Confused…

[Geoduck]

I don’t like Dr. Oz. There have been 2 specific instances, involving magic weight loss things, where he has used non-science to unwittingly sell this snake oil crap. So really, I gotta say, not the best source for actual scientific research on anything.

The term “healthy” would imply that there is some sort of cure for ADHD. While there are tools, and medications that can help (not everyone, not always), there is no cure. Your brain is healthy, it is just not what is considered “normal.” Most of the human population does not have this condition, so statistically, we have abnormal brains. Frankly, I like feeling abby-normal, rather than being told I’m unhealthy. I can be healthy for me, which may not be normal, so unhealthy is silly.

Yes, it is considered a mental illness. Mostly because, in my humble opinion, the psychiatric community has yet to come up with a better term. Different condition, abnormal, not right in the head, maybe. LOL! Still, the implication is that we can be “healed” of our ADHD, when the term “illness” is used. However, that’s what the powers that be call it, so to get proper treatment, we gotta roll with it for now, I guess.

Still, we aren’t normal functioning people. We are different. We have problems with our ADHD. We thrive in spite of it, because we learn to use our ADHD brains to their best ability, sometimes using the ADHD itself, in order to survive. We are more “outside the box” and “hilarious” and such. Still, we ain’t normal, and we struggle.

I often think of a Dr. Barkley (that’s the guy’s name, I think) video. He gets upset because people say they are successful because of their ADHD, and says they are successful despite, not because of their ADHD. He says that if your child starts exhibiting these symptoms, you should seek help for a possible frontal lobe injury.

In a way, he’s right, but he’s missing a few things. People say they are successful because of their ADHD, because they’ve had to learn to live with it. They have to learn to work with it. When they can find something about it that is useful, like say, Rick Green’s humor (I finally saw the fist episode of the Red Green show. Boat scene was hilarious), they can exploit it and they become successful because of it, well, that isn’t untrue, now is it? They do become successful because of their ADHD.

When someone has struggled with their ADHD for so long, that they develop some sort of strength that gets them through all sorts of trials, well, then yes, they are successful because of their ADHD.

When I choose to find something great about myself, specifically the ADHD parts, I’m choosing not to let ADHD defeat me. While I respect Dr. Barkley (again, name) much more than Dr. Oz, I can’t respect his opinion here. Even if we say we are successful only to keep ourselves from being defeated by the fact that we have an incurable condition that causes us grief and pain, all our lives, it’s fine. Should we put ourselves in a corner, and rock back and forth for the rest of our lives, because we know it’s with us forever? No, who would ask such a thing??? Should we be considered invalids, or wastes of human beings? What would make him happy, here? If he is just trying to get people to take it seriously, he needs to try a different approach. Stigmatizing us as horribly broken isn’t a great one.

So yes, you got it. You’ve more than likely always had it, and yes, it’s very alright, and highly encouraged that you learn to embrace it and find any advantage with it that you can. You are still a complete human being, and don’t let anyone, especially a heart surgeon on TV (dude’s not a brain surgeon, even in the non-literal sense- nor a rocket scientist), or a well meaning guy who generally knows what he’s talking about, make you feel less than for who you can’t help but being. Get the help you need, but don’t become your ADHD label, especially as defined by someone else.

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[distractedmomma]

A lot to read, so I`m only getting bits and pieces, but it helps a lot, so a sincere THANK YOU to all!

Robbo, dont worry about hijacking, Im sure if we were all sitting in the same room together we`d be cutting each other off and changing the subject constantly lol!

I kind of enjoy seeing that others` brains work like mine

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[distractedmomma]

On the subject of changind subjects, how to I upload a pic? I keep getting an error message even if my pic is the right size!

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[Geoduck]

@Robbo, Dr. Oz is on during the day, and is aimed at women that largely stay at home, that’s why his audience is female. If you look at the advertising of any given show, you can determine the audience.

Really, I hate daytime TV, and I’m a woman. I only used to watch it because when you are stuck in a chair, with a nursing kid, who won’t be put down, because she’s growing like a fiend and can’t get enough milk, despite everything else ya shove down her gullet, and you don’t have cable, well, that means you have not much choice in TV. LOL! Anyway, that’s who the target audience is. If dudes could be stuck in a chair nursing, the dudes would get hooked on that stuff, too, and you’d see more football ads. LOL!

RE: Long posts…that’s the irony of ADHD; ADHDers can’t sit and read a long post but boy, we sure can write ’em. LOL!

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[Robbo]

ADHD is not a mental illness, it’s a mental difference. Many of us end up with mental illness due to ADHD. Trust me, I freakin live there.

Healthy is one of the least understood words I can think of. Not that I can think of many words. That’s why I invent my own words many times. Capitalist pigs use the word “healthy” sell us crap.

You’re right Geoduck, our mental health community still hasn’t come up with a better way to describe ADHD. Mainly because they don’t understand it!. NONE OF US DO. There are no freakin experts. The profit motive is the biggest problem with any field of medicine, including psychiatry, psychology, and all the lame “new age” bull they throw at us.

This community only represents a small portion of the ADHD community. The vast majority didn’t cope as well as us. I’m talking about the ever increasing homeless population. The largest prison population in the world right here in the US is packed tight with angry, insane, misunderstood, and doomed ADDers. We’re the lucky one.

The “Insiders” I can’t stand that term. If I don’t cough up whatever the price turns out to be “an insider” here at totallyadd.com. what does that make me?. Well what’s the opposite of an insider?, what most of us have felt like most of our lives. Bad choice Rick and friends.

I don’t know crap about Dr. Barkley, I just know he reminds me too much of my dad. So of course my own issues discolor my ability to pass any kind of judgment on him. Does the guy ever smile? Is he as angry as he looks?.

Thanks Geoduck, I’m gonna write this down and put in on my wall. “Don’t become your ADH label.” I changed the letters. I think calling this a disorder is one of the bigger mistakes they’ve made. I wonder if syndrome fits. Maybe after I learn more about writing English I’ll come up with something. Maybe just us the d on the end for difference. We’re just different. Ever human being on the dang planet has a disorder. It’s called being a human being. Much less than perfect.

<<“Im sure if we were all sitting in the same room together we`d be cutting each other off and changing the subject constantly lol!>>” LOL. you’re right!. it would be fun too. Lot’s of jokes mixed in, huh?. Of course later, after the one hour limit of how many times we can click on edit to change our posts I realized that going off topic is a big part of why we’re so interesting huh? That reminds me of a great joke… hehe. An ADDer walks into a bar… fill in the blank you guys!… we got a million of em, huh?

How funny, I thought you were a dud Geoduck. Please don’t take that bad. On the Internet it’s sometimes nothing more than a wild guess!. and nowadays, women are doing all the things men do, n vise versa to some extent. That’ snot a compaint either. From now on I’ll realize I’m reading a womans point of view. Not that it will make any freaking difference at all Us squirrels should probly stick together, huh? Heck, even my body builder avatar could be female, huh? I’m kinda like Rick too. I’ve got a girly voice hehe. Darn, I ran a search with google for that “I’m not a woman” blog using google, but found this at least. FUNNY! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka59V4TFefM

Your right about the length of posts Geoduck, I’m one of the weird ones that spend about 5 times more reading than writing here. N that’s saying a lot, because some posts can take me 3 or more hours to edit, and I still won’t be happy. Good examples above, for those of you who are like me, and really do read all of what people have to say. (of course! that’s not always true, nothing I say is always true.) We got that in common huh? we contradict ourselves as a way of life. Dull, boring, that’ snot us!

I’m not gonna edit this one. I decided a couple days, er… a day ago????? to spend less time here (again that it…) But this time I mean it! really…

BBL

9-2-12

PS, I’m just stuck in a chair, but don’t have the equipment to nurse a baby hehe. I respect mom’s who stick around when their kids are really little more than any other human beings. Raising kids is the most important job there is on Earth. I wish more men would get this fact into their thick skull. I think gender bashing of any kind is just dumb, so don’t take any of this wrong okay you guys?. I just got impressed by the way you described being a mom. I loved it when my little angel was an eating machine. Always keeping an eye on her when she became mobile, and everything got “the taste test” Talk about stress!!!. Mom’s rock. I love my mom and dad, ADHD kinda whacked out my family… I usually try to avoid blame, but it is whatever is it. When my dad first became a father, his wife. (he’s my step dad, that wife was his X before my mom). his wife was too afraid of holding my oldest brother (I don’t call any of my brothers, sisters, or dad “step” anything) because he was extremely tiny. So my dad kicked butt for the first 4 or 5 months. That’s just one experience I remember him sharing. I’m gonna try to quit talking about my family here. Too much raw emotion gets stirred up. I edited this “PS” part of my post cuz I didn’t want to F anything up. It’s possible my family is reading. I tell the truth as I remember it regardless. It’s till not feeling like a good idea. Plain old gut instinct.

Ramling on is not a crime! It kills me to post without editing, but I know I’ll spend about 3 hours. So maybe I’ll read it through later, when I don’t need to get into the bathroom before my kidneys explode.

Peace.

PPS, as usual, I gave my post one quick read after posting. A very good habit. Didn’t change anything other than adding this second PS. Goodnuff!… nothings perfect. of course I’ll think different later. That’s one of my favorite hobbies!

PPPS. okay, I went pee. I just read your post again Geoduck, Great stuff!. I’m fairly well medicated tonight. Got lot’s of rest. So my perspective is fairly “healthy” by my standards…. What a word huh? Doctors deal with sick people all day, and under pressure. So of course their idea of healthy might be a little out of whack. If I get close to passing judgement, I usually get a bad feeling in my gut that probably means stop. I’m learning to listen to it better. But when people tell me “I don’t judge” I just ask them how they pick their friends! lol. They usually shut the F up at that point. We do it, we judge, it’s not a crime. It’s just risky.

That thing you said about Bark ly lol. (like what I did to his name?) he’s a real barker! hehe. OUch! I just busted my own gut!. I’ve been wanting to make fun of his name for a long time. Now I’m done. Anyway. the last time one of my brothers kicked my ass he litterally picked me up, turned me over and dropped me on my head!. So yeah, maybe Dr. Barker is right? I remember after I got up that I flipped out, Just kept walking into him, he kept fisting me in the face, but I backed him into a fence and did some serious damage to his face. Never again did a big brother kick my ass. Of course we still got in tons of fights. That’s just what brothers do. Ah crap. I was gonna stop talking about family wasn’t I? I remember it well, so no brain injury… I’m guessing we all get countless minor brain injuries. Remember when none of us had even heard of wearing a helmet on a bicycle? Even in the late 80’s I never wore a helmet, didn’t even own one!. And I had many death defying wipe outs in the hills, on the 10 speed, and later on the mountain bike. Too many to count if I could count. I wonder…. hmmm never mind. The only time I remember getting a headache from a bike wipeout was on my motorcycle. Good helmet on that day. Not counting the wipe out that left me paralyzed. I’m sure I had a headache then. But I don’t remember the first 10 days after that one. Don’t feel bad, just pray for me if you believe in God.

Keep trying smaller file sizes distractedmomma. Maybe read the directions one last time a lil slower? I had to try about 5 or 6 times myself, probably… who counts? There’s no giving up when born with ADHD.

I’m just not in the mood to edit the crap out of my writing tonight. So if it’s a bit raw. sue me! lol. The one time I did read through, most of the typo’s were typical ADDer typo’s that I’m sure you guys can add the extra letter I forgot to… Goodnuff. It’s more honest to say that I’m beginning to get into the habit of editing as I go. I must be lernin somthin.

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[Patrick]

Robbo:

Wow, your words:  “ADHD is not a mental illness, it’s a mental difference. Many of us end up with mental illness due to ADHD. …” are so true…!

I spent 3 years studying psychology.  I didn’t know what were my real motivations, until recently.  I was interested in scientific reasearch about ADD,  simply because… I had ADD myself, and I was just looking for a fix.

I still haven’t seen a doctor about it  because I have not decided if I want to force chemically my brain to fit the norm or not.    Yeah, it would help my career.  But at the same time, I feel I would denaturate myself.   Just like when one of my friends took antidepressants.  He was different, like if he were someone else.  I missed him, even when I saw him…  I was so happy when he did quit that shit, I found him back, with his anxieties and fears, which is part of what makes him… him.

For me the issue is not about ADD itself.  It’s about all the shit it brought in my life.   Socially, it’s a mess.  The horror: a group of people.  I figured recently I wasn’t anti-social…  I was just unable to follow a group dynamic, so I prefered one-on-one discussions and friendships.  People sometimes think I didn’t care about them beacause I was not listening, so they judge me, got angry at me, etc.   Sometimes I looked like an idiot at work because I could not follow a complex explanation. Not to mention the  love life, which tends to be catastrophic (infidelity, endless mourning, etc.).   So yeah, ADD is not an illness itself.  It’s trying to protecting oneself against suffering, caused by social rejection or judgment, that creates metal illness…

 

distractedmomma:

[Warning: these are my just my theories, I’m not a psychologist…]

Concerning the differences of the brain, I see a lot of litterature talking about a “weak” part of the brain, the part controlling attention.  Using scanners, they found that a part of the brain was smaller in people with ADD.  And they found a genetical link.   But this sounds like bullshit to me, because of this:  as the brain learns, it modifies itself.  Unused neural path (connexion between neurons) will shrink, and the very used one will grow.   So, my understanding is that: people with ADD use less the part of their brain that controls attention – which is inhibitive, blocking focus on unappropriate toughts –   so it tends to be smaller.  It sounds like a reversed cause-effect link to me.  We don’t have a less attention control because of a smaller part of our brain (inherited structural difference)- we just use it less, so it does shrink or develop less (context-related evolution of the structure).   We could use more tought control: we are capable of it.  But it’s boring to try, so we don’t!   I feel that addiction approach is a more relevant to approach ADD.   We can’t let go of the thrill we easily have with interesting stuff.

The way I see ADD is more related to “polarization of interest”, which is my own personal ADD-scale.    A   person having quite equal interest in everithing would be a bit like a zombie, being neutral all the time to everything (score zero on my scale). A person with totally poralized interest would certainly have ADD – just unable to stand something boring, constantly rushing into interesting and stimulating stuff. (score 100 on my scale).    When I tried Ritalin once, that’s funny, I felt like a zombie.  Oh it went well, I could study soooo easily.  But I think I prefer just being… human.

Personnaly, I do exercices to train that “weak” part of my brain, that controls attention.  My tool is meditation.  I find that the biggest challenge is to learn to accept to feel bored.  The way I describe my training (meditation) is: learning to stay calm, not trying to run away, even if feel like I’m in fire.  It’s good for the non-ADD people too.

But as you can see, I’m still not very good at it.  I should be working right now, but I’m sooooo excited I found people like me I can’t work 🙂

Cheers,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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