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Re: What does it take to become an “Insider” ?

Re: What does it take to become an “Insider” ?2012-10-24T11:02:33+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? What does it take to become an "Insider" ? Re: What does it take to become an “Insider” ?

#116992

Robbo
Member
Post count: 929

Thanks Scattybird, Very well said. Mostly I feel bad because I’ve hurt Ricks feelings, and other people too. Feeling embarrassed about this clouded my ability to figure out how to say what you just said. I’m glad we’re on the same team. I’ve been trying to work out what the heck’s going on with me, and what’s the lesson I can learn here.

So far here’s what I’ve got. Maybe it’s a common characteristic with ADDers too. When I feel like people are being especially kind, or generous to me. I subconsciously reject it, or just mess it up because some part of me still doesn’t think I deserve it, it’s also been hard to accept some of the compliments I’ve gotten recently in my email, on the phone, and I’ve even got some new opportunities away from the Internet too.

People are telling me I’m more valuable than I feel. I just kinda squirm at first because I’m not used to so much positive feedbacl, I still struggle with simply accepting a compliment, I’ve been getting some big ones, yikes!. The added responsibility I’m not sure I’m up to also stirs up my insecurity. So, I go into self destruction mode, and make a mess before I realize what I’m doing. It’s especially hard to handle when I hurt the people who are a source of encouragement. It’s a long way back to feeling good about myself consistently, dealing with a complex problem like ADHD is a lifelong project, that’s a lesson I keep re-learning a lot.

I’m learning, I’m growing. Life can’t always be more fun than a barrel full of monkeys right?. That’s a fun visual though. Imagine waking up to about 7 monkeys jumping on your bed, I’d be the one who fell off and broke his head :-) ***smirk smirk*** now maybe you guys will get that old nursery rhyme stuck in your head.

Momma called the doctor and the doctor said- NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED! (you guys know the rest right?)

PS, the new avatar is my self portrait. A doodle people find on notes n hand written letters from me. (not usually with that same text)

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