Insanity? No wonder!

[memzak]

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t know that I had ADD. Before I knew, I still had hope that somehow I would be able to conquer my problems and be the person everyone was expecting me to be. After I found out I went into a deep depression. I wasn’t fixable.

Thus I must have been insane. I was still expecting different results from doing the same thing over and over and over. No wonder they call us crazy.

Then I found out that I wasn’t broken. I found that I can turn what I considered the worst parts of ADD into assets. My “worst” ADD trait is my sensitivity. I cry at commercials. I cry over cool sayings. I cry if you startle me, well I used to anyway.

It didn’t help. I still get depressed even though I know I have the power within me to live a wonderful and wealthy life.

So what do I do now? I have applied for every kind of help I can think of but I am still floundering. Should I take the medication that dumb psychiatrist gave me? I had been diagnosed through our county’s mental health crisis center and they sent me to this psychiatrist I guess for maintenance? I was having a really bad day the day I went to see her. I was really depressed about some stuff going on and couldn’t stop crying. It happens to me occasionally usually when several bad things are happening at the same time, classic case of overwhelm. She obviously noticed that I couldn’t stop crying and said I wasn’t ADD what I had was a mood disorder (like I hadn’t heard that one before) and gave me Lamotrigine to take with my Welbutrin. After 4 days of that I became so aggressive and irritable that I just stopped taking it and never went back. Now the Welbutrin has stopped working and it will be three months before I can get back to the county psychiatrist.

Dr J, I could use some aggressiveness right now, should I try the Lamotrigine again? If so, with or without the Welbutrin. I stopped taking the Welbutrin because it was affecting my vision.

REPORT ABUSE

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