"But you SEEM so smart!"

[ellamama]

Nearly 20 yrs. ago, I was in the first year of my master’s degree program in public health at a presigous Ivy League university (I still can’t believe that I was admitted!). While there, I ran into a guy I’d known in kindergarten who was in his first year of medical school. We chatted over dinner in the dining hall about our lives between kindergarten and graduate school while medical and public health students sat by and listened. The guy had spent the year between college and medical school working in Asia. I’d gone straight from college to public health school. One of the women sitting by us (a medical student) interrupted, “Wait a minute, you said you were in kindergarten together.”

“Yes.” We agreed.

“But one of you went straight from college to public health school and the other took a year off.”

“Yes.” We confirmed.

“I don’t get it.” She then said to me, “Did you take time off in college?”

“No.” I said, not believing that this woman was so hung up about this detail. (Hmm…maybe she was ADD, too…)

“I still don’t get it.”

“I repeated 1st grade.” I explained (slightly embarassed).

“Why?”

To myself, I thought OMG! Why can’t this nitwit let it go?!?! Instead I explained, “Well, there were lots going on at home and, in retrospect, it was probably related, too, to the fact that I’ve a learning disability.”

“You’re mentally retarded?” As this point, everybody at the table looked embarassed for her.

“No. I’ve dyscalculia. It’s a learning disability like dyslexia.”

“But you seem so smart!”

“It’s all an illusion.” Fortunately, the folks at the table just laughed at my response. Sadly, I often wonder if it’s true.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Actually, the statistics show that 50% of Gifted Children have ADHD. In a DVD we are working on right now Dr. Jain tells the story of a patient who was diagnosed as retarded as a child. He held down menial jobs, married a ‘low functioning woman’ and had kids. The kids had ADHD. Dr. J met the parents and told the father, “I don’t think you are retarded.” The guy got tested. He had a genius I.Q.. But his ADHD had interfered with him learning anything. He started treatment, and within five years had finished university and gone on to Law School.

As for Dyslexia and Dyscalcula and other disorders, noted ADDer, Sir Richard Branson (Of Virgin Mobile, Virgin Airlines, Virgin Radio, Virgin everything else with the possible exception of Virgin Mary) cannot read and cannot add up a column of figures. He hired people who can.

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[Anonymous]

“Young Tom Edison” was on TV saturday morning. Mickey Rooney movie, circa 1940. I couldn’t stop watching it. I remember watching it when I was very young. Very uplifting to me.

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[Anonymous]

It goes along so well with “She is not meeting her potential” or my favorite “She could do so well if she just applied herself.” To this day if someone says the words “apply yourself” it sends shudders down my spine. Sadly when I was in the school system, it was not designed for the ADHD child. When I watched Patrick in the classroom scene in the documentary it was a real aha moment for me. On the bright side, the school system seems to be valiantly trying to catch up. My ADHD son has gone from failing grade 4 to being on the honor roll in grade 11. It took quite a bit of advocacy on our part, but we were able to get him accommodations to do some tests verbally, do work in a quieter area to allow his hyperfocus to thrive and he got to be evaluated on what he knows vs being evaluated on how well he writes tests. The best part is that this year, he has decided not to use his accommodations so that he will be ready for university. Guess what, he is thriving!!! I am so great full that he has been given this opportunities and that he is being rewarded for magic brain instead of being punished like I was.

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[Anonymous]

I haven’t been formally diagnosed (yet) with AD(H)D, but I got 9/9 for inattentiveness and 8/9 for restlessness and impulsivity. It’s pretty safe to say that I have ADD. I WAS identified as gifted as a kid, but because I didn’t have the hyperactivity associated with ADHD, my “peculiarities” were chalked up to giftedness. I probably have some kind of LD thrown in there, too, for good measure. I LOATHE math and feel like such an idiot when I can’t do simple calculations in my head. I had no trouble with academics (although sitting through some classes was a chore…ugh…Canadian History and Math…) but my forgetfulness and seeming inability to manage myself, get things done, pay attention to important (boring) details, keep track of time, etc. really became a problem. It came across as laziness or being slovenly. Everyone was (and still is) frustrated with my scattered ways.

I have to wonder if being identified as gifted as a kid was good or bad for my self-esteem. “She has so much potential.” just rings relentlessly in my mind whenever I fail at something. Gifted people tend to be perfectionists and are highly critical of themselves. So when I, as a square peg in round-holed world, tried to do anything, I never seemed to be on the same page as everyone else. And because I was the one who stuck out like a sore thumb and everyone else was “on the same page”, keeping up with the program, and seemed generally in-tune with what was going on, I was pressured to conform to the standard way of doing things. In a world that prizes punctuality, mechanical efficiency and organizational skills, it’s hard to feel good about one’s self as an ADDer without the added tendency to self-criticize.

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[Ivriniel]

People are often surprised if I tell them about my ADHD and LD. I’m really good at hiding it

According to the assessment I had done a couple of years ago, my Verbal skills are in the 97 percentile, so I talk an excellent game, and people have no idea how messed up things can be behind that.

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[Anonymous]

“But you are so good at what you do!’

Yes, but it gets tiring riding these damned wild horses day after day after day….

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[Anonymous]

i applied to a competitive catholic college that required interviews as part of the application process… i will never forget the priest that interviewed me putting me on the spot because of my high SAT scores. he asked me to explain the discrepancy between my SATs and my GPA to him because it looked like i was a classic underachiever….

perhaps he should have read my application prior to interviewing me. i had explained in a personal statement that i was diagnosed with ADD half way through my junior year of high school… my GPA was low due to my pre-diagnosis struggles. i never thought a priest would use my good SAT scores against me in an interview setting!

kind of off topic, but i was very open about my ADD while in school, but i have never been open about it in my career. i am open about it with friends too, but i fear it might be used against me if it gets in HR files or something.

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[Anonymous]

I had a THERAPIST once remark to me (after I went broke trying to pay him) “You seem like such a smart girl…why is your life so chaotic?”

It felt like kind of a slap to the face, but it was a sentiment that got repeated throughout my high school years. I was very shy and withdrawn for the most part, with brief instances of absolute shameless brilliance which would make the teachers look at my suspiciously and then they’d get very baffled as I lapsed back into benign mediocrity.

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[Anonymous]

All I can say is…

@eringunsinger, @kimberlia and @Megatron: ditto. amen.

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[Anonymous]

That was a stupid thing to say! I can’t believe someone in the medical profession would say something that stupid. I wonder about the training going on at these institutions. I wish there were more people like Patch Adams in the world. he was a good doctor and a good human being. I love that movie. I actually had a therapist tell me that i should give up persuing my dreams and accept that my adhd and anxiety limit me and stay on disability for the rest of my life. i wanted to break both her knees. i just walked out because she wasn’t worth going to jail for that little cunt! Another therapist i stopped seeing drove me mad because she was always going out on conferences and was shocked when i got pissed about it. right now i’m seeing a student intern at one of those publicly funded places and he’s actually pretty good. he’s a fellow jersey boy and he’s very interested in getting me off the ground and back on the horse and out of miami. yeah i know that me wanting to get out of miami sounds strange but really it’s murder here unless you’re into all that beach stuff and i’m not. i want to go back to jersey and live a fulfilling life. i can relate to that whole thing about people not minding their own business and wanting to but into personal matters that you don’t want to divulge. It’s so annoying!!!

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[Anonymous]

I have an Learning disability that is very similar to dysgraphia and ADD so I use a laptop to write things. I get great marks (but stuff is easy right now, I’m only in grade 10) yet almost daily I get asked if “Are you retarted?”, “Illiterate?” or “can you write?” To which I always have to reply “No, I have a learning disability which affects my writing. I can still write but, it is next to impossible to read, and I write really slowly.” So I know how you feel about nosy people 🙄

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[Scattybird]

peacenotwar – that’s good of you to explain to them. To my shame my response would be not so obliging. On the other hand you could tell them you’re ahead of the game – afterall it’s the computer age.

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[laddybug3]

I told a roommate in college about my LD and ADD, because I was angry at her. Her response was, “But you’re so smart.”

There was a guy friend in the room he suspected something was up, because I would leave class to take an exam or quiz at ODS. He too had a LD, but didn’t have ADD.

My other roommate also had a LD, which is why we seemed to be always together. I had some course with her.

My other roommate, the without a LD or any disability was surprised of my course I was taking. She thought that they would be too hard for me since I had LD and ADD.

This all started with my roommate taking easy courses and not working. I wasn’t working either at the time so that was why I was angry at her for saying something like that.

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[mez]

In 1964, when I was in grade four, the school IQ-tested all of us.

I never heard the end of it after that.

I’m SO sick of people telling me I could do it, I should apply myself, I was lazy, I could be anything if only I’d only TRY.

Being a disappointment to everyone you care about is debilitating and destabilizing.

One of the kids in my class was a classic ADHD kid (in retrospect); most of us thought he was really stupid because he was always doing dumb things and being a nuisance. The school must have known – he was tested too – but somehow wrote him off as just a problem kid.

Imagine our surprise, eight years later, when he came first in the state in maths.

I have attended all four of our ten-year school reunions, and am always amazed at the number of people who still think he’s an idiot. He is a genuine genius, not just “gifted” as I was labelled.

Poor man. I wish I knew last year (last time I spoke to him) what I know now.

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