My sister excommunicated me 4 weeks before my mom died. I spent the next three weeks taking care of my mom & dad. It was convenient for my sister, she didn’t have to show up or hear anything about what was going on, and she could skip the memorial a month later because it was “MY” fault. On the plus side, I got a chance for a rare experience, it affected me deeply and I’m still dealing with that, but it was in a way a gift from my mom since she passed away very peacefully, had great care during that time, and was never alone.
We don’t have to spend time with or put up with our families. Society makes us feel guilty for not doing so. But there are really no rules, someone just made up an arbitrary set of them eons ago. Now that my mom (the glue in our family) is gone, I don’t have any obligations to see my family. I do talk with my dad and my older brother (we’re co-executors for my dad’s estate) but the other two siblings I never hear from and don’t bother them.
*** note – parents excepted, of course you have to take care of your children ***
It’s better to listen to your husband since he’s the one who can give you an outside perspective rather than you continuously believing what’s going on in your head. My husband lets me know when I’m doing too much and not spending enough time with him. NOW I NEED TO TAKE THAT ADVICE MYSELF.REPORT ABUSE