job transitions

[sdwa]

Or something.

I’ve worked as an office support person for the last 17 years, same company.

They are “downsizing.” I have followed them temporarily to a new office location, where they are sharing employees with another company.

My job is being passed off to someone else.

If I’m lucky, I might get to continue to go in one day a week to do their bookkeeping.

But if I do that, I won’t be able to collect unemployment because I won’t have enough hours in my base year to qualify.

It feels lousy to be ditched after all this time, and to watch my job be passed to someone else, and I’m kind of pissed off about it. They could have brought me with them, but I’m not really needed.

And this reinforces all of those old feelings about being marginal or not good enough or not fitting in, etc.

I’m pissed.

I’m also 50 years old and the sole provider for a family of four.

I knew this could happen months ago, but I wasn’t sure how it would play out. I could have been job hunting months ago, but I didn’t want to – plus, they’d been through downturns before and I didn’t take it that seriously.

And the truth is, I really don’t want to grovel to look for another job. I’m tired of trying so hard all the time and feeling like no matter what I do, people will overlook my real talents and skills, marginalize me as a person, and not truly accept me for who I am. I’m sick of trying to belong to groups that don’t want me. I never want to be part of a club that would not have someone like me for a member.

Not sure what I’m going to do now, but I do know I can’t muster the energy to get a haircut, put on a shiny suit, and do the “please hire me, I’m cute” routine. I just don’t want to do it any more. I don’t want to work in a corporate environment. I don’t want to work in an office. I don’t want to have to impress anyone. I am not a customer service person. I do not have great “communication skills” in a business setting.

I like REAL people. I could be a good therapist, coach, social worker, teacher, or someone who helps real people with real problems in a real and honest way. This pretentious business crap just doesn’t do it for me. I’m burned out, haven’t had a vacation in years.

I have one more day on the job. How am I going to manage to be nice about it or go out on a positive note? I kind of despise them and hope they die.

Just saying.

🙂

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[blackdog]

LOL 😆

“I kind of despise them and hope they die.”

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing at a time like this. But that line just makes me want to chuckle. 🙂

I’me not sure how I kept my composure the last time. I kind of wish I hadn’t now. But I think at the time I was holding on to the thought that I was going to fight them and I needed to make sure I did nothing wrong that might screw it up. I should have set fire to the place on my way out.

Just remember that you are the better person. Be nice and positive for your own sake, not for theirs. Do it for your own dignity and pride. Remember that the best revenge is living well.

Unless you really want to burn the place down. Then I suggest you make sure you do it in a way that will look like an accident. 😉

Is there any possibility of getting help with retraining? A scholarship maybe? I’m just trying to think of something….. But it is difficult when you are the sole provider. Makes the paycheque more of a priority. And I can’t think of any job like the type you want to do that doesn’t require training of some sort.

Maybe someone else will be able to come up with a better idea. I don’t really have the experience or knowledge to help.

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[sdwa]

@blackdog

It helps just that you care enough to comment. You have the experience and the knowledge to do that, and that’s one of the things that’s cool about you.

I’m sort of over the job loss. It is what it is, right? The emotional part, anyway.

The practical stuff – I still need money. Not sure what’s next for me.

But the emotional stuff, I’m not taking it personally. I felt better about that today.

Your comments reminded me of that stupid yet funny movie about a guy who decides he hates his job, starts going in wearing flip-flops, plots to rob the company, and eventually burns the place down…”Office Space”?

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[blackdog]

I think I know what movie you mean. I never saw it but I would probably like it. I usually enjoy films in the so-stupid-it’s-funny genre.

The West Jet guy comes to mind, the one who slid down the inflatable emergency ramp. He was kind of my hero. Not so much for how he did it but just that he had the courage to do it.

I got a job at a new dollar store a few years ago and it was horrible. The job was fine but the manager was a psychotic witch with serious anger management issues.

One day she fired a girl for no reason at all. And a bunch of other people walked out. They all just left for their breaks and never came back. And I really wanted to go with them. But I was too chicken.

And a couple of months later she fired me for no reason.

Anyway, it’s good that you’re feeling better about it now. It’s important to have that emotional closure. And maybe it happened for a reason. Maybe something better is going to come along. 🙂

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[kc5jck]

@swda – Sorry to hear about what’s happening with/to you.  Wish I had something useful to say.

So after starting to write, I got to wondering why, although I can empathize/sympathize, I have never been good at expressing such sentiment.  A quick look to Wikipedia came up with:

Distractions severely limit the ability to produce strong affective responses. Without distractions, people are able to attend to and respond to a variety of emotional subjects and experiences. Attention facilitates the experience of sympathy, and without giving undivided attention to many situations sympathy cannot be experienced.

So perhaps the above explains one of my problems with emotional expressions. distraction due to ADHD.

I realize none of this helps you, but it has given me and perhaps others something to think about when wondering why we have problems with relationships.

Anyway, Hope things get better for you.

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[blackdog]

That is really interesting @kc5jck. It explains a lot. I am not a very sympathetic person. Or at least, I have a hard time expressing sympathy. Or any emotion.

You just reminded me of a time when I was working in retail and a guy came in and asked if we had any men’s dress shirts because his father had just died and he needed one for the funeral.

I replied that yes, we did and started giving him directions to the menswear section. Half way through what he said registered and I stopped mid sentence and said “Oh. I’m sorry”.

It was a little embarrassing for me but it made him smile so I guess it was kind of a good thing. 🙂

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[Scattybird]

@sdwa – second attempt at a reply – my last one disappeared somewhere.

I am so sorry to hear your news – it sucks. For what its worth I completely admire you. You seem to be  taking the whole thing in a very stoical way and the strength of character you have to look after and provide for your family is great. I would fold if I had to look after a family of four – I wouldn’t know where to begin.

I heard a business person the other day talking about how they s**t on people and he said “it’s not personal, it’s just business”.  I guess he’s probably right – businesses certainly proved that when they stopped calling the Personnel department exactly that and renamed it ‘Human Resources’.

I know what you mean about not wanting to dress up for the job hunt – its horrible and energy sapping. But could you retrain as a teacher? Are there grants out there to encourage people to train as teachers?  On a practical and perhaps more immediate note – you mentioned bookkeeping.  Could you set yourself up as self-employed and do bookkeeping for small businesses who might not be in a position to employ someone full time? There must be small businesses out there that would be glad to pay someone like you to do their bookkeeping. You’d be cheaper than an accountant for them and they wouldn’t need to worry about that side of the business. Also, could that be extended to you being a personal finance “manager” for self-employed individuals who may be struggling to keep their financial records in order? Just a thought……sorry if it’s a silly one.

Anyway, stay positive about yourself – after all, if THEY can’t keep their business going and need to downsize it strikes me that THEY are a bunch of losers and you’re just unfortunate to have been in their employment.

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[sdwa]

@blackdog

In my experience, minimum or low-wage jobs tend to have management that is draconian and somewhat insane. LOL.

@kc5jck

That sounds right to me – the part about not connecting due to distraction. There are many things other people say that I can’t listen to no matter how hard I try. They sound like the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons. Wa wa wa wa wa. But other times, people will say things that I can key into with a high degree of focus. Probably it would be good to track those times and look for patterns.

@Scattybird

Thanks for the kind words. It is a big deal to be the breadwinner. And the people I worked for are, in fact, the worst personnel managers I have ever worked for – it just isn’t their thing. They are in their own world. Like a lot of creatives, they are not good at tracking their finances, either.

It took them years to figure out what they really needed as opposed to what they thought they needed from employees, so they used to hire people who were super well-qualified, who would then get frustrated and quit, because the truth was the partners never wanted to delegate or share creative responsibility with anyone. I eventually pointed out to them that they should hire less qualified people who would just show up and do the grunt work – and after they started doing that, they had much higher employee retention.

I have thought about retraining as a bookkeeper/accounting person. What I know, I learned on the job. I have no formal training. I also have marginal math skills – which are not needed if I have an adding machine, an Excel spreadsheet, and a computerized check ledger – but I really don’t understand the broader meaning or context of what I’m doing. If I wanted to get that training, I’d need to take remedial pre-Algebra math at the community college, and then take accounting courses over a span of years. It would be, I think, a good practical skill – and one that can travel into all kinds of industries. It’s just that it is not in my area of natural aptitude, and it might bore me so much it would take me a long time to learn and be a very painful process. Been there, done that, with skills that don’t come naturally. Once I knew how to do it, I’d probably be fine, because I like methods and routines that are repeatable and verifiable and not open to interpretation.

What would be great about it is that it is a low-key job most of the year (except during tax season) – people wouldn’t bother me, I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone, and I could just quietly trundle in, do my thing, and go away. That’s the type of job atmosphere that works best for me.

I wouldn’t want to be a public school teacher, although I do really enjoy high school  kids. What I’d like to do is be an ADHD coach, maybe go into schools and explain to their Special Ed people what kids with ADHD really need, what ADHD is and how it impacts learning. Because from dealing with my son’s school, it is obvious to me that not even the Special Ed teacher understands. But I don’t know how realistic a goal that is – it’s just something I think about and care about because I don’t want other people to suffer needlessly. In reality, I’d probably be at my best coaching one-on-one.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to be a writer.

But everything I want to do costs money, instead of being a source of  income.

Also, I’ve done retraining a couple of times and not been able to find employment. I’m not good at self-promotion – I could probably learn to be if I had confidence in the skills I was offering. I’m not  a schmoozer or a big personality. I’m easily overstimulated and prefer a low-key environment.

People are getting out of college and not finding jobs. There was a story about an older guy who went back to school and got a computer science degree – and then no one would hire him because he was old.

So, I’m wondering what jobs might fit my temperament. I’m also wondering what jobs are good for older people, where age is perceived as an asset instead of as a liability. A counselor can be old because age is supposed to include wisdom and maturity, LOL. Where does age lend credibility to a role? Professional wizard? I don’t know.

😉

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[kc5jck]

@sdwa – there is a book my wife got me  about 8 years ago:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Millionaire-Maker-Think-Wealthy/dp/0071466150

I don’t remember all the details, but it encourages the reader to go it on their own doing what they love and know best.  I think it has some ideas from which you would benefit.  You have exhibited superior intelligence and an aptitude for many talents.  I know you can be successful.

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[blackdog]

@sdwa That’s because they are really unintelligent, unimaginative, un-talented and unskilled people who don’t know how to do their job and have to hide that fact by making everyone else look bad and blaming others for their mistakes. And usually they don’t aspire to anything better than managing the local dollar store and think they are something special for rising to that level of mediocrity. Or they are really bitter and resentful and frustrated with their own lives and have to take it out on others.

The manager at that store posted a list of funny/sarcastic sayings in the staff room that she got off the Internet. One has always stuck in my mind because when I read it I thought it fit her perfectly: “Oh, sorry, did I step on your itty bitty ego?”

But I’m being mean. Many of them probably have learning disabilities. Some of them may actually be insane. Most people think I’m stupid and/or crazy so I shouldn’t be so quick to pin the label on others.

I know what you mean about how everything you want to do costs money instead of bringing in income. And the retraining and not finding a job too. I’ve known people who had that happen.

What about writing? Is there some way you could make money from it? Working freelance for a newspaper maybe. Or I should say website since newspapers are going the way of the dinosaur.

Of course, it probably wouldn’t pay enough even if you could. Well, there must be something. I’m sure you will find it.

@Scattybird, that’s a great suggestion. Not silly at all. It may not work for sdwa for the reasons she listed. And I would rather pull my hair out than do anything remotely associated with math. But it would be a great option for those who do have the skills.

As for dressing up for interviews, I don’t really. I keep it very simple, so that I don’t waste energy. Dress pants, nice shirt, hair in a bun, clean nails, shiny shoes. And foundation to cover my blemished and uneven skin so I won’t feel self conscious about it. If I worry too much about how i look I’ll probably make myself late fussing and won’t be able to focus during the interview because I’ll be too busy thinking about how I look. So I go with what I know and use the same outfit for everything, just dressing it up or down to suit the situation. But then I have never applied to a job where they might not hire you just because you  broke some silly rule about how you’re supposed to dress for interviews.

That’s a good point about the Human Resources department. We’re not people, just resources. Numbers on a page. Someday maybe they’ll wake up and see that that’s the problem. When my last employer fired me he said “It wasn’t an easy decision to make”. BS. He never even took the time to get to know me. If he had he might have seen what a huge asset I could have been. But he’d rather have a brainless twit who batts her pretty eyelashes at him and says all the things he wants to hear than someone who might actually be able to help him.

And I’m going to my dark place again. Enough of that.

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[shutterbug55]

I am so sorry to hear this, sdwa.

I have been in the same position as yourself, more times than I would like to remember. A couple of them, I spent weeks training my replacement, knowing all the time the person was some chowder-headed dolt, who would never be able to handle the job.

Suggestion: become independent. Start your own company and do the books for others. Look at your strengths and you and someone else fit those into a business that you can run and operate. That way you won’t get fired.

In my case, I see patterns. I am good with math. I started investing my savings and it grew. I started investing that into real estate. That grew. I started getting an income. and the last time I went out to look for a job, it was because I WANTED to. During the interview, I was thinking “You need me more than I need you, and it bugs the heck out of you, doesn’t it!”.

I paid my investments first, and got them to grow to the point where they are now feeding me. It is never too late, and with all of your energy, you will be able to do what ever you want. Surround yourself with people who will keep you on track and help you set and reach your goals.

 

 

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[sdwa]

@shutterbug

Great story about saving and investing. I remember way back around the time Starbucks was about to go public – in the early ’90s – I was working as an administrative assistant in an insurance company – and I knew, I just knew, that the company would take off. I thought about buying stock, but I couldn’t afford it….Real estate would be great – to own a duplex, rent out one of the units – ? We missed the boat on Microsoft as well. Who knows what the future will bring? Anyway, I am glad for you that you were able to do that – must alleviate a lot of stress just knowing you have that as a resource.

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[shutterbug55]

@sdwa

I remember reading in your other posts you like to be told how to do things.

OK. Start small. Get a buddy to help you with the discipline and planning.

Figure up how much you spend on things you don’t need. Coffee and cigarettes are a good place to start, because not only do you not need them, they are unhealthy. Put that money in savings. Before you spend a dime on anything else, put it into savings. DO NOT spend it EVER. That is principal. NEVER spend principal.

Once you have a little set aside, like $1,000 or so, look for a safe investment. Once it starts earning money, you take some of that and reinvest it, and spend the rest. Before you know it, $1,000 becomes $2,000, which becomes $3,000, because you are making interest and still saving. Ass you go on, you might find other things you don’t need and you can pay your investments with that as well.

That is how I did it. It is all about living below your means and we can all do it. I have basic cable, garage sale furniture, a small TV, a VERY used car, a small home, good but inexpensive clothes. I pack my lunch to work, I eat dinner at home, I cook. I do not buy prepared meals. I was AMAZED at how much I could save!

By having the cash around because I never spent the principal I was ready for the next MS or Starbucks to come around. You will be able to do that as well.

I really wish they had Personal Messaging on this forum!

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[Scattybird]

@shutterbug,

excuse my ignorance, but how do you  put money in a safe investment. I mean what is the process, where do you physically go with the $1000?

 

 

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[shutterbug55]

Good question, Scattybird.

Safe means lots of things to lots of people. I am NOT risk adverse, so things I call “Safe” are investments that do better than inflation. My brother, who is VERY risk adverse, considers anything without a guarantee, “Risky”.

Where do you fall? I don’t know. When you get your money together and you are ready to buy something, you take it to your local bank. They have an investment desk that will be able to execute your transaction.

Their broker will also give you his/her “Sage” advise on investing. There is a reason they call them “Brokers”. It is because they are broker than you. DON’T LISTEN to them. Do your research. I am going to give you a couple names of investments, I think are good.  Look at them as EXAMPLES ONLY. Use them to find ones that make YOU feel good about investing. Look at what they invest in. If it looks questionable, dont invest. If you don’t understand why they hold XYZ widgets, look up XYZ Widgets. UNDERSTAND what you are investing in.

Remember you are not betting on the ponies, you are investing your hard-earned money. You need to become familiar with the terminology (language) of investment. Information in the business world is the ultimate power, while money will only open doors.

To begin with, you probably want to find a “No Load” fund. Meaning one that does not charge fees when you put money in, or take it out. It is nice if they don’t take fees on an annual basis as well. You want to find one that is taking a defensive posture in the market. That is to say, they are trying to protect their ASS(ets) in case of another market down turn. A fund that has a level set is good. They don’t earn as much, but their value has a stop-loss built in.

I like Hanlon as an example for these things. Though I think they dropped their fund that included the asset protection. Most funds have a minimum investment for non-IRA accounts. They are a good place to start your investigations, because they have several different portfolios to look at. Fidelity and Franklin used to be good stand-bys because they tend to be conservative. They would be good to look at in comparison.

BOOKS: Read books. “Richest Man in Babylon” is good. “The Intelligent Investor” It’s another good one. Just because you invest money, doesn’t mean you are an investor. If you are saying “Let’s take a chance on this” DON’T BUY IT. There is nothing left to chance, when investing.

Try paper trading for a while. “buy” something by writing down on paper the purchase price, the date, and the number of shares purchased and follow it for a couple months writing down the value and date as a minimum. “Buy” and “sell” a few of them for a while. How did you do? Did you loose money? No problem. It’s only paper. You didn’t do it for real. When you feel comfortable, you have done your reading and your research, you will probably have saved enough to invest.

I know it’s a lot of info. It seems confusing, but it is essential for financial success. Hope this helps.

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