Re: Been looking for the positives…

[Tiddler]

Thanks all!

They’re negative for me, toofat, because they really screw things up for me. But I don’t believe they need necessarily be negative for everyone if they are in the right situation with a level of these things that is workable for them. So when I said I hoped they were tickety boo – I mean it sincerely. That’s the place I want to get to.

This post was all about me learning to come to terms with the ADD – I’ve gone from anger to depression to a sort of ‘okay – this is what’s hard – so what am I doing right:?’ state of mind.

I was speaking on the phone with a woman from PALS yesterday, trying to get help for this. I was in a very good mood, positive and hopeful and telling her what I thought I needed and what it’s like for me. At one point I began to cry quietly, simply while describing how every time I apply for a new job I have to send off for a copy birth certificate because I can never find it and that I didn’t apply for disabled student allowance because I kept losing the forms. Otherwise I thought I was really positive and forward looking.

At the end of the conversation, she said she enjoyed talking to me and thanked me for making her cry! I hadn’t realised she was crying (not good on the phone) and I certainly didn’t mean to do that. But I was so glad that I’d touched someone enough to care that much and see the struggle and know how hard I’m working.

And maybe all that is a reflection of where I am at the moment – some sort of limbo where I can see what’s been holding me back, am beginning to see what I’ve been able to do to fight it, and looking for more – ways of working round it, or with it rather than against it perhaps, ways of building on the strengths I’ve already found – something – I don’t know what yet.

Whatever it is, it’s a whole lot better than the rage and despair that have been eating me up since my diagnosis 6 months ago!

REPORT ABUSE