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How does one get caught up in life so you can start "fresh"?

How does one get caught up in life so you can start "fresh"?2010-02-15T18:44:55+00:00

The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! My Story How does one get caught up in life so you can start "fresh"?

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    Post count: 14413

    So I’m not diagnosed, and don’t care to take meds. I think that if I can get caught up, formulate a good system of organization and keep distractions to a minimum, then I can tackle this on my own.

    Money is terrible, I’m behind on taxes and bookkeeping and am terrible at paying my bills

    my house is a disaster … my excuse is that I have no where to put everything, but I’m a packrat and everything I find can be “crafted” in some way maybe to sell down the line.

    we’re having a baby in April and OMG this house is NOT ready for a kid

    the garden, left to me to work, is also a disaster every year and much of the food ends up going to waste

    ironically I’m an event coordinator … the week before the show is always chaos and I barely get everything done … generally I’m off somewhere finishing a sign or something that I should have gotten done earlier. the girl taking over for me when I go on mat leave I’m afraid will be much better and no one will want me back … this year, the show is two weeks after my due date so I have to get everything done well in enough time … ARGH!

    … but I’m not sure I want to go back. I’d like to make a living from home but can’t get anything done … lots of plans and too far behind on life in general to start anything new, not that that has stopped me

    I’m supposed to finish painting the babies room … its 1:30 now and I should have started at like 9 am this morning … I’m thinking a cup of tea before I start would be nice, but thats just to waste more time.

    my husband is SUPER smart and tolerates my messiness and scatterbrainedness … but I need to get my sh*t together .. I can’t expect him to live in my chaos forever. a little is ok but this is rediculous.

    so, where does someone start? how can I get caught up? I wish someone could just pick me up and place me “on top” of everything so I can start from there instead of having to climb this crazy mountain.

    … so I started the kettle.. maybe something to eat and a little facebook while I wait for the water to boil and bagel to pop (I could be cleaning the kitchen or something else useful before I start but just can’t make myself do it) … see what I mean?

    any tips for a newbie drowning in life? (I do put on a good show, people don’t know I struggle like I do)


    Post count: 121

    Um, one thing at a time? Small steps?

    There is a really good book titled “ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life” by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau, published by Brunner Routledge.

    Kolberg is a professional organizer and Nadeau is a well know ADD clinician who has published many books on ADHD. They have specifically targeted the organization morass we ADHD types find ourselves in. Very helpful and worth looking for.

    Still available, I got my copy about six months ago at Chapters.

    Hope this helps…


    Post count: 14413

    Trillian, its great that you came here for support. I’d suggest maybe writing everything down on individual pieces of paper then organize them in terms of priority.The act of writing them down will help drain your brain so to speak and the act of moving them around physically into order of importance may help you to feel in control of what is seemingly overwhelming.

    Clear the kitchen table off and have fun writing them out and shuffling them around. You may just find that something you found to be overwhelming, may in fact be insignificant (or at least low priority) after all! Those ones that mean nothing when written down and in front of you finally (as opposed to whipping around the inside of your head like a tornado) you can scrunch up and toss over your shoulder in a symbolic gesture of dismissal.

    I dunnow. Hopefully it helps a little?


    Post count: 14413

    DEAR TRillian,

    Just read your post…..It’s soo me!…. you know to have ADD and don’t want to take meds…..(I just get out of my doctor office…I will begin (again) to take meds! because my younger kid need it too!….

    make something good for yourselves, go check with a doctor who know about ADD), don’t wait like myself until my kids had trouble to learn at school, to find out that is also ADD (since its genetic!)….

    ANd it can bring you to nervous breakdown, depression if it’s not taking care of…well, I’m talking for me anyway….So..just go take a look at a specialist…not much to do…but a lot to save….

    And for your baby to come…it is also another “thing- to- organise” and to take care of….It could only get worse….

    And it’s worth it ..you know for that precious baby to come!

    Good luck! ♥


    Post count: 14413

    Get diagnosed. There are many possibilities that look like ADHD and some of them could

    be bad for you and baby so you need accurate diagnosis as quickly as possible. The first

    thing you should do is ask for an appointment to see if you have ADHD and get treatment

    if you do. There’s usually a wait so you should do it first before anything else.

    Don’t be afraid of meds. When they work [ and they usually do ] you won’t want to go back

    to the chaos and stress you are going through right now and you sure won’t miss it. Even while

    pregnant it is likely that you can work out a plan that’s safe for baby while helping you too.



    While you’re waiting for that first appointment, shrink that mountain of todo lists by delegating

    more tasks and only keeping the ones nobody else can do. Coordinate people instead of

    tasks and all the work will get done in time for you to fine tune the results with time to spare.

    A coordinator doesn’t do the work and fall behind, they decide who does and when they do it.

    Don’t forget to assign work to the people who hired you. They tend to be the best volunteers

    because it’s their show, after all, and they’re already invested in getting it done.

    Gardening is not one of our strong suits so leave it to others until you get better at managing

    more important things, like your ADHD and the bills. Hand off extra unscheduled things like

    painting house or doing taxes to hubby too, or at least do them together. As the coordinator

    of your household you can put him to work and he’ll tend to be the best volunteer too.



    If the house tends to be a clutter pack up everything you can live without [this season] and get

    those boxes out of sight. Less stuff to organize and clean may not solve the clutter completely

    but when you can clean up in an hour instead of taking all day it tends to get done more often

    and becomes less of a distraction. It changes your home from a chore factory to a comfort zone.

    This is especially true if you work from home. Simplicity at home will pay off big in many ways.

    A side benefit of such a plan is you get to raid your supply every once in awhile and flip the

    whole house or a room at a time into new modes when you feel like it and when it’ll be fun.


    Post count: 14413

    How do I find a doctor in the Toronto area that I can get referred too?


    Post count: 14413

    Trillian… it sounds like we’re in the same spot right now! I’m hoping to get on meds though – treatment for chronic depression has been a true lifesaver for me, so I really expect the ADD med to make a difference too. Meds are scary before you try them, most people worry they’ll be ‘different’; I found that I’m just a happier me, and I figure the ADD ones will just sweep the cobwebs away from my brain, not change it :) Still… I’m trying to function too, and though I’m still tripping all over my feet, I’ll share the bits that are working :)

    I use LOTS of checklists, and when I don’t lose them ;oP they do help a lot. I have a big dry erase board beside my front door, and like 5 calenders around the house (one for personal stuff, one for school stuff, one for pet stuff, one to track when the leftovers were actually made…etc). They sell them at the dollar store in all sizes and people seem to think I just like the pictures ;) I always carry a pen and make lots of notes on my hands. I tape really important “to dos” to the TV screen. I also use index cards that fit in the check part of my wallet. The hubby is a big part of my memory too; he’s starting to learn what I’m most likely to forget. I also ask good friends and my mom to remind me of the important stuff (texting is great for that!), or even to “come talk to me while I work” if it’s something like chores or shopping — it’s fun to visit and it actually forces me to do what I told them I was going to do. A good day planner is great… again when I don’t lose it ;oP Buy a brightly colored one so it’s easier to find and make it a good size to carry everywhere (it’s basically a brain stand-in) — spend the $ for one you really, really like because it’ll help you to remember it. I have like 8 copies of all my important keys, and my hubby and parents also have copies, since I lose them so often it hurts. Oh, and coming up with stuff like “if I do _____ then I will reward myself with _____” sometimes helps too, since you’ll tend to remember the fun thing more.

    I just joined this forum and I’m stoked to have other people who are going through the junk I am… I feel SO alone most of the time!! I have a high IQ but most people think I’m an idiot, and that HURTS!




    Post count: 2


    I hope you are enjoying that new baby of yours :)

    9 months ago Eric asked, “How do I find a doctor in the Toronto area that I can get referred too?” You might find this info helpful too, Trillian.

    If you don’t already have a diagnosis, get in touch with the Ontario Bilkey ADHD clinics. Dr. Timothy Bilkey is one of the foremost adult ADHD doctors around and acts as mentor for the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons in Ontario.

    His website is http://bilkeyadhd.com and he has offices in Barrie and Stratford. I called two nights ago and already have the appointments set up for assessment, beginning the first week in January 2011.

    You don’t need a referral from a family physicial as Dr. Bilkey’s office takes care of contacting your family physician, assuming you have one – a lot of people don’t these days. You will need a family doc to oversee any treatment program recommended by Dr. Bilkey’s office.

    His office administrator, Sandra, explains everything when you call. Good luck.



    Patte Rosebank
    Post count: 1517

    Are the Bilkey Clinic’s services entirely covered by OHIP, or should people expect to pay several hundred dollars out-of-pocket?

    What if you already have a diagnosis, but your psych has had to purge patients, and you are one of the purged? Will you still have to get the full diagnosis from Dr. Bilkey?


    Post count: 14413

    I would also like to know if it’s covered under OHIP or private insurance…

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