I'm new here.. dealing with new normal.

[amountainmama]

Hello Andreaaaaaaah!!!
Had to chuckle. I finally changed to my nickname Andi! LOL That was exactly how I was always called. By teachers, parents, the bus driver.
My brother just called me stupid pooh.
Sure enough I found myself calling for my middle son C.J. more like CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJ!! or SEIGE!!!!!!! He was the one so fortunate to inherit my genes.
I will write more later. Just finally got my username and password strait and can now join in, but for now, just had to say first, “Thank you Soldier”
and I so hear ya!

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[andreaaaaaah]

Thank you Harry. That was some real truth and heart. I even got a tear in my eye. Seriously, from comfort. Been battling some self esteem and self worth issues for some time, like so many.. Man, its really dumb to me because I know its just lies I don’t need to believe about myself. Blah ti da! So anyway, I’ve been kicking my cares to the curb more and more but I want so much to find a way to help the kids of today who I see suffer with the same stuff we did/do so they don’t waste time feeling crappy about themselves and believing they aren’t capable of more. My 4th grade teacher once told me I was the most “challenging” student he had. He only told me that years later at a funeral of another teacher. I was so very shocked to know I was that much of a disruptive kid until I started working at an elementary school and instantly related to the children who were assigned a para because of their ADHD or related struggles and saw his perspective. Its hard to take school seriously when you’re a kid.. you go because you have to..If I had honestly known I was causing stress to that teacher, I would’ve tried harder to be better. I really never could just blend in the background. Something was always funny or ..the running fan in the projector just really seemed tempting to stick my ruler in during the middle of a math lesson. Why? I was just sooo curious what that was inside this machine .. yeah.. I still wonder why I did that. I remember the look on that teacher’s face that time! WOw! He had to of thought I did that on purpose! I’m soo fortunate I didn’t go to a Catholic school or I would’ve been hit with that same ruler, I’m sure!

Who else did stupid things when they were a kid just because.. and now are kind of relieved that kids are addicted to technology or they would probably be doing some of the same things causing worse damage. Like smashing mailboxes.. I never did that crap but I know people who did. I don’t know that last time I have heard of anyone getting their mailboxes smashed in by teens. Why? because teens just stare at a screen now.. Bad and good! 🙂 Ok bye for now. All of you are so awesome!

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[harry1]

Andreaaaaaah,
Thank you for that, but, no one here is any more awesome than yourself.
I got into numbers and statistics for some unknown reason, and it’s sometimes eye-opening to think about.
Last time around, our President was elected by 51% of the vote. That seems colossal until you remember that LESS than 50% of the population voted. He was elected by about 20% when you see that.
The AVERAGE is, by definition, the total of the whole divided by the number of the whole.
If 25% of the population are overachievers, and the trailing 25% are real pond algae, then only 50%of the population is average.
If that “average is in control, they are telling ONE FULL HALF of the population that, good or bad, that half doesn’t count.
Mark Twain said there are three kinds of liars: there are Liars; thee are DAMNED Liars, and there are statistics.

The overachiever in a machine shop puts out more parts of better quality than the average worker. Let’s call it 90 out of 100, because nobody is perfect.
The underachiever produces 20; and the true average guy makes between 40 and 60.
The average guy wants the overachiever to cut back. Why? Because the overachiever makes him look bad, and the “trophy” will go to that overachiever.
Rather than go out and put himself through classes and look for advanced experience ON HIS OWN TIME in order to better his skills and abilities, he will instead gather the rest of his 50% crowd, and tell the company and union, and public in general that it’s UNFAIR that this person produces more. They have an “unfair Advantage of some sort, and they should hold back and produce less, so the “average” LOOKS (not is) better.
The company loses production, but the average wants higher wages this year because the workers are producing average results, but LOOKS as if they are doing their best, even though they have not sold the extra product that Could have been produced by the over achiever, and therefor have less profitability.

I put all of this here just to show ONE of the ways statistics and “averages” can get twisted around.

They give trophies to kids for standing on the ground as if they overcame gravity and spontaneously fly. That’s not nonsense.
That’s what my parents would have called criminal stupidity.
You are teaching that they will be rewarded if they DON’T try, and will be ignored or chastised if they DO !! Say: “entitlement”.
Tha ADDer may be in the upper, middle or lower brackets, depending on the severity of the individual (NOT AVERAGE!) affliction, but, if he wants something different, then he has to DO something different to get there, and asking Bob to do It isn’t going to help Him.
We are completely normal for people with add. Just as a veteran who suffers PTSD is , indeed, “Normal” for a person who has gone through all that.
I appreciate the providence that brought me to this site. A place where we build each other up, while trying to not let ourselves beat us down. Which, as you know , we are prone to do.
You have survived in the face of odds for this many years. That’s worth some self pride by itself.
You have your man who loves you. And did from the get-go. And unless you’re paying him for it, then, you too, have the love of someone who owes you nothing. And THAT Andreaaaaaah, is worth being proud of. He saw Something in you that was SO cool, It outweighed anything else.
You are alright in my book, so be proud of that too. I really don’t give that away for nothin.
Harry1

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[harry1]

Andreaaaaaah,
If you’re still out there, I have a question about drug sensitivity and agent orange, if you happen to hear anything from the va
I have had a sensitivity to various solvents, gasses, chemicals, etc. ever since I came back from overseas.
I was told once it was an effect of agent orange, and I wonder if it might affect how my system reacts to various meds.
Happen to hear anything?
Harry1

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[andreaaaaaah]

Hey Harry! Meant to respond sooner but I’ve been out of town, and then returned to great gardening weather. Soooo its very easy for me to forget about anything social media related for weeks at a time! Great stuff you wrote there, Harry. 🙂 And thanks so much! Life is an adventure and so much fun and lovely if we choose to just keep dwelling on the GOOD things..making the very best of the circumstances and trying to be purposeful etc! For sure!! Potter’s wheel– yes! That’s so very true!

Sooo…I gotta keep it short tonight but I wanted to address your agent orange question because I have watched my dad’s skin just go haywire all over making it very uncomfortable and annoying for him. He has had skin scrapings and nasty tar concoctions prescribed to him to try to help it and all with no luck. Recently though, its looking good! He DID just start a new diet though.. I never even considered food reaction flare up. Duh…You could be onto something. I will be picking his brain about this soon. Wow. Could it be something so very simple??? I just hate to think of all the others out there suffering with similar conditions and even worse–like the people who had to live in it and all their extreme deformities. I really gotta get back on the google because there is probably a crap ton more info out there since I last did my little bit of “research”. I will be back on soon to tell you what I find out from my dad. Has the VA tried doing anything for you with it?

Anyway…My dad seems to

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[andreaaaaaah]

When my dad was under the knife the first time after a series of heart attacks, the doctors discovered heart deformities and such that could only be linked to agent orange exposure. then of course he has the skin flare ups since as far back as I could remember. My uncle, who handled the stuff from an air force plane ended up having very similar stuff going on inside his heart and skin, and later died. If you have skin flare ups than it is very possible you could have deformities like they did inside you as well. My uncle and dad only found out the hard way..after major heart attacks. Just take the best possible care of yourself? Its a sucky thing. I will get back to you more but I do believe there is a way the VA can measure how much is in your body. Do you go to your local VA?

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[andreaaaaaah]

And thanks again for all the kind and inspiring words! Seriously.. thanks!

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[harry1]

Hi, Andreah,
Thanks for getting back to me.
The circumstances we find ourselves in change every day. Sometimes we can do something with them, sometimes not. But you can ALWAYS laugh at it. Or with it. Or in spite of it.
Never realized how much spite I had in me…
Would you know what the basis of your dads new diet is? I have managed to get through with only small skin problems for the most part, but I’d be very interestedted in hearing about diet.
I do like to stay with natural changes rather than medications, because, for starters, my mother tended to be a hypochondriac, and ate aspirin and such by the handful. Ick.
As a veteran, I’ll share a story, and keep it short.
When in Nam, my battalion (infantry) went from Phu Bai to Danang to hold security when the Marines were standing down.
It happened I had a crud growing on my lower leg, but “Hey, they got medics, right?”
I wind up with this Navy Doctor, and I said I think it’s junglerot, but it looks funny.
Now, you need to know that at Danang, there’s a clinic for “Hanson’s disease”.
This doc takes a scraping, and say, be right back.
I’m sitting on the table in the medics when he comes back, and says, I kid you not:
“I don’t know how to tell you this, but you have leaprosy.”
I’m 20 years old, in the best physical condition of my life, leaned back on my hands on this table….
My field of view turned powder gray all around the edges, and shrank to where I could only see his face, and then started to come back.
This jerk laughs, and says, really you have jungle rot and ringworm in the same place on your leg.
And I’m sitting here just looking at him.
And the Captain moved away from the Army guy on the table. I think he was frightened.
I didn’t know if I should kiss this guy or kick his ass hard enough to get him aboard ship.

Anyway…
I’ve had heart murmurs, high blood pressure, what’s known as esophageal spasms, which feel like a heart attack, kidney stones, and so far, am cancer-free.
I have told my doctor that I’d like him to have me dissected after I die, just for curiosity’s sake, and see if there really is something weird in there.
I would tell you that I have survived things that should have killed me on more than just a couple occasions, and I’m DIEING to know why. No pun intended.
I don’t deal with the VA well. A couple bad experiences that had more to do with office/billing/admin than medical.
Though , when I went for an agent orange screening at the age of 30, I dealt with a very young lady doctor who said my skin symptoms didn’t match what the book said.
I asked how long the book had been out, and was it finished yet, and she seemed a little miffed that a peon like myself could question the god’s authority.
Wait a minute. I think that would be where I insert ADD !

Thank you, andreah, for your kind words, and you take care of you, also.
Laugh every day on each of your mental channels. It should keep you busy for what? At least four or five hours?

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