Re: “But you SEEM so smart!”

[Anonymous]

I haven’t been formally diagnosed (yet) with AD(H)D, but I got 9/9 for inattentiveness and 8/9 for restlessness and impulsivity. It’s pretty safe to say that I have ADD. I WAS identified as gifted as a kid, but because I didn’t have the hyperactivity associated with ADHD, my “peculiarities” were chalked up to giftedness. I probably have some kind of LD thrown in there, too, for good measure. I LOATHE math and feel like such an idiot when I can’t do simple calculations in my head. I had no trouble with academics (although sitting through some classes was a chore…ugh…Canadian History and Math…) but my forgetfulness and seeming inability to manage myself, get things done, pay attention to important (boring) details, keep track of time, etc. really became a problem. It came across as laziness or being slovenly. Everyone was (and still is) frustrated with my scattered ways.

I have to wonder if being identified as gifted as a kid was good or bad for my self-esteem. “She has so much potential.” just rings relentlessly in my mind whenever I fail at something. Gifted people tend to be perfectionists and are highly critical of themselves. So when I, as a square peg in round-holed world, tried to do anything, I never seemed to be on the same page as everyone else. And because I was the one who stuck out like a sore thumb and everyone else was “on the same page”, keeping up with the program, and seemed generally in-tune with what was going on, I was pressured to conform to the standard way of doing things. In a world that prizes punctuality, mechanical efficiency and organizational skills, it’s hard to feel good about one’s self as an ADDer without the added tendency to self-criticize.

REPORT ABUSE