numbers.
When I started out doing comedy, I was doing it at my day job as a demonstrator at a Science Centre, in the evenings at a coffee house called The Nervous Breakdown, and on weekends shooting a show I created called Change Channels at the local community access channel.
“What would you do if you didn’t need money?” Answer that, then figure out how to do that and make money.
“I’d ski all year.” Great. Become an instructor. Work in a ski shop. But you’re a trained lawyer? Fine, specialize in working for ski resorts, ski manufacturers, ski tour operators…
It takes some creativity, but the advantage, for me at least, of being very excited about what I like and dreading what I don’t do well, is that I very quickly know if something is right for me. What I haven’t done as well as I might have is asking for ideas on how to make something work. I try to do it all. Maybe that’s an ADHD thing. Does anyone else have that going on?
REPORT ABUSEOctober 20, 2013 at 3:04 pm #122573@Rick. Oh yes. Asking for input or help to make something work means stopping, thinking, and being articulate about what it is that you are trying to make happen. Executive Function territory. Blahhhhhh. In one way, it’s much, much easier to plug away on it on your own. Until, of course, you hit overwhelm.
I am finally starting to take better advantage of volunteers in the classroom. But in order to do that, I have to be able to articulate clearly what it is that I would like help with, and have physical space etc. all set up. In one way, it’s easier to go without….but then we would lose out on a good opportunity for the children, and community-building.
….so there’s actually a lot of pre-organization involved in asking for help. What about adding that in as a step in a project? Like so:
Step 1. Eureka! What a great idea! I am so brilliant!
Step 2. Decide if this is a go-it-alone type of project or if it’s better to get help.
Step 3. Brainstorm – what do I need to ask, who could possibly help, etc.
and so on…..Though as I type, I am recognizing that Step 3 could add a whole level of complexity and delay, – maybe at first limit it # of questions and # of people.
Also, the social media Hive Mind is a really cool tool for ideas. I am part of a professional group on Facebook, where people often post questions like, “What would you do next? How do you teach X? Have you ever had this happen?” Answers pour in within seconds. It’s a very cool thing to see. TADD is like that, too. Which is why I am hooked 🙂
REPORT ABUSENovember 13, 2013 at 11:07 pm #122841I have learned that it’s not what you do as long as it’s something you like, but the people you work with. Many ADD workers process information and get through the functional part of a job in record time and are very quick to identify …redundancies. This is often where the inability to refrain from pointing them out, clearly becomes a problem. In my case it has resulted in a shorter than desired stay in my field of work. So, if you can, be your own boss.
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