Re: ADHD Journeys and the Unbelievers

[Robbo]

Hey great!, another cool thread for my newest “best of ADD” folder. I decided to have some coffee today, so I’m a lil spun, (it only mellows me out if I drink a very small amount. But my apt. is getting so messy I can’t stand it. I don’t take ritalin any more. The wellbutrin is working well enough. I could also get evicted if there’s an inspection. It’s a low income housing complex. So I’m really needing to get my butt busy.

<<“Heh, it’s weird how we do have such a quirky perspective on things, and we’re able to see something funny out of nearly all situations…the sheer absurdity of life alone could amuse me all day every day! It’s amazing that most people are just oblivious to it! “>> LOL!, I found my twin. Hey allan, I think I’ll start calling you my “brother from another mother” sound okay? hehe. I’ll get working on that email I keep sayen I’ll send ya. You’ve got so much to say here it seems like we don’t need to trade email. But It would help me to finally start talking to someone about the truth about how the wheels under me have fried my brain and burned my soul. Denial has more endurance than I do, but it’s wearing down.

MonkeyBarb!

I’m glad to see you back around, you’re another one of the folks in this camp I can relate to the most. So much of what you say reminds me of my own painful family problems. I’m glad you’re involved in the ukalaylee thing and the rest of those social gathering things. That kinda pushes me to work harder at showing up for the groups n stuff I’ve got. Mine’s mostly therapy stuff. Anyways, I’m glad to see that friendly looking long faced doggy again. The look on his face reminds me of how I used to feel when around authority figures of any kind. Kinda like “Oh crap, how did I screw up this time?”

I’m not a musician, but I’ve read about how playing music, and keeping in time with others, even just a metranome can help rewire some parts of our screwy brain hard wiring. Of course ADHD can’t be cured, but lot’s of the other causes that have damaged my executive function can, and are being healed. Not all of our problems are from ADHD, I know that’s the case with me. I’m talking about neuroplasticity. There’s a lot more information available these days about how many of us have had minor forms of brain injury. In my case it was in football, later, mountain biking without a helmet. And of course an accident 16 years ago was a huge bonk on the head. The point is, there’s tons more hope we can make real progress than ever before. I have faith in the science of neuroplasticity, and faith in my own ability to not give up easy.

When it comes to family, not being able to give up has caused me tons and tons of pain and grief. It’s probably cause my parents a lot of extra grief too. I try not to think about them much, but if I did, I’m sure I could find tons of ADHD features in these characters. They are real characters too. I miss them a lot. They’re both still alive, but the relationship finally…. well, I’ve finally just given up. I don’t deserve the mean things my mom says to me.

I better quit before this turns into an therapy session.

Peace

11-5-12

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