The Forums › Forums › Most X-treme! › Pain › The Emotional Pain can cut like a knife › Re: The Emotional Pain can cut like a knife
Curly- I hear you! I’ve holed myself up out of fear of rejection for most of my life. Rejection was the great barrier for me. In reality I think I probably FELT more rejected than I actually was because of my own self-confidence issues. I never put myself out there to find a mate suitable for me and always ended up settling for someone I was sure would ever reject me. Well, after 20 years, 20 lbs. and a chronically messy house, I was finally rejected by the one I thought would never reject me…..OUCH! How dare he! I cried and cried and moaned and bitched and raged until i nearly self-immolated.
That was when I realized that I needed to work on ME and find out what it was that i wanted, what kind of person I wanted to be with, because those were things I thought other people deserved, not me. I would love to one day be with a supportive partner who I can grow together with and share my life with but think that will happen eventually as I become more ME. Now on medication, I find its actually fun, this new self-discovery, I’m enjoying getting to know myself better, what I can do, my full potential. If love happens, great, I’m not going and looking for it anymore though (curse you Match.com!!). Sorry if this sounds platitudinal, but I really do mean it.
@Joel….its interesting that question about losing someone before the age of 7. My mother died when I was seven! However, I’m the opposite….overly emotional. I wonder if it is a gender specific question. My ex-was emotionless and his father left them when he was seven. Seven the magic number!
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