Advise from the grilfriend

[Anonymous]

Whenever I have the inclination to think I have a measure of control in my life, I watch that pig cartoon http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=FrTbnczYAd4&feature=player_embedded

Great post, wgreen, food for thought.

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[Scattybird]

Glad the cartoon is still amusing you no-dopamine. I hope it goes viral – send it to as many people as possible.

Re. your comment about having a measure of control in your life…. I have decided it’s impossible for us – or me anyway.

Like today….. I spent all day trying to focus on something I need to do – desperately need to do. I failed so went home for food and a dog walk. Went back to work this evening, spent lots of money on Amazon, surfed the net and FINALLY it clicked. Peace descended on my brain, nobody else was around, silence in my office and I started the task and REALLY got into it. FANTASTIC AT LAST – it might be 22.00 but my brain was hyperfocussed and I knew I could get a good chunk of it done and I was alert enough to pack in a few hours..

THEN, the F$£@*&G fire alarm went off and I had to vacate the building. I can’t believe it. Now my brain is buzzing so I won’t sleep for ages which means tomorrow morning is dead and buried and another day is lost and the task still undone! 😥

SORRY for venting but GRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! The odds are already stacked against us so why does some stupid outside influence like a fire alarm crap all over us too? Still, Ormie the pig will cheer me up. Until I have to tell my boss I’ve missed another deadline.

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[Anonymous]

Sounds like an Ormie day to me 😆 I really, really like that cartoon.

I was going to go into work late today after being out of town, but instead I did some errands (including grocery shopping) that needed to be done without the usual stress. I will pay for it tomorrow when I have to catch up!

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[Scattybird]

Yes me too no_domapine. It shouldn’t just be on You Tube – it should be up there with some of the classics on TV.

Hope you didn’t have to pay too hard for running your errands instead of going into work.

Does it take you twice as long as your work colleagues to do stuff? It does me. Even when I finally stop messing around and get down to it, they seem to do everything much quicker.

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[Anonymous]

I have the animated move “9” on reserve at the library – it’s by the same animator/company (they also did Gnomeo and Juliet, but I haven’t seen that).

I actually planned my day and did what I planned, and then left early. Wow, that rarely happens!

It actually takes me longer than twice as long, for some things. Other things I can do really fast, but I don’t check my work and so I tend to dig myself into a hole that takes longer to dig out of than if I’d done it more slowly in the first place (which I can’t seem to do).

I am hopeless at cooking, can’t follow a recipe, miss ingredients. If the recipe says the prep time is 15 minutes, it takes me an hour, seriously. Thank goodness my husband loves to cook (and hates to have me do it).

Sorry, William, we hijacked your post!

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[Geoduck]

Can’t tell if it’s good or bad, either. Maybe she’s trying???

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[William]

Liked the pig video.

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[nellie]

sorry about the hijack William…but scattybird and no_dopamine you bring up an interesting point about doing stuff slowly.

I was thinking about this today. My work is mostly computer based and I work from home. I had been on vacation over the holidays and had to get back to work today so I scheduled in two hours in the morning and a couple of hours in the afternoon.

Although I got started an hour later than planned because I decided to do some house workbut was intending to make up for it. The work time was broken into two tasks and the original morning and afternoon time took this into account.

However, In the end I spent about 6 hours altogether but in analysis only the morning portion was actually finished. It seems I was spinning my wheels in the 2nd half of the day. Not that I wasn’t staying on task but stuff just wouldn’t work out. I’m starting to think that in terms of stuff that I really need to concentrate on I shouldn’t expect more than a couple of hours of efficiency. That and it seems I shouldn’t be doing anything brainless like housework beforehand either as it seems to deplete my energy.

I think I’ll just try to get right to work without doing anything except have breakfast and see if that makes a difference in my “brain power.”

Any experience in this regard?

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[Anonymous]

William

I have a similar history in terms of initial diagnosis was depression (long time on antidepressants) and then finally the ADD diagnosis.

In my case my ADD diagnosis came in late Nov, 2011. I also felt there was something else wrong over the years other than depression.

I have relationship issues as well but for different reasons. I am fortunate that the people around me have been supportive in helping me put the ADD in perspective. ADD from what I learned has caused a lot of problems for me because there is a whole host of behaviors and coping mechanisms that I developed.

I would interpret what your girlfriend said as follows.

She may hear you talking about ADD a lot (dwelling on it ) and she sees that there are some things you could be doing specifically to change the behaviours.

For example i went through the period of talking about ADD and identifying where it has affected me. I would talk to family members and friends. Then somebody said to me ‘ now that you know about ADD what are you going to change in your day to day behaviours.

I thought about it and developed a short list of behaviours that I wanted to change first . One of my first priorities is doing a better job of remembering things. So I decided I need to keep more reminder notes. Since I don’t get along very well with paper I decided to use my blackberry phone which has a calendar and note taker on it.

How is it working for me?.. Pretty well as long as I consistently use the Blackberry and discipline myself. It has improved my ability to remember and complete tasks. Does it eliminate all my issues in this area … HELL NO. But i am a lot better. (The only other problem using my Blackberry is that I sometimes can’t find it… that is another story, lol!!)

I think that I can change my behaviours but I am never going to be a 100% … I am going to make mistakes. So it is very important to set realistic expectations.

I am very much a work in progress and i am just starting out in terms of managing my ADD. I am starting a new job and I am concerned already about not setting myself up to fail. My biggest problem at work is procrastination… getting stuff done.

I am fortunate to be going to a top ADD clinic in Massachusetts. It is benefiting in terms of medical management (eg. my stimulants) I need to commit to more counseling/therapy. At some point I will look for an ADD coach that will help me address more specific issues (e.g., work situations, etc.)

I want a better work life and personal life. I have lived with this ADD probably all my life and want to reduce the chaos in my life.

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[Scattybird]

Robert – good advice. I tend to use paper for reminders. I have two diaries that are the same size so I can keep them together as a pair. One diary is week to view so I can see in advance what I have to prepare for each week and I just use that for appointments/commitments etc. The other is a day to view diary. I use that for my to-do list. So each day has a great long to-do list in it. Next to that, I select around 3 manageable tasks for that day and write them next to the big to-do list and try to do those tasks. The rest are carried across. This sounds ridiculous, but isolating 3 tasks and focussing on them makes the rest less overwhelming. Also, by carrying over the undone stuff I remind myself it’s there. If I need to do something like ‘phone someone at a set time then I put that in my cell ‘phone as a reminder. Sometime between all that, I sometimes manage some work! Before I was completely useless with different note books, bits of paper etc. I’ve only been doing it this year but 6 days in and it’s still working! By now I’d be lost normally.

Robert – good luck with your new job.

no_dopamine and nellie – it is interesting that you both have issues with doing some stuff slowly too. no-dopamine – I know what you mean about doing some tasks quickly though and having to pick up the pieces. I am so paranoid about mistakes that I double check stuff which takes time and I still miss them! I think you’re right nellie about 2 hours focus and also about not getting physically tired before hand too. If I walk the dogs before I do some work that’s it – nothing happens. That’s odd really because exercise is meant to help you focus. Glad I’m not alone out there.

William – sorry – we do tend to stray off point sometimes but then on the other hand if you see what the rest of us are like you won’t feel so different.

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[William]

Robert, remembering things is my number one problem. Things like dates names, appointments, items, etc. My girlfriend gets so mad at me when I can’t remember someones name in church (been going there for several months). Just draw a blank. I am the same way at work. Worked around most of these people for years and still have problems with their names.

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[William]

Also slective hearing, at lease thats what my girlfriend calls it. Do any of you hyper focus on something and don’t hear someone talking to you? I do that alot.

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[Wgreen]

Yeah, people think ADDers have hearing problems. I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked if I need a hearing aid.

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[William]

I try to act like I heard them, but I got me a smart girlfriend and she ask me to repeat what she said. I reply, I don’t have a clue (with a smile).

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[Anonymous]

Nellie, on the topic of losing steam or energy, I need to target my best working hours to the peak meds times. I work alone, self-employed, I totally get the wanting to do housework (or organize my workplace) before or in the middle of working time. That’s disastrous for me, because I have no energy left over. I find it’s better to plan a time to do that, many manufacturers I worked for (as an accountant) take the first few days of the new year to clean up, count inventory, etc. I would purge files into banker boxes, etc. So for me, it’s trying to find the frequency that the “housecleaning tasks” require, and then planning to do just that, and no other work.

Making my to-do list shorter, and doing it the day before, having no computer or phone at work, helps. I am getting through my commitments, hopefully soon I will get a bit further with this new way of working. But I have to have my husband help with the planning and telling me when to come & go, I still struggle with that.

William, I can’t remember faces and names, even 30 seconds after I’ve been introduced. It’s not your fault.

On meds, I’m now able to hold my attention when my husband starts a conversation. This past week I learned all about electromagnetic waves, gas giants, etc. I suppose we learned this in school but I swear I do not remember any of it, and it’s like learning it for the first time. The meds are like putting on a hearing aid and glasses, literally!

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