Go public, or keep it a secret?

[Anonymous]

There is something that you might find helpful. There is a program called kurzweil. It is a text to speech program. It is really unbelievable. You may be able to access it if you go to a University that offers Academic Support if they have the program. The school that I went to did have it. I got trained in it because I wanted to know more about it. I did not use it that much. You can highlight text, take notes, on the computer.

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[Anonymous]

Thank- you I’ll check the program out!

K

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[Anonymous]

Hi,

I just reviewed something interesting that probably would be a “good idea” to look at it is a posting under “What is it?” called “TED Talks; The Power of Vulnerability” it is a Youtube link that may make the Idea of “Going Public” a bit easier. Check it out!

K

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[Carrie]

ADHDplus – you saying “I know what information to hunt for and I go on an expedition to find it” reminds me of when I was in elementary. I never read of course (since took forever and we all know why) but every novel study we did (we had about 4 in a semester) I aced without reading a single novel. I knew what the teachers wanted, I knew how to find it and got my good mark. Only work in elementary mind you hahaha

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[Anonymous]

I am outing it …… Not sure how yet………. or to what extent.

I kinda guess I understand why some would chose not too and I respect your wishes. So do not worry, your secrets are safe. That said I have informed many a persons to visit this site so just be aware there are many new people here checkin us all out……..

Seriously though….. My “own” belief…… the more persons that become informed and educated the better. Sure not everyone is going to accept and believe as I about ADHD. Heck others may be so uninformed, uneducated or even trained not to believe even ADHD exists no matter what I do to try to make change “it just ain’t gonna happen’. That said, today more then ever people are salivating to gain information (look at all the devices of higher education that are advertising on TV to enroll students at there institutions to make money for the educators/administration board of directors)…… I mean educate potential students so they might be afforded a better life or to create a better world.

ADHDers are not born with a sign attached to themselves that says “I have “ADHD” to understand me please educate yourselves about it”. Sub title “then maybe we all will get along” ……. I have been directly or indirectly abused because of the syndrome of ADHD and I would not want anyone to have to go through what I have gone through in my lifetime (or others around me that have been the brunt of my ADHD)…… That said I am tired of the blame game. It is a time for action!!! My weapon is going to be education. Continuous knowledge gathering and exporting to those ill-informed about it or those quenching there thirst to sip more about it.

Again I am not sure how this is going to all play out as I yet to creat a “plan” BUT did I say BUT I will. Oh, and because of all the stimulation i exposed my self to prior to creating this post that is not continuous I am gonna stop now(as I have become educated that my fix is only temporary and I often become frustrated and aggrevated when others do not see the same light at the end of the tunnel as I) before I really go off the deep end and tell u all U WILL FOLLOW MY PLAN OR ELSE lol lol hehehe…..

I really LUV totallyadd.com being part of my tools to freedom from a life of complete chaos…….

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[nellie]

njadd,

Funny you brought this up today ( for me that is) because I just happened to be thinking about telling a friend of mine I don’t see often because she moved away about it this morning. She’s coming to visit and I considered if I should hide all the ADD books strewn about.

Anyway to avoid making this any longer than need be, let me just say I came to the following conclusion. What the hell for? I figure if on the spur of the moment I disclose and she judges me negatively then so be it. But on the other hand I don’t think I really need to justify my character traits to anyone anymore than the supposedly “normal” ones need to find a reason to explain why they behave as they do. I know lots of supposedly normal people who behave like complete jerks and yet never feel compelled to change or explain their behavior.

From now on all I need to disclose to anyone is that I am generally kind, a creative thinker, flexible ( previously called impulsive) and thereby can adapt to many situations, easily see a the picture potential of things, and focus on the important things in life ( ie no time to sort boring closets and stuff!) Now who needs to apologize for that?!

I think unless we’ve done something that actually hurt someone, I don’t think we need to justify why we are the way we are. Granted if people live with you it’s helpful if they know but, as I’ve said in another thread, my own husband even thinks it’s all bunk despite professional evaluation. So I’ve decided I’m not going to waste my valuable energy. Instead I’m going to focus on doing the best I can and try to be “present” and acting consciously. Seems to me that’s more aware than most people you meet.

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[Carrie]

Nellie – To your comment “the supposedly “normal” ones need to find a reason to explain why they behave as they do” this part I have a hard time grasping. All this time I have been struggling to get things right and be “normal” and couldnt figure why I was unable to, now I know why and can make changes. What baffles me is why the “normal” ones without ADD dont do the things we are trying to do when they can. Does that make sense? Ive had to rewrite this thing a million times to try and get it out right. ugh!!

The “normal” ones who are jerks, or lazy, or whatever bad things dont try to change when they have the willpower to do so, or can sit down see point A and B and the steps in between and understand but not do them! I can see point A and B but even with the steps in between laid out for me, I STILL dont get it!

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[nellie]

Carrie, I guess I worded it funny. What I mean is no one who is , well actually forget calling anyone normal. We are normal, we just think different Anyway, lets say non-ADD people instead.

Generally speaking these people may recognize that what they have done isn’t the most efficient let’s say, let alone something mean, inconsiderate or what have you, yet don’t feel compelled to seek a way to explain it. We on the other hand when we find out it’s ADD, seem to be obsessed with finding an explanation and vindication and wanting everyone to else to know too. I think if that’s the motivation for explaining it to others it may be rather un-necessarily draining of our energy resources.

I think it’s a great awakening but now that I know, like you, I also still find myself repeating less than efficient behavior. I see what you mean with

“…they have the willpower to do so, or can sit down see point A and B and the steps in between and understand but not do them!”

Puzzling huh? But maybe it goes to show us that part of changing any behavior involves changing the perception we have of our abilities in the first place.

I would love to have a dollar for every time I saw or heard of someone who is doing something ( ie something lucrative) when quite frankly they really don’t have the proper training or authority ( as in knowledge) to be doing whatever it is. Confidence is everything and It really is a little red-engine world sometimes!

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[Anonymous]

I don’t feel it should be any different than a diabetic being open about their diabetes or whatever. A while ago when I was on Ritalin, I just matter of factly would take my next dose at my desk when it was time (and I remembered Every so often someone would notice and then we’d have a discussion. Most of the time it was cool. But then there was one place where the CEO had most of the ADHD characteristics… and well… I succommed to peer pressure and stopped taking meds regularly for many, many years.

My $0.02 is that you only need to go public (i.e. broadcast to others, etc.) is if there are people who you care about and they care about you… and they might want to know Another reason would be cases for some people that need some sort of accomodations in an environment that they share (i.e. work, family home, etc.). Otherwise… I not be secretive about it and just address issues as they come up.

That being said…. there’s NOTHING WRONG with broadcasting to the world you have ADHD. Some of us feel compelled instinctually (something about impulsivity).

I’d better stop rambling…. its just what it is, I guess…..

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[Anonymous]

If a person wants to disclose they have ADHD or not I beleive it is a personal prerogative. I am not outing anyone other than myself…… I hope in doing so I will educate others about ADHD…. I am living with it everyday… And because of lack of knowledge and the stigmas attached to it I have been ashamed in not disclosing it in the past and when I finally did I was chastised, laughed at or told to just move on “it’s just you”.

Yeah it is “just me ” but again because of lack of education and knowledge I did not even know what ADHD was! What it was all about. What attibutes of the disability I had and how it effected me and those around me! Because of that stigma I have gained great loss more than at this time I will disclose but will ABSOLUTELY eventually as again I strongly believe others have as through this website, other support venues including 3 counsellors (1 Phd) have and will continue to because of lack of knowledge and understanding about ADHD… …..

Just to throw a wrench …What would things be like if spousal abuse was not disclosed.. How might we have progressed if spouses pictures of the abuse had not been publicized… and so on. It is sad… how many people still do not accept spousal abuse takes place in this country or think it is ok to abuse someone… Hmmm what about abuse to a man. Can a man be abused by a woman… What is abuse?.. Does someone knowing there spouse has or professionally suspects there partner has ADHD and uses the deficits and disabilities against the other spouse for there personal gain? Is that not abuse?

As far as the impullsiveness of the outing….. If a plan was created would that substantiate the outing? A legitimate plan like that here on totallyadd.com but brought to the people in a different venue….. I do not think PERSONALLY that it is a bad thing….. Heck what do I know I have ADHD and yeah “it is just me” and how I am……..

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[Carrie]

Nellie – “We on the other hand when we find out it’s ADD, seem to be obsessed with finding an explanation and vindication and wanting everyone to else to know too.”

Your right. I dont waste my time with that. I do however like to find out why people do the things they do. Psychology has ALWAYS been a passion of mine. Though I dont know much about it, but I love to watch humans and their behaviors, find out what makes them tick. I always search for why I do the things I do and how I can change it. Its never easy and I always felt that I was missing something and couldnt pin point it. I dont look to ADD as an excuse by any means. Your right, thats just a waste of time, you get no where with that.

But I just never could understand when others are faced with a fault, and know how to overcome, but choose not to when they have the wiring to do so (my A to B example). When people like us try frantically try to change these things but with our chemistry can not! Yes it hurts to change and its never easy, but doesnt that far out weigh the pain? Im not perfect, but im willing to look at where my motives and hurt comes from to overcome where others dont even dare to tread!

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[nellie]

Carrie

In terms of those who should examine themselves and don’t ,despite having the mental architecture to make it easy so to speak, then I guess it’s just that motivation, or rather the lack thereof, is not unique to ADD. I guess stuff has to be bad enough to really bother you on a daily basis in order to motivate you to seek help.

Even without any official psychological issues, people all have their own little issues, belief systems etc that they are programmed with which comes into play in how they function in their daily lives.

That and it’s always easy to see what other people should do because we don’t have the same emotional attachment as they do to their beliefs and fears. I know I’m really good at that ( telling others what they should do) !!

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[Carrie]

hahahaha! yes! of course! You are exactly right!

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[Anonymous]

Funny thing, or maybe not so funny. When I told my doctor, the one who referred me for testing, that I was confirmed ADHD, he replied something like, “Oh, I don’t think so.” Then I had a hard time convincing him to let me try medication, even though the psychologist was really for me trying a pharmaceutical approach. The psychologist did mess up his written report by suggesting that I should see a pharma psychologist for a suitable medication but when I asked him about that he verbally clarified that, “your doctor or a pharma psychologist can get you started.” I told my doctor that and asked him to call my clinician for verification, at which point he caved in and agreed to try me on methylphenidate.

I’ve worked with dozens of ADHD children and adults in my work, always confident in the back of my mind that I was one of them. I have met so many people who still dismiss ADHD as an imaginary problem that I’m a little careful with how I present it. Now, with a diagnosis under me, I feel more confident sharing the info but will have to use some filters to not reveal to the wrong crowd. There are certain individuals in my workplace, supervisors, who I could see using the info as a reason to hold me down. i hate to say that but I have to be honest.

My mom never accepted that I could be ADHD, but she was very old school. Before she died, she was starting to come around to believing that I was right and added that maybe she always had it too, along with other family members. That’s one of the best reasons for talking about it is, it may lead to others finding solutions for themselves. Anyway, just wanted to add my two cents….

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[nellie]

Has anyone noticed that the privacy settings on this site are messed up and now every member’s full name and age in addition to the location are disclosed when you click on a name? Haven’t been on the site for a few days but could swear it wasn’t like that the last time I checked. The forum doesn’t have its usual “look” either so I assume there’s a problem with the site in general.

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[Author]

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