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Re: ADD, rage and cross cultural parenting

Re: ADD, rage and cross cultural parenting2012-09-03T17:16:41+00:00

Post count: 1096

Yes that’s possible of course. But it’s also possible that if you continue to accept his anger and make excuses for him, she will grow up thinking it’s OK to behave like that.

If you are even considering leaving him, then things can’t be good. I am perhaps misunderstanding your posts and I apologise if so. But to me they seem a little contradictory – on the one hand you’re not walking on eggshells and things are OK….on the other hand his anger is sufficiently worrying for you to want to discuss it. It’s a difficult situation…..I understand that. Ask yourself how many times you make excuses for him having an emotionally draining anger outburst and note how mentally draining that is for you and your daughter. If it’s not too bad then that’s good…but…..?

In my opinion (which might be way off base), the problem is not so much the ADHD, but the fact that he doesn’t want to deal with the anger, even though he knows it’s causing emotional hurt. ADHD can cause problems with emotional regulation – but at some point even the most badly affected sufferer needs to take responsibility for their behaviour. That might be simply an acknowledgement of it or agreeing to get professional help. He sounds a proud man whose upbringing might not be compatible with that?