Re: How do You Handle Complements?

[Anonymous]

Interesting! This got my mind in a whirl before I even read any posts.

This is something I know I am very awkward with. I love the recognition, but I seldom take it at face value. Instead I’m looking for motive, is it sincere, what are they looking for in return, what are they really telling me, or I’m embarrassed because I didn’t think it was a big deal. Rarely is it just a pat on the back, in my paranoid opinion. So why do I feel this way? I’m 41 and spent most of that time thinking I was wrong, being told I was wrong, been shown I was wrong, so when I do something right I’m actually waiting to find out how I screwed up, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

This also got me to learn that being right isn’t as important as listening and asking questions or figuring out why two people see things so different and learn from that instead of deciding they are wrong and dismissing things. So when someone says “Wow that was fantastic, great job!” I can be okay saying “Thank you, I enjoyed doing it.” But I’m thinking, what was fantastic, be specific, what parts were awesome, what parts were crap, do I have to do more, what’s next, will I live up to this standard next time too, do I get a raise now…..Shit I got noticed now I have to be this person. This is a scary thing, living up to you potential.

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