Does ADD make us abnormally argumentative?

[Anonymous]

librarian_chef – my ADD husband drives me crazy because he has to do what you’ve described when making a big purchase. I am the impulsive one, I want it right away!

I didn’t think about the inability to regulate emotions. Part of the work with my therapist is learning how to feel my emotions. My goal is to feel one coming on and just experience it rather than unconsciously acting on it or dumping it (usually anger).

I do meditation, so am learning how to keep quiet, but it’s very hard, my mind is still quite active.

My husband enjoyed the few weeks after my double jaw surgery years ago when I wasn’t supposed to/able to talk, and I could only use a whiteboard to say what I needed to say. I learned how to be short & sweet in conversation. We both wish it had lasted longer!

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[Bibliophile]

@no_dopamine I want it too. Badly. It plagues my mind. I think about it constantly, but I know that I have to rationalize it or I will hate the result. I usually end up impulsively buying something anyway. I end up hating the result 80% of the time when I do research after the fact to check and see if the deal was good. Its a double edged coping mechanism.

Short sweet is the way to go with ADHD. To the point. Write and speak like Hemingway. No wasting of words.

As far as emotions go, I have no desire to feel my emotions. They are already too present and dominating. I’ll pass and work on regulating them so I don’t hurt others and say things I shouldn’t. If I could regulate them, I would get into far fewer arguments.

Video games are my zen and even they are not that relaxing. They have to be the right pacing though or else my stress levels actually increase. I used to bike ride to calm my brain, but find I can’t do that anymore because I need a place to go and my mind is confused if there is no purpose involved. Finding purpose is another compensation trick I have picked up, i.e. rationalizing action. Reading is not relaxing as it uses up so much energy to stay focused and the constant rereading.

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[Anonymous]

like librarian_chef, I also cannot deal with silence and will fill it. I lost interest in a boyfriend who was really good to me because he was not talkative enough. I got to know everything was there about him..then what? right? there would be silence and I would talk excessively. however, the thoughts would peter out at some point… then I would just be sitting around silent with a racing mind with nothing to do.. torture!!!!!! When I am alone, I am always doing something..whether it is just internet surfing. just sitting there with someone in silence without nothing to do or say is torture. just sitting around with someone talking can be rough sometimes. i’ve been known to get friends to go on errands with me because it can be frustrating just to sit and talk unless you have stuff to catch up on and you don’t see them often. or there is something important to say.

I started hating him and resenting him for being associated with this torture. At first we thought it was a bipolar hypomania thing and I would get over it.. however, I figured out that I wasn’t actually hypomanic. I was totally even keel on mood. i was just really really bored and frustrated. i had no idea what was going on with me. now I think I figured out that it may be an ADD thing. maybe this particular trait an ADHD thing.

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[Geoduck]

Ugh. Sucked in again. Okay, so I’m about tired of myself here. This time a family member. Totally got sucked into his whine fest (nobody knows what I do, nobody knows what I’m talking about, whine, whine, whine, pout, pout, pout). Me, mistakenly thinking that it might make him feel better if I showed interest, was just lured into an argumentative trap. Totally depressing. UGH! I figured I’d be making this person happy, but clearly, he just wants to whine. It was all on facebook. I deleted my post.

@pete-puma, I’ve tried the stare thing that you mentioned, before. I forgot about it and how well it worked. I think I need to employ it virtually. LOL!

I should know better than to feed into someone else’s whiny trap. They aren’t interested in your understanding, just your attention. Same thing goes with the argumentative trap, which in this case, was one in the same.

God I’m a sucker.

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[billd]

geoduck I’ll have to see if I can find it again – I hope I bookmarked it, otherwise, ya know, add and all…

I’ve been researching to support myself and needs at work, so was tring to find all the “supporting evidence” I could.

One might have been a government site I found………… will check.

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[Anonymous]

I have recently been wondering about this myself. I am newly diagnosed but have noticed over the years how I am very argumentive….If someone says or does something to me that hurts my feelings or makes me very angry…I tend to do away with them for good. It has to be something pretty significant. I havent’ talked to my mom in over 3 years. Have lost lots of family and friends because of this.,,I fear my marriage may be next!…..

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[Anonymous]

Bibliophile…this makes so much sense!!!….WOW…….thank you for that

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[Anonymous]

I love a good argument. Throw me in a room with a bunch of people that have a cohesive view point and I will instantly start throwing out ideas completely opposite to their group beliefs. It doesn’t matter. Religion, politics! In a room full of atheists, I will be religious. In a room full of religious people, I will argue that there is no God.

I remember as a child my mom had a friend who was very religious. I could walk into the room and have her bouncing off the ceiling with one statement.

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[billd]

Ha – lyshira sounds a lot like me!! I’d play lawyer pretty easily –

Here, this might help………

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM

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[Wgreen]

Are we argumentative? Now, why would ANYBODY think that!!?

Is the Pope German?

In addition to the reasons articulated upstream, it also may have something to do with narcissism . So perhaps it is our nature to be less deferential.

And another observation—somewhat tangential. I’ve noticed that ADDers can have problems with certain standardized exams, because they find problems, often subtle ones, with ALL of the multiple-choice answers. What these kids do—in effect— is find themselves arguing, sotto voce, with the team that wrote the exam.

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[billd]

LOL – Wgreen thank you for that!! NOW I KNOW what happened! Yes, no answer is actually totally technically correct. Each has a hole or reason it’s not totally true…… and I can’t pick the most true as they are technically all wrong.

WOW, I thought it was JUST ME!

I LOVE THIS FORUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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[Geoduck]

LOL! Wgreen. Great observation!!! I do the same thing!!! I sat and sat on the last answer on the exam once, because the test was written poorly. I walked up to my teacher, said, by process of elimination, this is the answer, but I think it’s wrong. He rolled his eyes told me to just mark it and turn it in. I did.

What was funny is that I was wrong on that one. I almost argued myself out of the right answer.

On another test I took, recently, and it was written poorly. Did I just mark the answers and move on? Nooooo! I wrote in the evaluation what was wrong with the test and why. Of course, this just pissed these people off, I’m sure. Nobody loves a smart ass, right?

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[Anonymous]

Been enjoying all your posts. There was a time ( college) I was so black and white that a close friend pointed out that everything I wore was black and white…and it was! I had not even noticed. While I still wear a fair share of B&W, I find myself trying to see the grey more now, maybe being a Mom of 3 sons, maybe maturity?. I am also a champion of the underdog. Although never championed myself when I was down.

I have always struggled with multiple choice answers as well. I would always read too much into them! Sometimes I am completely amazed that I did as well as I did with my education.

I am also interested in that other website if it can be recalled. Thanks.

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[Author]

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