so_calvin… WOW! Can I ever relate! That has to be one of the worst parts (for me) about having ADHD. Like you, I never really know when my temper will get away from me. I try to brace myself and to not let things get to me, but that doesn’t always work and, without warning, I can go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde in an instant. It’s not pretty. When I’ve calmed down, it’s flat-out humiliating to realize what I’ve done and then I end up beating myself up (figuratively speaking) over my behavior for the next week.
I’ve dealt with it by isolating myself and avoiding crowds and social situations. Yea, I know, not a good solution. But now that I’ve found this website and have begun this journey to reclaim my life, I’m looking forward to learning the skills and techniques (and medication, if necessary) that will help me start living again.
Something that sometimes helps me when I feel myself losing control is I remind myself that it’s not life or death or anything personal and I remind myself that I can almost always walk away… which may seem rude at the time, but it beats leaving a bunch of people with stunned or scared looks on their faces. It’s a work in progress. 
If I may share a personal story of my own… I worked for a company where we had daily morning meetings with the president of the division. All the department heads would give reports on how we were doing. Well, sales had been slipping a bit and we had a few gaffs in production that cost us profits which put the president in a foul mood. So, with a scowl on this face, the first thing he says to us is “Does anyone in this company want to make money?” It wasn’t really even a question as much as an accusation of laziness among the staff. Aside from this newly-hired president, I knew everyone within the division were hard-working, dedicated professionals that cared about the job, product and customers.
I can say I have never become so enraged so quickly. To this day I can not believe I didn’t launch into him with my best insults and every demeaning comment I could think of (and there were lots running through my head at a mile a minute). I could almost feel my whole body vibrating, just sitting there, trying to keep it together. The one thought that kept me in check was that I wanted to keep my job and I knew if I said anything that I would be out the door shortly. Turned out to be the right decision, but I’ve never forgotten how quickly the switch flipped and how close I came to making everyone think I was crazy.
After that I thought to myself, “this ‘jerk’ isn’t worth losing my job, or my temper, over.” and I try to remember that when dealing with difficult people. It doesn’t mean I never get mad… but I have an exit strategy if I need it.
Hang in there and thanks for sharing your story.
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