Drove my psychiatrist crazy

[Anonymous]

‘Kay, second day on adderall xr, had some drinks (bad idea),first post, yada yada yada.

Hello fellow non-mellow friends, I feel I need to share the tail of my first encounter with a psychiatrist who actually “believed” in ADHD, and in short time, the ends…

Oh,and if I come off as not taking this condition seriously, then get a sense of humour, because I can guarantee you that humour is the last line of defence against the avalanche of misunderstanding that is living with undiagnosed ADHD.

Where was I?

Right, after 14 years of being told I was depressed; (I’m the most unflinching optimist you’ve never met), suffering from anxiety (ummm… who isn’t?), bi-polar (Back to psych 101 for you my dear… ever heard of the DSM?… just sayin’), schizotypal personality disordered (just because I’m paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not after me), and every other lazy diagnosis they could throw at me (including being told, after three weeks in a psych ward, that I was just REALLY sensitive… aaaawwwwwwww… ain’t I just adorable?), I have finally found the right path, the right doctor, the right way, the RIGHT ANSWER!!!

Are you ready for it? GASP!!!!! It’s ADD. Little bitter right now. As I said, 14 years of this BS. I actually pursued a failed university degree in psychology in an effort to self-diagnose (not bad, only 40 grand in the hole at this point… the good news?… I now wash dishes for 12 bucks an hour and get to pay cash for the medication that would have enabled me to become a doctor or an engineer or an author or an actor or a poet or a painter or a photographer or a chef or a mechanic or a fire-fighter or a police officer or a cowboy or an astronaut).

AnyWho, I’m gonna wrap this up, as there’s a thunderstorm happining outside, and I can’t pass up a good walk in the rain.

To date, the most gratifying experince I’ve had in my 30 years on this planet is (unintentionally) going an hour and a half beyond the alotted time (15 mins) of my initial consultation, and watching my brand new psychiatrist exhibit almost every symptom of ADHD that I was complaining of as he struggled to wrap up the appointment before his wife started calling the local hospitals to make sure he didn’t have a car wreck on the way home.

We’re talking; foot tapping, interruptions, checking the clock every 5 seconds, finishing my sentences, and encroaching on my personal space.

That said, this doctor is the most thorough, comprehensive, compassionate and caring professional I’ve ever encountered (I think he almost pee’d his pants at one point while I hummed and hawwed while staring at a penguin-shaped paper clip sitting on his desk.

Anyways, as usual, I’ve taken forever to say nothing.

Seriously though, a penguin shaped paper clip???

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[Carrie]

hahahahahaha I dont mean to laugh, but this is AWESOME humor. You sound like me when im peeved, yet still quirky. I love it! I can relate! Oh how I can relate! Well… Not the same life experiences, but the underlying frustration… Right now Im very antsy and have decided to risk it all and Im packing up and moving to the middle of no where away from everything and everyone I know, just so I can BREATH!!! UGGGH! /end_rant

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[Anonymous]

lol you have a fantastic sense of humor! that doctor sounds like me!!!

as an aside.. you are 30. your future awaits you!!!!!! the beginning is now

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[Anonymous]

I want a penguin shaped paperclip!! people remark about my rocky the squirrel (from rocky and bullwinkle) office keys and my giant box of highlighters.

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[Anonymous]

Ooohhh! Don’t get me started on stationery!! I am a sucker for a nice pen, decorative paper, sticky notes and all sorts of other stuff. My stationery collection is only rivalled by my habadashery collection (patterened elastic, coloured velcro, buttons, press studs…the list goes on….I have a wall of the stuff….talk about impulsive buying lol!!).

By the way, welcome Love your way of writing. Just my sort of humour. Reminds me of how I talk at times.

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[Curlymoe115]

My psychiatrist does not believe in ADHD in adults. You go into his office, he sits behind his desk (piled 3 feet high with file folders) and starts searching for my folder, while saying vague placeholders like “Remind me again what we said last time” and if it wasn’t for the fact that his secretary gave him a list of names with appointments he wouldn’t even know who to call. Then after 3 or 4 minutes he is able to find my file. Then while I am still reminding him he starts to read the file.

Behind his desk he has 3 more of these file piles and then a bagged lunch, shoes, umbrellas (3), and a multitude of other things. There are paths leading to the one available chair in the room, and book shelves about 6 feet off the ground filled with books and other things. So if you ever hear of a doctor buried alive in his office you will know that this is my psychiatrist. His office makes me anxious. Disorder and chaos always do. But he doesn’t believe in adult ADHD. He is also a department head and university professor at a teaching university. No wonder we never got past medication prescription to actual therapy. It was always try this, test for that. Monday I am going to beard the lion in his office. And when he starts maybe I will bring up his hoarding and ask why he does not invest in a file cabinet and allow his secretary to file all these folders. More secure for the patients, he might actually be able to find what he is looking for (he only does 6 appointments a day) and the appointments might be more productive.

Wreckedangle: Did he say you are just ADD or did he mention all of your co-morbids contribute to your problems. It’s not paranoid if people have been out to get you. Supposedly your new psychiatrist is ADD and is on medications if he recognized his own condition. Here is hoping that this is a great step in the right direction. A lot of us suffer from a whole host of co-morbid conditions which contribute to our problems. ADD and ADHD are not straight line disorders they are impairments that happen on a continuum. It is often very difficult to sort out what pieces in the pile go with what puzzle and how each mini puzzle makes up the big picture. Everyone is different. Medicating for one mini puzzle often interferes or worsens others. The brain really is the most misunderstood part of the human body and it is moderately or massively influenced and effected by nurture, nature and a host of other things. What is normal, how do you judge normal. A brain scan can tell you what areas of my brain are firing, but it can never tell you what I have been through, how I was brought up, how I will react. Don’t get discouraged if your doctor does not turn out to be the answer you were looking for. One step in front of the other.

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[Anonymous]

wreckedangle,

I just read your post. You are only 30 and if you can receive the right treatment you can finish that university degree, or do what you would like to do.

I have been on the plane 25 years longer than you and I am optimistic I can make changes. In my case it seems like everything I have done has taken so much effort. I floundered for 2 or 3 years after high school then went on to do a BA and an MBA (in 6years). I did it through endless hours of effort. As I progressed through university I had countless periods of depression and anxiety. Quite often i had to defer final exams through a doctor’s note because i was so over stressed, lack of sleep, anxiety, etc. (Acute stomach flu diagnosis always did the trick)

After graduating with my MBA I thought the world was my oyster. …. Wrong! I have had numerous jobs and through my 27 years in the work place the longest I have been in any one job is just about 5 years. Each time I start out setting the world on fire just to get laid off or phased out (nice term for fired).

I have always felt there was light at the end of the tunnel. Since university I have been treated for depression and insomnia. Finally this year I came to read a couple books and went to this website and I am learning about ADD and hoping that I can start a treatment plan that helps me smooth out this lifelong roller coaster.

I forgot to mention ADD has affected my life in so many ways. Poor relationships with family and friends. Income loss, periods of unemployment. The saving grace has been supportive family…although I have worn them out over time.

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