After watching my nephew run in circles for hours at my mothers house i commented to her how hyper that kid is. Her response was “he’s NOTHING like YOU were”. Hugh? What? She then went on to tell me how the school wanted to put me on Ritalin but she would not hear of it- they were not putting a label on her boy!! This was five months ago.
Labels? looking back I was always in trouble in school-blurting out, mouthing off, fighting, always ended up sitting beside the teacher. In my small town I still carry the labels given to people who behaved the way I did. One thing that saved me was I was intelligent – never took home books or did homework.( untill grade 12 when i new i had to get grades for admission to university, i made the honor roll with very little effort). Labels so far were- crazy genious from my peers, and “underachever” from teachers. I dont think any person was as despised by teachers and strapped/ punished as much as me. “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU” still rings in my ears, and with it a hatred of teachers.
One event that stands out in my mind occured in grade five. A friend of mine and I started a boys club called “The Bats “(because we would make tiny bats on a wood lathe for members). Many other boys wanted to join and did. To my horror i found out there was a meeting one night and I was not invited!!. The other co founder saw the look on my face and organized a meeting with the other boys on the school grounds to discuss my fate as i watched on. He was a great guy (ended up class valadictorion). He then told me i could go but everyone in the club was not happy with my behavior- he told me all my “traits” would have to be fixed- im not going to list them as they are available on any internet site about ADHD. I was crushed! I had no idea that I was viewed that way by my friends. From that point I felt “different” and tried real hard to modify my behavior- but still they persisted and my self esteem was shattered.
I will not say that I had a real horrible childhood. I was a good athlete, was hansome enough to attract girls and did have lots of friends. Im sure no one knows how hard it was me to “behave”.
About grade 8 i started to smoke cigarrettes, grade 9 alcohol and pot. Pot at least 3 times a day and drink on weekends, the pot slowed my mind down just enough to get by, i believe i would have quit school with out it.
Puburty came late for me- about grade 11. Then a real interest in girls. Quit pot and started chasing girls, promiscuity took over.
I went to university for 5 years, changed majors 3 times and never got a degree ( about a year short on 3 of them-engineering, chemistry and economics) why? Have no idea other than i was lazy??crazy?? stupid??
Married and divorced for all the reasons people with ADD do. Two great kids with a good mother.
At about the same time that my mother commented on my childhood/nephew, my ex wife said she thought my son, in grade 9, may have ADD.. “What? NO WAY!! He’s a genious! He gets good grades, never studies or takes home books and is popular! thats Not ADD, look at his cousin!! So what if he mouths off at teachers? So what if he always ends up sitting at the front of the class?? So what if he forgets things everywhere?? Hes just like I was god damn it. Thier jelous!!” was my reply.The teacher told us at P/T interviews shes never had a brighter student in her career, even if he is the most unorginised pupil she has ever seen!! (remember I had NO idea i was a hyper kid AT ALL untill 4 months ago!)
Just so happened that I came accross the PBS special at about that time. You dont know what you dont know. I cried, wept and wondered. Wondered what could of been if my mother would have given me the ritalin label, rather than the blacksheep one. Wondered if my son needed to go through the hell on earth i did. Wondered if the exorcism bullshit my catholic sister in law is putting my nephew through is warranted.
I decided i would get a complete physical from my G.P. Went back for the results armed with a brain full of knowledge on adult ADD a month later, expecting a showdown!!
To my astonishment my physical came back as healthy as a teenager- cholesteral, blood pressure etc. I laughed. My Doc said get dressed and he was about to leave. I stopped him and told him about my childhood, my thoughts and that i thought i may have adult ADD. His response?? ” We now know that about 35% of ADDers carry it into thier adulthood.” WTF no showdown?? He hummed and hawwed and set me up an appointment with a Psyc doctor.
3 months later (2 weeks ago) i have my first appt. with Psychiatrist-CRAZY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE in his office- schitzophreniacs and right fucked up people abound. Im wondereing if its all a big mistake. I’m the only “normal” one there, but i notice that the crazies say out loud collectivly what my mind is thinking. Leave or stay im thinking, I stay.
The Doc. seems to be happy that a somewhat mentally stable person is entering his office. I ask ” did you read the file my doc. sent?” he says “no, i never do”. WTF i think. Im not prepared for this!
I get asked a few questions, “did you make passing grades”, stands out.
“yes”.
“Were you ever in the principles office”.
” yes, 3 times a week”
” A year?”
” No a week”
” Were you expelled from high school”
“many times”
More questions about cigarrettes, drugs, alcohol promiscuity etc.
“How often do you get drunk?”
” 2 or 3 times a month”
“You mean a year”
” No i mean a month”
We talk about pot.
Gets quiet for a moment. I tell him i think i may have adult ADD and outline my history.
“Well if you had ADD you would never been able to pass any grade at school” he says. OMG i should have brought my old report cards and maybe my old teachers phone numbers I think. I knew it was a mistake coming here. He knows nothing of this, or I’m crazy
‘
I’m about to leave as crazy as a loon when he say’s” well we can try this”. gave me a prescription for concerta 36.
A week later every thing changed, i mean everything.
For me the anger and hatred is gone. I can focus at work, find myself thinking before i blurt out, or talk as i used to say. The old thoughts are there but in the back of my mind. My mind has slowed down to where i can handle it. I could go on.
Back at the Psychiatrsts office a week later I realise he was asking me many stupid questions all along to qualify me. He then told me stories of many other adults hes treating after years of torment. he is going to up my prescription next visit to see if it gets better. Truth is Ive never had a better two weeks in my life.
My son is going to be tested next week by a child pschiatrist. My hope is he gets to be the person i might have been.
I hope we can pull my nephew out of that exorcism bullshit in time.
Thanks (and sorry for the spelling)
REPORT ABUSE
very happy for you!!!!