Does ADD make us abnormally argumentative?

[Geoduck]

So do ADD people have this compulsion to argue for the sake of argument? I’ve run into this with myself, my family, and some ADD friends. Is this ADD, or just really bad social skills?

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[Bibliophile]

Probably a few things at play in our heads that lead us to argue:

1. We enjoy stimulus and arguing gets endorphins going
2. We are poor listeners and might misunderstand a point or simply get irritated by the need to wait, which puts us in an argumentative state
3. We go off on tangents which leads to more to talk about and more arguing
4. We may have anti-social, ODD or other comorbidities that result in us getting a thrill from making others admit they are/were wrong
5. Arguing is usually fast paced and fits our thinking pattern, unlike debate which requires waiting turns, making sure to address previously stated points, etc.
6. We may just enjoy the human interaction as many of us end up shunned from social networks due to our lack of impulse control, e.g. saying hurtful things unintentionally
7. ADHD people often hold world views that are rigid as a coping strategy. Things are good or bad. We are poor at handling grey issues and this might lead us to take a stance on either the black or white side in order to remove the middle ground

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[billd]

uh, yes. I even read it on another ADD site.

My former boss and I used to “get into it” just for the sake of “debate”. He compared it to 2 lawyers arguing sides they didn’t even believe in!

(we actually enjoyed it, and knew it wasn’t serious. He wasn’t ADD, although he now lives in Canada……..)

Yes, I argue sometimes for who knows what reason. Even when I find myself discovering that I”m the one who is incorrect, I’ll carry it on.

But what cinched it for me was finding that it’s a “sign” or “symptom” in some folks in that other site. They had a TON of great “diagnostic” info.

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[Anonymous]

For me, I often blurt things out and then become dumbfounded by the blank reactions from others. I know that when things get going, my emotions take over and my rational, thinking part is left in the back seat. My emotions can become so intense that I can easily go into a rage.

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[Anonymous]

librarian_chef mostly nailed it for me. But I also like to stick up for the underdog, and be a rebel and see if I can get away with it.

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[Anonymous]

you guys are all wrong. I’m not argumentative. I can prove it…

I agree with no_dope that I have a strong black sheep tendency, even when it’s none of my business. Love the underdog, and always willing to take on the establishment and teach them a lesson. Not the typical place for a guy who’s 6’5″ and looks like “business man number 3” from central casting.

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[Anonymous]

I think in my case it’s from my impulsiveness. I’ll hear or read something, and this urge to comment suddenly comes over me. Sometimes it’s good, other times it makes me wonder why I said that!

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[Geoduck]

librarian_chef, that’s awesome. Where did you find all that information? Also, BillD, where’s this other site?

Thanks. I get sucked into arguments, easily. I usually don’t start them (occasionally, I guess, who doesn’t?), but have a hard time resisting. I think my medication kicked in last night, when this gal (strongly suspected ADD case), started arguing over every thing that was said. I figured it out, and just sat silent, which sitting silently is not something I generally do.

I also tend to fight for the underdog, but I do have a good grasp on “grey,” and tend to like to find happy mediums. However, when I take to an issue that I do have a strong feeling about, I generally don’t back down. My dad figured this out about me and used to start arguments knowing this. Guess where the ADD comes from. LOL!

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[Anonymous]

To Librarian_Chef’s point, I think becoming a lawyer destroyed my compass. You think law is clear cut and about rigid rules. Holy cow it’s not. Nothing will wear down your integrity faster than realizing the world runs on the trust and honesty of others. That’s why I never trust cops or lawyers–they’ve seen the matrix and know how to get away with anything.

@Geoduck two excruciatingly effective tricks I learned in law school: silence and the power of the paper. When you ask someone a question or they start talking, stare at them without any response. They will become uncomfortable and fill the void with more words. When you need someone to talk freely and spill something, this works well, usually.

The power of the paper is even better. When interrogating someone (especially about specific facts), visually refer to a piece of paper (i.e., look at it, and pretend to read from it or glance at it to check someone’s answers). E.g.: “So, how much money did you spend at the store [looks at paper, looks up]?” The paper can be your Christmas card list, it doesn’t matter. The victim/witness will intimidated by the impression that you have the answer and are testing them.

What a horrible profession this is.

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[Anonymous]

I’m horrible at arguing. I can get pretty heated up. but I don’t process quickly enough to win an argument even when I am right! My ex used to best me all the time with this tactic. fast-talking. hate hate hate fast talking. give me a little time and I’ll be full of awesome.. if i can remember verbatim about what was actually said lol. i don’t know. sometimes my brain pulls it together. usually does if I have appropriate time. I would make a horrible trial attorney. I also look confused sometimes when I am thinking intensely. seems to be a common thread that ADD inattentiveness can make you the smartest dumb-appearing person.

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[caper]

co-morbid aspergers could be an explaination of argumentativeness.

http://theemergencesite.com/FearMonsterColumn/FearMonsters-03Feb08.htm

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[Anonymous]

caper,

that would certainly explain this one friend I have! (who I am sure has asberger’s). He stalks me on facebook and has to argue with every thing I post, then wonders why I don’t want to hang out with him, then argues with me about me not wanting to hang out with him, than argues with me about how I don’t want to hang out with him because he always argues with me, then argues with me about that I think he is always arguing with me……then still wants to hang out, and argues with me about…………………… *head desk*

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[billd]

pete-puma the husband of one of my wife’s cousins is a retired lawyer. He worked in the Iowa attorney general’s office, was one of the Polk county attorney’s, had private practice, was well respected by major government lawyers.

He was once talking about a case that involved a teen in some shooting thing. Something that struck me was that the law was one thing, justice was another. The two didn’t always jive, he strived for justice when they didn’t directly connect.

(in another topic – I personally feel we need to be back to the ROOTS of our justice system, as it was designed, what it was patterned after, and how our founding fathers intended for it to be. They studied law and justice covering thousands of years, took the best of each, and tried to protect against the worst of the part. We are destroying that concept today, getting away from our roots.)

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[Anonymous]

@sugargremlin – what you said about not being able to process quickly enough to take part in a heated discussion (or any discussion, for that matter) hits home with me. I can always think about it after, what I should have said, etc., but in the heat of the moment, I can’t.

Now that I am recognizing this as part of a bigger issue, whenever my husband starts to move too quickly in a conversation, I let him know that I need more time to absorb his question/answer. Sometimes a lot longer than I used to, when I would give impulsive responses.

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[Bibliophile]

The list I compiled was derived from my readings over the years, lectures I have listened to, and my own reasons for arguing excessively. I forgot to add that we often get into an argument for emotional reasons and don’t argue very well for the same reason, we cannot regulate our emotions.

@Pete-Puma I understand what you are saying, but keeping quiet is sooooooooooooo difficult. I can’t handle silence. It must be filled. My ADHD will not allow for the pause without squirming and my thoughts shouting at me.

Also, while I rationally understand that the world is not black and white, my brain does not like this and creates order. It is through order that I have compensated for my ADHD. It is so much easier and quicker to process information if it is discrete not analog. This also helps with the impulsive behaviour. For example, I will not just run out and buy a new TV (right away at least) as I want to rationalize it and discover the “best deal”. It is the discrete world view that allows for the possibility of a best deal. I rationally know there is no best deal, but the thought prevents me from pulling the trigger too quickly. I will inevitably not follow my research and behave impulsively, but at least there was a slight pause.

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