Destroyed My Life!!!!

[Anonymous]

I just found out after trying to figure out why my life hs been unsuccessful, chaotic and destructive!!! I am on Vyvanse but the 50mg is giving me strong heartbeats and scaring me…..

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[Patte Rosebank]

@iliber, that feeling of looking back over all that you missed out on because of your undiagnosed ADD, is something we all go through when we’re diagnosed in adulthood. Long after that diagnosis, we still tend to keep up our lifelong habit of beating ourselves up over our failures, because others have been doing it for so long. People always remember pain more than pleasure, so we remember the bad stuff a lot more than we remember the good stuff.

We know we’re not lazy, stupid, or crazy, so how come we keep doing things that make us seem that way? And how come, the harder we try NOT to do the things that make us seem that way, the more likely it is that we WILL do them? No wonder so many of us spent years being treated for anxiety and depression before finding out that those were just symptoms of having undiagnosed ADD!

We need to be reminded of all the amazing stuff we’ve done, not in spite of, but BECAUSE of our ADD. We’re the ones whose minds work so quickly that we can size up a situation before most other people can, and figure out what to do. This makes us the ones you want on your team for a brainstorming session, or when there’s an emergency. The leaps and bounds of our thought processes mean that we keep coming up with wonderful ideas and innovations. We’re also very empathic and caring. It hurts us to see others, whether humans or animals, upset or in pain. It’s so easy for us to comfort them, and yet, it’s so hard for us to comfort ourselves.

Iliber, you haven’t “destroyed” lives. You’ve enriched them! Sure, there have been frustrations along the way, but everyone gets them (and gives them), whether they have ADD or not. As you learn more about your ADD, and how you can work with it to maximize the good stuff while minimizing the challenges, you’ll see just how special you are. And what a great thing it can be to have a gift like this.

Medication won’t do it all for you, but it will help you to make the changes you need to, in order to work with your ADD. Keeping a journal of how you respond to the medication each day, will help you and your doctor to find the right medicine(s) and the right dosage(s). It can just be point-form, listing what medicine(s) and dose(s), how they made you feel (good, bad, or no change), and any other factors (sickness, a fight with your spouse, a great day at work, etc.) that may have had an impact on that.

Increased blood pressure can happen on any ADD medication, whether stimulant-based or not. This often happens when you start on a new drug or increase the dosage. My doctor said that this is the body’s way of adjusting to it, and that the adjustment period can last for a couple of weeks. So, between now and when you see your doctor, check your blood pressure every day or two on the free machine that most drugstores have, and keep a record of the readings. That way, you’ll be able to give your doctor more information to work with. Of course, if you feel major heart palpitations, or a strong pain in your left arm, seek medical help immediately.

Discovering you have ADD is actually a very liberating thing. Now that you know how you got to where you are in your life, you can start figuring out where you want to go, and how to get there. It’s the start of a great adventure!

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[ADDled]

We don’t think so….you’ve taken a very important step by posting here.

Read the stories. We’ve ALL been there and know exactly what you are going through and what you are feeling and, most importantly, we understand. Better than most people on this planet.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[Anonymous]

My name is Isaac. I will change it in the profile. I want to first thank you (with tears in my eyes) for your support. I truly do. I feelso beaten by life. I have watched all of my friends excl in their lives and wondered for so long why I have not succeeded with all of my business ideas and abilities. I have a terrible relationship with my wife that stems from the lack of money or lack of ability to make it. I am sure that many of you know what I am feeling. This is all so new. I am a fighter and an incredibly POSITIVE individual…..

Isaac

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[Mike]

Here’s the thing to consider about whether you are a failure. Are you kind? Honest? Do you love your wife? Do you care about the world? Do you help others? Do you have friends? (You must, you say you do.) Have you kept trying even when you failed? Are you insightful? Empathetic?

Talk to those friends you have, and ask them what they like about you, or what strengths they see in you, that you may not see.

I’ve done this and people have been so much nicer and more supportive than I ever imagined. Yeah, a couple of them had stuff to get off their chests first. And no wonder. I’d screwed up a lot. (I didn’t use the ADHD as an excuse. I found they didn’t much care. They were just pissed.)

I used to feel so beaten. And yet I had friends too. And people I cared about. And goals… dreams…

My only suggestion, and this is the perfect website for this, don’t take everything so seriously or believe every thought you have about yourself. One of the suggestions I like is to play at life. Like we did when we were kids. We didn’t care if we won or lost, we just played. Every day. Again and again.

I’m learning, slowly, to play again. I hope you do too.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

In your very first posting you said the medication is giving you heartbeat issues. I’d get that checked out. Talk to your doctor.

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[Anonymous]

@Isacc

You are not alone. We’ve all been watching our peers run while that pebble in the shoe has kept at a limp… That doesn’t mean you should feel any less upset or bitter, depressed or whatever. You effectively need to grieve your opportunities lost and move on. Personally I’m only a few months into the realization of what’s been happening…

I brought something up to my Doc that he sorta validated.

We can’t spend time trying to fix the past. It’s not going to happen. This isn’t Star Trek where we can find a tear in the space time continuum to travel back to make changes. (Even then there’d be the Grandfather Paradox but I digress.) Even in Sci-fi it takes allot of energy to go back. So why do it? Or bother trying? Spend far less energy working in the NOW and have more in the FUTURE and you’re further ahead.

What are you doing for tomorrow?

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[Anonymous]

Isaac — see your doc. Before I was prescribed concerta/ritalin, I had to have a full battery of cardiac tests. I do get heart palpitations and take propranolol (a beta blocker) for them. It’s interesting that the ritalin (speed essentially) slows down my head, but still acts like a stimulant on the rest of my body. Get it checked out, my $.02.

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[trashman]

isaac- we have very much the same story i am still wating for testing my doc is so sure iam allready on concerta if i spend my time looking back i could cry for all the short comings in my life But instead i look on the up side ilike to make the people around me laugh so that is what helps me thru this learning curve. my heart hurts to hear your story so know you are not alone and try to look to a more positive future with the info you now have. keep reading the many posts they are so very help full.iam not very good at this typing thing so i dont post much but reading all the diffirernt storyies help me to to keep hoping for better things to come. it sounds like the best chapters of your life are now going to be witten with alot of in sight and power geting to know the real YOU .with all the new info you will learn on what makes you work the way you do. good luck will be wating to updates and hope this helps your never alone here.

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[Anonymous]

To the people that have posted replies. I truly thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!! Your words are messages of continued strength, your relation to me… I don;t feel sorry for myself, just the people I have hurt. Although unintentionally, still they hurt. I am unable to put the dots together and it keeps me from supportting my family. The chaotic life I live is a viscious circle whereby the inability to make things happen and complete tasks, leaves big gaps in my ability to provide and pay the bills. That stress bringsa tornado effect whereby you are are trying to catch up on bill payments and run your business, unsuccessfully however. Everyday is a catch22!!!! I will be back on meds next week, going back to a low dosage of Vyvanse. Doing a stress test to make sure everything is alright…..

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