i'm never actually going to amount to anything, am i?

[nellie]

Here’s an interesting book in regards to following through (something that the oh so less creative/intelligent/whatever people seem to have that we don’t ) : The Follow-Through Factor: Getting from Doubt to Done by Gene C. Hayden.

I haven’t finished it yet ( OK NOBODY LAUGH!!) but one of the things that she says is that people who don’t get to where they want to go often can’t make a decision – expecting they have to make the perfect one. Her premise is just make one. It doesn’t matter in the end. Just pick something. Doctor or Lawyer, medical secretary or pet detective? New York or LA? Just do one and stop wavering. Your not likely to be more happy with one or the other. Ok so like I said I haven’t finished the book and there must be more to it than that but it is an interesting read.

Her personal story factors into it. You can read the introduction and first few pages online here:

http://www.amazon.com/Follow-Through-Factor-Getting-Doubt-Done/dp/1439216010

Ok so now think I’ll go find my copy and start reading it again and if I can’t find it will download the Kindle version and finish the darn thing!!

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[Anonymous]

yeah, i don’t want to be the best ‘whatever’, ever… i’d just like to manage to get up and go to work at a job, and come home, and make dinner, go to sleep, etc, and help pay the bills.

i don’t want a mansion, i’d be happy in a 1 bedroom apartment- i don’t even want cable, or new things, i just wanna be able to afford a plane ticket to go and see my mum. i just don’t want to feel disappointed in myself any more.

i know i’m too hard on myself, but i really don’t want to make the perfect decisions, i just wanna follow through on basic acheiveable goals, like ‘fill in job application online’ or ‘make appointment to see careers advisor’ or ‘wash dishes before they’ve been there a week and the boyfriend has given you the disapointed look 6 times’. taking 3 weeks of stalling and faffing about to just tidy up my resume-… thats pathetic. i rewrote the entirely of boyfriends one in less than 2 hours today.

……….but apparently the whole life-‘lite’ thing is not doable for me either. all i seem to be good at today is avoidance, moaning, excuses and self-pity.

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[billd]

nellie – that’s sort of interesting. My son had been at his new job only about a year – less, when they moved him up into a new position as trouble-shooter. Now 1 year and 5 months later, they are moving him up and OVER other people into management/supervisory role.

Big reason? His ability to make decisions! They flat out told him that. Didn’t matter if he made a wrong one now and then – the fact he made desicions, saw trouble, acted upon it, came up with ideas, went to the boss with them, etc they loved. So in a new job in a huge corporation, he’s moving up in under 2 years from a graphic designer doing flash ads for web sites to management in the company… and more later.

He does not have ADD, etc. – his younger brother DOES.

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[nellie]

Jen I can sympathize with how you feel, been there when picking one thing to do “today” seemed like one to many. The worst is when that one thing is something for your job! But seriously the only way I ever got anything done was by doing SOMETHING. Anything, doesn’t matter what. Put your shoes in the closet for all it matters, but somehow by starting momentum it keeps building. I Don’t want to sound harsh, but just moaning about it won’t get it done so what have you got to lose? I’m sure you just want sympathy and I really am sympathetic, but it won’t get anyone off the couch:-) Remember that old DR Laura mantra ( never mind that she’s the least sympathetic person ever!)?: “Now go take on the day!”

But all that said, the thing that really got my momentum going was getting the ADD meds right. And for the record I’m not an overachiever yet either but am only just slowly getting things together.

And one more thing: if you say “want” to fill in a job application online, among other things, but don’t – why not? Perhaps the clue ( assuming you are not dealing with deep depression – in which case seek medical help fast) is in answering that question. Challenge yourself and do fill in that application. Even if it takes you all week.

Can you tell I’m a mom of teenagers ? If you are rolling your eyes right now I can tell…..

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[nellie]

billd, just saw your post –

So true, i’ve seen it in job situations too. Someone has to take a leadership role and essentially decision making is a large part of that and is a trait that exudes personal confidence. Who wants to follow someone who can’t make up their mind in a crisis?! Not to mention you can’t move forward in business or in your personal life without making a decision to change the status quo.

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[Anonymous]

i’m not rolling my eyes. it’s true. i avoid my stuff cos my self esteem is shit and it’s easier to focus on other people. anyway, todays reading: http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/Procrastination%20Module%204_Dismissing%20Excuses.pdf

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[nellie]

hey Jen those pdfs look interesting, just downloaded all 7 of them! My dilemma: I think I could just be doing some

of the stupid boring crap on my list instead of reading them

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[Anonymous]

I love that CCI website!!!!!!! free, relevant, easy to read, and actually based on sound CBT theory.

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[Anonymous]

yeah, it’sbrilliant. i did a group therapy course last year that worked around a lot of those sheets. really good stuff.

anyway: suspiciously impressive acheivement levels for the jen today. i worked out my interveiw clothes, had breakfast, made a phonecall i’d been avoiding, fixed up my resume to perfection, applied for a job online, went and got a pre- interveiw haircut, came back home, applied for 4 more jobs online, and then made and ate some dinner. thats about a weeks worth of usual acheivement. baby steps.

i’m probably gonna try and apply for something else tomorrow, and/or make an appointment to see an employment finding help type person. hopefully.

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[nellie]

Way to go jen!!!

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[Anonymous]

good job!!! that is a ton of stuff!

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[Anonymous]

nobody gave me a job yet *waits impatiently*. i followed up already.

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[Samantha Em]

Wow. Lots of words. Forgive me for not reading everything before commenting.

You have to keep plugging away because you never know when that something will CLICK. For me, with the right help I know I can be famous, and by your description of unfinished creative projects, I suspect the same is true for you.

I can’t promise it will ever happen, even with all the effort in the world, but without that effort (as stop-and-go as that effort may be) then it will never happen.

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[Anonymous]

Adrienne508- I can totally relate to you when you say you hold yourself to a very high expectation and unreasonable. I am constantly comparing my self to my younger sister and what she has achieved since graduating from college two years ago. I constantly want to get a better job, make more money, and get promoted like she has in her short career. I just remember that I am an individual and that we cannot be the same person. I am lucky to have a mom who teaches adults with add/adhd so she totally understands my tendencies/my need to go go all the time.

@Jeneticallymodified I can also relate to you because I constantly get distracted I have add-inattentive type I cannot stay focused one thing and see it through for the life of me or sometimes I focus so much on one thing that is all I can think about… my mom calls is perseverating. You will find your nitch and succeed in life!!

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[Anonymous]

thanks. i flipping better find it soon.

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[Author]

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