Re: ADHD Journeys and the Unbelievers

[allan wallace]

Ali, It’s great that you’ve managed to navigate your way through some turbulence, and that you’ve found some solace in reading about others in similar predicaments. You’re right in recognising the need to provide your son with guidance, for if he has already developed a distaste for despotic types, he’ll need to learn how to interact with those types in such a way that he doesn’t find himself as a target for their sanctimonious wrath…after many years it has a cumulative effect which manifests itself in such a way that just about every word and deed that one is responsible for merely exacerbates that unwarranted and intrusive scrutiny, or attention….it becomes a bloody perpetual nightmare!

You make some very incisive observations! Fear is something that I’ve been mentally wrestling with recently. Not obvious fears like spiders and bugs etc. but, my deep seated and long held fears. Like failure. Letting people down. Attempting things that had hitherto been regarded as impossible. Understanding myself properly. Being an effective and attentive parent. They are just some of my fears…I love art, but have grieved at my own inability to master something as basic as kindy standard stickmen! I tend to focus too much on what I can’t do, rather on what I can do. I also have a love for music, but I have never attempted to learn how to play an instrument. I’d love to be able to play the piano, flute, or violin, but I’ve never even tried before because I’ve already convinced myself that I’d be crap at it, and would just be setting myself up for even more derision and scorn…I’m just beginning to embark upon that quest to try and make sense of what ADHD is all about, and as daunting as it is I realise that I must not procrastinate about it and persist, even when I don’t feel like doing so, for it’s the only way that I’ll be able to confront whatever it is that lies ahead. The alternative is to just go and lie on some train tracks, or throw myself down in the middle of a busy highway, because after decades of inertia I cannot , and will not, continue to just sit in a state of paralysis wondering why I’m always floundering on the pavement like a fish out of water… 😆

Monkybarb, your story made me very sad too when I read it. It troubled me for quite a bit of the night last night…*sigh*…how lovely would it be to live in an ADHD town where there was no big town clock? No judging of one another? Just a willingness to accept one another exactly as we all are, without the need for pretence, or without the pressure to impress one another? It would be so lovely to be on good terms with everybody, and know exactly where we all stood with one another, and the knowledge that all inevitable ‘fall-outs’ would be eventually amicably resolved devoid of any lingering rancour, or bitterness? *sigh* Our biggest challenge is just living cheek-by-jowl with the turbo-charged robots, no? Oh, and as for the ingrate son? I’d give him a quick kick up the arse and speculate on what would hit who first on the way back to terra firma after being hurled out the front door: the bag on the lad, or the lad on the bag? He needs some home truths imparted…and the sooner the better! 👿

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