I am so angry, mad, pissed off,depressed, nerves, sleepless, scared, tired. fedup, I have complained so many time about my noise sensitivities and the doctor’s answer was nerve pills. So here I am hooked on those among a handful of other crap. My son was just diagnosed with ADD about 6 months ago and the more I learn about Add I am 1000 percent sure that I have it. This going back to when I was in school and me flipping out, throwing chair, swearing, walking out of class but no call home or if they did I never heard of it. Both my parents were working full time and took zero interest in my schooling. When I went into high school they put me into learning disabilities class ( back then it was call coconut class or retard class, that would never fly these days with political correctness) and I sat there knowing that I could sit the teacher down and teach the lesson better then her/him. Ooooh the imbrassment was unbelieveable some of you might relate. I challenged myself to go to college the fall of 2009 and got mid 80’s in my finale. Was I surprised ….NO. I am very smart I just can not get my crap together. Let me just list a couple of reason why I think I can’t get my crap together.
1) never on time ( I try )
2) organizational problems
3) time management problem
4) missed appointment
5) speaking to loudly
6) overly talkative
7) impulsive shopping
UFO by the 1000’s ( unfinished objects or projects)
9) anger control problems
10) I’m a yeller ( sorry to say and I try so hard not to yell I hate it, I send myself to my room)
11) problem going to sleep and staying asleep
12) always tired
13) not living up to my potential
14) I overwork at my jobs ( When I have one)
15) anxiety
16) depression
17) never meeting my goals
18) compulsive shopping
19) collections
20) difficulties keeping home routines
Then there is the craziness of obsessive behavior. Start needle point and do it for 8 to 10 hours a day for 6 to 8 weeks or sometimes longer . Just went though a spell with the salt dough art . Crafting for hours and hours. I started making jewelry inm 2007 and got stuck in my office for 15 to 18 hours a day. Started doing home parties and was very good at it but got nerves about keep the business organized. Stopped, frozen in my steps. Who does that when they are hitting $500 a party. Me
I have no friends, and I tell myself that I like it that way but is it normal? I do manage to go to church but that is like pulling a train behind me.(late most of the time) It does put gas in my tank and helps to keep me grounded. The love of my God has kept me alive to this day.
Thanks for letting me unload. I am going in on the 19th of Jan. to finally be diagnosed. Will share with you all soon. Have a wonderful day and God bless.
Totallyshocked
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