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Bullying

Bullying2011-02-21T20:39:17+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Bullying Bullying

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  • #89186

    Fabulous
    Member
    Post count: 173

    Has anyone been bullied as a kid or had difficulty socially – survived, but had lagging effects such as self-doubt, fears, confidence issues, difficulty making/keeping friends?

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    #101119

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    I faced bullying a lot as a kid. I would say that it has caused me a lot of self -doubt, fear and confidence issues. Is there some correlation between having adhd and being bullied?

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    #101120

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    yeah… self esteem is fragile stuff. :(

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    #101121

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    td,

    All the time. I was routinely the target for several of the bullies at all my schools. I was the class dummy. By the time I got to high school, I had no friends, I sat in the back of the classroom, last to arrive, first to leave. There were only two images of me in the yearbooks. One in my first year and one in my senior year. Other than that. I was a shadow. That has carried with me, to this day, where I am slightly agrophobic and very reclusive.

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    #101122

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    the good news is that you don’t have to continue to be the victim of your past- your future can be different! confidence and trust are re-buildable, making and keeping friends are skills you can learn and practice, etc. practice and a good manual do wonders. :D

    if you can get some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) from a professional, or even work through a program of personal growth from a quality library book, you’d be suprised (and very very pleased) with what you can create for yourself.

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    #101123

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Totally dude! I experienced lots of bullying. All throughout grade school. It was scary for me to go to school some days. Lots of days actually. I couldn’t eat. I had stomach problems. My parents said it was my fault for not fighting back and teachers and administrators didn’t care. I was a security guard at a middle school for two years and was glad to be part of a school that cracked down hard on bullying. We made school safe for kids to go to.

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    #101124

    Curlymoe115
    Member
    Post count: 206

    I was bullied from grade 4 on. We moved to a new house halfway through grade 3. My parents arranged for me to get driven until the end of grade 3 then I started in the new school in grade 4. From about the end of the summer on I was tormented mercilessly until halfway through grade 11. We then moved and I became a ghost in the new school. By that time I drove myself back and forth to school so there was less opportunities to get caught by the bullies. I still seem to attract the same people in the workplace so I have given up on the idea of working.

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    #101125

    laddybug3
    Member
    Post count: 226

    It was weird, when the bullies stopped bullying me. The first day in high school, was strange, no one bullied me. I remembering thinking it was test to see if I what I would do. My best friend ended our friendship a few months later, after she meant some kids that bullied me in grade school.

    Joined many clubs, and was shocked when three people asked me to hang out with them. I had no idea what to do. So I nodded, got their cell phone, called it, and it was really their phone number. Soon I had three different groups and two of the groups didn’t get along with each other.

    A teacher even pulled me a side, and said, “You are a nice girl, but you shouldn’t be their friends. They don’t suit you.”

    I looked at the teacher and told her, “They are my friends. My friends, my friends, I don’t have many of them. Sure they beat up kids and I don’t approve of that, but I am not getting beat up, and no one has screamed at me, called me fag it, Lauren germs, and I am not going back there. Did I do anything wrong?”

    A few days later, I am sent down to the social worker and joined a group. Many of whom, were in the groups that didn’t get along. I was moved from there to friendship building. Mostly, just wanting to run and hide again, but no one really knew that. Then suicide attempts happened. The social worker worked more on friendship.

    Lunch time was strange. I hopped from table to table. There was about four tables a lunch period, not to mention my time spent in a classroom meant for my “problem friends,” as so teachers called them. I had a table actually nick named the “misfits table.” There was no bullying there and anyone could join us.

    A peer came by the “misfits table,” and stated, “I somehow made it work and that I was popular.”

    Unable to hold it in any more, I ran to the library and hid there. That commit scared me, because my view of popular were the kids that made fun of me. Memories came hunting back and I read the two poets that helped me through the bullying of my past: Walt Whitman and Emily Dickson.

    One time to two groups told me not to talk them anymore. I listened and one girl who was in one of the groups was told the same thing. I handle well, thinking that I did this somehow and that I deserved this. The other girl was so angry, hurt, upset that she dragged me to the consoling center and demanded to talk to a social worker right away. I just wanted to get the heck out of there, talking about these things only made matters worse. We saw a social worker right away. I was just glad it wasn’t the social worker I saw normally, because we would talk about this, and I didn’t talked about it. I was in a strange good place. It ended up the usual, we should not be hanging out with them, and the stuff that made me feel like reading my two poets that made me feel better.

    I was never bullied the way I was from 4th to 8th grade. I don’t hang out with any of my high school friends. Although they call me to bail them out of jail, so me their debt, and call me when they need something.

    I made friends I think for life, but I am not sure. One of my friends states that bullying kids is what kids do. She never was bullied herself, or has no idea what she did was wrong. So, I go back and read my favorite poets, something my sixth grade teacher told me to do. Six grade was when the teacher finally decided to help with bullying. My teacher let me do milk, even though she wanted the other kids to do milk. Milk, was when you carried the bins from the two lunch periods at school. Both six grade teachers were awesome and they were hands on too.

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    #101126

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Bullied? Constantly – far longer than it should have. It’s completely messed up my life to the point where I fear inititating new conversations for fear of rejection.

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    #101127

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    I refer to what my father once said to me.

    As a first grader and second grader it didn’t matter that i got bullied it wasn’t problem for me. But i wasn’t aware of it that time also he said.

    From third grade when i was in the fall wholly in school, i started old hobby again (sports being running and stuff), but when i got aware of that practising i did at school seemed like “He’s doing that funny stuff again” i dropped that hobby very shortly. I was very childish in first and second year (second year i was almost all winter ill and i wasn’t at school very often), third years spring i was near death experience, i was twice at hospital first time i had serious dehydration, i was 10 days in drugs coma. after that i had operation which took of my tonsils? (which may grew too big (which was constant in my situation in childhood).

    In 4th grade i was pain in the ass to my fellow students, i got picked on because in the third grades end i got my brace which i had to ninth grade (in my memory). 4th grade was the worst for me, friend which i had in second and first year turned me down saying i wasn’t enough i good person for him to be friends (afterwards he has apologized his behaviour and i have accepted it.. just myself to figure how to deal with it without having it on with me anymore)..

    5th grade was better from the spring side when i finally got myself to open up to the guys… some of them saw the light and maybe because girls stood up for me ( i was in girls textile class). And best was 6th grade…

    But i befriended one student whom had been bullied from the first grade to the 6th grade. We were best friends that year. He moved to other school to get away from those who spoke ill of him. We met as 7th graders at sporthappening in the rowing stadium. He was having time of his life. His numbers had risen in many of those like math and such and mostly behaviour number.. What i didin’t know at that moment… my certain grades would lower substancially which would make my fall.

    It is sore to say but i surely got bullied, i even tried it myself being very poor on it and let it rest (for my and all others case).

    They remember to say to me and repeat it often.. Don’t think on the past because it won’t change anything. Still i feel this urge dwell on it. There is something i should know of me but i can’t make myself to getting on with it. It would or it wouldn’t clear my thoughts. I don’t see future in this. It’s almost like trying to figure how to survive but not doing anything for it.

    Oh, well one shouldn’t get into stuff like this…….

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    #101128

    Techdog
    Member
    Post count: 19

    Hello this seemed to be normal for me at school other students even teachers.Made a couple of good friends then lost them later on realized it was me.They had success in work I missed or didn’t realize my potential.Striking up a conversation with that girl in a bar was probably like the fear of skydiving to me.

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    #101129

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    There is a film out now called Bully in NYC and LA. Of course since it’s a documentary it will only come out in those two places. Anyway it tackles the epidemic of bullying. A critic says that it depicts what’s going on in schools but it doesn’t tackle the causes of it and why the schools don’t fight back. It doesn’t tackle ADHD of course but we can all relate to what happens in it. It doesn’t come up with any solutions except to click on a website to start a movement. This is a failure of many films. Miguel

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    #101130

    foogol
    Member
    Post count: 21

    No one had the courage to bully me..

    ➡ the movie Bully-

    http://www.movieinsider.com/m8966/the-bully-project/

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    #101131

    trashman
    Member
    Post count: 546

    I was bulled all my life. now at 49 5’8″ tall and 290lbs as soon as I think that someone tries to push me around I get angry and loud and threatening,and very in your face when I feel like someone is trying to put me down or make me feel or look stupid. now that I take my meds I don’t like being that person, but old habits are hard to change!! knowledge is power. so the battle continues.

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    #101132

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Bullied? Yes, I certainly had my share of it as a kid but I didn’t let it bother me.

    I think is we asked any one else out there (ADD or not), every single person would be able to name a time when they were ‘bullied’ in their life.

    I understand there are some cases of ‘extreme’ bullying out there but most of us need to be a little less thin-skinned. It’s has come to the point where there is now a soccer league for kids in my general vicinity that doesn’t allow a team to score more than a certain number of goals against the opposing team because….the other team’s kids would feel bullied and feel badly about themselves for their low score.

    Ignoring those around us and instead focussing on our strengths and abilities would surely do us more good than dwelling on the negative comments of others.

    We are in control of who we want to be or what we become. If we observe ‘bullying’ we do need to speak up against it. In the same way, we need to focus on the ‘good’ words (or positive comments) being given to us.

    If we aren’t hearing enough positive comments coming our way, it could be perhaps that we could be the start of a movement of people who lead the charge in beginning that trend.

    Let’s be the people who turn the tide and lead by example by spreading good words.

    Personally, I think ADDers are deep and sensitive people. We’re great at being super-observant of what is going on around us (yes, not always super-observant on the proper stuff) so I think we’d be the ones who are much more apt to notice all the good stuff happening and being done in our communities.

    Let’s fight back to those who we feel are the bullies by using positive and kind words. Bullies are really just people who are hurting, too. I think they need help more badly than many of us do.

    Sorry for blathering but I think they’re just angry and huriting people. I feel sorry for the sad lives they are stuck in. :(

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