I was married to a chronically ill man..he had diabetes with many late onset complications and had the typical, “I’m sick, so no one else is as bad off as me so you have not excuse” mentality you often see with people who have certain long term illnesses… Anyway. I’d married him, moved to Norway where he was from (socialized medicine was the main reason for moving)…was pregnant with our first child when he had a stroke..mild in one way(little observable damage), devastating in another way because his personality changed dramatically for the worse, he couldn’t read and forgot everything about his field..computers/graphics.
Before and after our second child, I was working about an 80% job doing text book layout, plus helping him with his business at times. He was on disability, we had two kids and he was getting worse, with kidney failure, more strokes, amputations etc… I was finding it hard to keep up with everything, and even put myself last all the time…I felt exhausted, burnt out, depressed etc.. yet one day he comments to me, “why can’t I be like other normal women and handle a full time job, house, kids etc.?”.not to mention taking care of him and his extra needs and keep my sanity!
I didn’t know I was ADD at the time….most people just chalked off my state to depression and situational stress. It’s amazing how much comments like that from someone close can rip deep into the soul and make one feel like crap, yet everyone around me saying ‘we’re amazed your still standing and coping’ doesn’t undo the damage done by one somewhat mentally unstable husband!
I am betting, were he alive today, he would tell me it was just a matter of making up my mind and changing….he used to say the same about headaches…just ‘think it way’! I don’t think he would believe in ADD, though I suspect he may have had ADHD tendencies as a kid. It was hard to know when he was so sick though, what caused what by the time I knew him.
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what you described is not do-able for anyone, ADD or not. i could see that ADD would make it even more of an unmanageable situation.