Just watched this program and have some questions, help please

[Anonymous]

Hi my name is Stephen,

I watched this program early this morning and for the first time I cried because this I felt like this involved me and no one I knew was involved. As a kid (around 6 or , I was diagnosed with ADHD which went untreated. As I have grown, I never knew I had it and never really cared either. Now, at the age of 21, I’ve noticed a lot of stuff going on in both present and past life that have really taken in affect on me. After watching what some symptoms are, I have created a list of stuff that I have noticed as possible symptoms and was wondering if anyone could give some advice, recommend anything, and is it possible that I might have it?

– I’ve noticed that I have problems paying attention in conversations, activities and tasks, work, etc.

If a conversation doesn’t seem to interest me or involve me I get bored and non purposely ignore what is being said and there are times where even when the conversation interests me, whenever I get finished talking and they talk I tend to loose interest quick

-On tasks and activities I can stay focused.

If I’m playing a sport such as basketball or football, I tend to wonder off both physically and mentally if I’m not actually playing the sport but if i’m playing i stay much more focused. On the other hand, if it is something like chess, video games, climbing, etc (something active) I tend to stay completely and utterlessly focused. As far as tasks, depending on the task, I rarely finish a task in one session. I flop back in forth between tasks

-Work. When I wasn’t doing manual labor, I would loose interest, begin to despise the work place and so forth. Regretting it after I leave. I would also make a lot of mistakes too, handing out wrong change, hitting stuff on the forklift, etc.

-Friends and family. I don’t talk to my family long because we tend to argue the majority of the time we are talking. My friends I love to death, if it wasn’t for them I would have killed myself a long time ago. Even with my friends I can’t hold certain converstaions on long.

-Relationships, this is the worst one. I don’t even know how to put this one really. I’m very depressed because I don’t feel loved (even though I have friends and family who do, it is the girlfriend/boyfriend type relationship I’m looking for) and I don’t think anyone understands me. Whenever I’m in a relationship, my mind skips back and forth constently (this is when I’m at my worst) and I ask myself stuff like “Should I do this?” “Should I say that?” If she looks depressed, mad, upset I think its me and beat myself up for it because I don’t know what to do. I’ve never had a relationship last over 2 months and I haven’t dated much. A lot of women say stuff to me like “You’re such a great guy” or “I wish I could meet a guy like you” Well….hmmm…whats wrong with me? I overthink situations very quickly and vastly and never have a solution or outcome to the situation so most of the time the situation turns sour. I have only one lifetime goal (I have other goals like to get a good career, college, house, etc) but my main goal is to get married and raise a child. I’ve always wondered why my relationships go down the drain 3 of my exs cheated on me, 2 just said it wasn’t right, and luckly enough I’m dating a friend whom I’ve known on and off since I was 3, but it seems to be going downhill as well and I try my hardest to figure what I can do to make it better but I end up getting frustrated and start bursting out in tears. I don’t want to loose her because she is the first girlfriend who I felt cared for me, I mean she is wonderful, shes not pushy, mean, untalkative, etc.

-When I was in school, I never had bad grades. All As & Bs. The only time I messed up was when I put working first. I was known as the class clown at times even when my jokes were stupid. The majority of time of the class I was asleep but I knew the work. I took Pre-Cal in High School and was in AP Science and History courses. English was always my downfall, I always asked “Why do I have to take a course on my language when I speak it just fine?!” I can’t spell most of the time but then again most people don’t know how to spell most of the words I use. My vocabulary is not as big as I would like it to be.

-Money, I’m not able to save a dime. I will try and try and try and never pays out. I see something I want and get it later wondering “Why did i get this?” “Could it have waited?” “Dammit not again” excuse my cursing. I notice that buying stuff I don’t really need makes me happy for a short period of time

There are some other areas where I have noticed some negative areas of my life. I smoke and it helps whenver I’m getting uncontroable but I hate smoking and I don’t want to do it anymore. I’ve been going to a therapist about my depression and anger (I’m not angry towards others, I have a lot of built up anger inside that I don’t show). One thing I was thinking before I watched this program was about the disorders ** said that I might have like Severe anxiety, depression, bi polar, and szchophriana (Whenever my mind is running uncontrolably and very fast, normally happens in a relationship, I begin to hear a voice internally in my head telling me stupid mundane stuff, sometimes I listen, most of the time I ignore it) Here are some questions I have

1) Is it possible that I might have it?

2) Is there a cure?

3) If there is medication and I get put on it, will it take the the good side out of me (my energy, my funny side, etc)?

4) If there is no medication nor cure, will I ever be able to be happy, be able to hold a relationship, get married?

5) How does everyone who doesn’t take meds able to be happy?

Well, I’m getting a little teary eyed writing this so. Please from the bottom of my heart any answers, advice, etc. will be greatly appreciated

Thanks,

Stephen

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

First, don’t give up! There is hope and help! You should get diagnosed to know for certain but I have felt all you are feeling and I know how tough it is! As far as, love and marriage, of course, it is possible for you. If you do have ADD then there are medications and counselors that can guide you. You also have support from others on this site, who KNOW how you feel and are here for you too. The good thing is that you are still young! I just now got diagnosed at 40 and I feel a bit frustrated, wondering what I could have done with my life differently had I gotten the help I needed long ago. Go to your doctor and discuss this with him/her. (Take the tests and info on here with you, check out the downloads from the diagnosis section.) If they don’t listen to you or dismiss you (as this happens A LOT) don’t give up! Go to another doctor and keep on going to doctors until someone listens and helps you figure out what is going on. And don’t forget that people do love you…even if you “feel” like they don’t! I completely know what you mean there but you have to keep telling yourself the truth…you are loved! Let your most trusted friend or relative know what you are feeling and have them check out this site too…support is so helpful!! Remember that us ADDers are here for you too!

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Thanks, I really appreciate it. I just got to find something to take off my mind from things while I wait for my psychiatrist appointment in January

REPORT ABUSE

[ADDled]

Believe it or not most everyone here has a similar story. You are not alone. Feeling lonely, confused and scared? You are not alone there also.

I agree with ladyg, get an assessment but first of all make sure your doctor is up to date on Adult ADD. According to some people using these forums, there are doctors that, for whatever reason, don’t believe Adult ADD exists. So you may need to do some research and find someone who can help you.

Do you have it? Sounds as if you may have it, but I’m no specialist. I can only comment on how your symptoms kind of mirror what I feel and I am ADD. Not “suffer from” ADD, I have ADD.

Search this website and I think there is a self-test you can do, but please understand it’s only a self-test and can form a basis for further action on your part.

Naturally, these other feelings you have about anxiety and depression or bi-polar will need a professional opinion. Many of these conditions can occur with (called “comorbidity”) ADD, or are a result of ADD. This is where professional assistance is needed to sort all that out. While going through getting my diagnosis one of the things that was investigated was the possibility of being bi-polar. Surprised the heck out of me, but he’s the doctor and has a pretty good reason. He is a specialist in ADD and has an “alphabet-and-a-half” of letters after his name. So a lot of these things need to be sorted out.

Even though ADD, I still issues with depression and anxiety and am taking meds for those also, but the depression and anxiety parts aren’t so severe any more.

Many of us here will tell you that medication does work and has helped and will be an important part of your recovery, in fact the first step. Some say it can be controlled without pharmacological intervention. And that will be a decision you and your doctor will need to work out. I have not met anyone who has made significant changes without using meds. They may be out there, but I haven’t met them yet. Meds will help you get a leg-up on your symptoms, then you can make those changes you want to make easier. I think in the documentary it refers to “putting on a pair of eye glasses”. A good analogy. Many of us feel the same way.

Will you be cured? No, this is a neurological thing, it’s how your brain is wired. The only thing you can really do to change your reality of being ADD is managing it. I found it really helped to accept it then learn to manage it. Read, become aware, ask questions, accept your ADD and don’t be afraid of assistance such as therapy or counseling or even these forums here on ADD and Loving It.

As a side bar: The forums here are a really good resource because we’re all going through it, some are further along than others, but because, as ADDer’s, we tend to be more empathetic, accepting and want to help people (a good by-product of ADD). So, you’ll find are beginners and continuing members here. Where I practice Tai Chi , for example. we have only a “beginners’ class” and a “continuing class” for instruction. No one has a rank of expert in Tai Chi, we are all still learning. Even out instructors are instructed! The only experts here are Dr. Jain, and maybe Rick or Patrick, because they did the documentary….

We also don’t have resident “basement trolls” to do nothing but bait, deny, confuse, irritate and anger the members here as happens in other groups. Maybe it’s because all this discussion about ADD cuts too close to home? I found it helped to tell a few close friends. That, and tell yourself that ADD is the reason: not the excuse. Part of managing is to take ownership.

I still have ADD. I have learned, and am still learning how to manage it. Don’t get me wrong my life is more in control now than it has ever been. But because ADD for me has been life-long thing, so will be the managing and learning all about ADD.

You may want to view the documentary again, now that the “Hey, that’s me they’re talking about…” shock has worn off and the self realization of the possibly being ADD has set in, to figure out where you go from here. There are a lot of things to absorb.

In a nutshell, you’ll be fine. Since my diagnosis of ADD, I’ve never been happier…my ADD is being used for good rather than evil.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Thanks ya’ll I really appreciate it. I have a couple of other questions that just popped in my head.

1) Is there a good ADD psychiatrist/specialist around the Raleigh, NC region that ya’ll may know of?

2) For those who have been on medication, does it change who you are? For example, I love being the “nice guy”, being friendly, having a unconditional care for people whether I know them or not, being energetic, love new and exciting things, etc. I don’t want to become “brain washed” and loose what I love most about myself.

3) The stuff that pops in my head when I am in a relationship, such as “is this right?” “Why does she look upset?” “Is it me?” “Does she constantly text on her phone because she doesn’t like me, thinks I’m boring, etc.?” Is this normal for everyone or something that could possibly be ADD?

4) Why does my mind tend to loose focus more when I’m in a relationship (or trying to be in one)?

5) Has anyone ever get so “out of focus” that their mind runs to the point to where they start visioning stuff and hearing things? (For instance, when I normally let my mind wonder I have random sequences pop up in my head, some are memories, some are just random stuff that has never happened to me but in some way I’m involved. Also I tend to hear a voice internally whenever I’m really on the fritz, I don’t think its schizophrenia but just a uncontrollable thought)

6) I’m known as the one who isn’t angered easily, I have a good amount of patience at times (like if someone insults me or threatens me I disregard it and move along) but smaller stuff like traffic jams tend to cause me to freak out causing my heart to race, I break out yelling and crying, saying every word in the book. Also at the workplace (I have 4 jobs, I work at Home Depot, a cigarette store, a guitar shop, and I’m a drum instructor) particularly home depot, I get aggreviated at the smallest things like (I operate the heavy machinery such as fork lifts, cherry pickers, etc) and as I’m loading merchandise through the store and the company has displays set up I get extremely mad and yell questions like “Why are they doing this? They know we have to monevur equipment daily through the store!” “How come can’t no one else do their job? I’m sick of being my co worker’s mom” “We are running out of room to put merchandise and yet they still send this stuff in?! What in the world?” Is this normal to ADDers?

7) Is there over the counter solutions to help with ADD (such as over the counter meds, vitamins, special head lotion lol)?

Is there any other disorders (or just anything in general) that what I am going through could be instead of ADD?

9) A lot of people that I know personally say that they have some if not most of the same issues I have (they have NOT been diagnosed with anything), but they are calm, relaxed, and have a general perception of carelessness. By judging how they talk, look, etc, I don’t believe they are going through the same thing I am and it angers me when they say they do? Does this happen to ya’ll as well?

10) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck COULD chuck wood? lol I thought I might send something to make people laugh

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Hey there, just read your post…..well communicated and articulate, as are the responses. I am an adult male ADD’er as well who appears to have some similar qualities. I find myself all over on this site too, not everywhere, but in many places. We have similarities and differences like any and everybody else. I urge you (as others have) to educate yourself on this subject. There is no substitute for awareness (in my mind). If and or when your find a professional you can work with (it may take some searching) the more you can share with them about you the more you will get back from them. A was a Pshyc Major and in counseling for years and I understand the more you can give your guide the more they can give back!! A nice side bar for me was the more I understood about myself the less hmmmm… anxious I was about my difference. I still know I’m different but would not change it if I could.

So, learning about your difference can also show you the positives about brains that function like ours do. There are many many great attributes to brains like ours, but they are generally misunderstood but the majority of society and ourselves, but they are there. I encourage all to seek the positives we are endowed with and exploit them to the max. You are a musician, as am I. Not wanting to generalize but the “soft arts” seem to be a comfortable place we land in. Music was not my occupation but I cannot imagine a world without music. My house has always been full of it, my gown up children still love that!! Now that I’m retired I can indulge myself in music to my hearts content. I also draw (when the spirit moves me), I built custom motorcycles and people are amazed at the beautiful things I produce. I owe that to my ability to hyper-focus and my visionary brain. I can see things clearly before I start. I have gift for aesthetics and color….all of which I feel I owe to ADD. However I can’t balance a check book, I write as I am now with an electronic dictionary open……duh!!!! Hahahahaha……I know I’m shitty at somethings…many things that others do with ease, but I also excel at many things that others cannot fathom. I just eventually accepted some of those shortcoming, I learned how to mange others, and I’m ADD and Loving it!!!!

Your good with people, me too. People seek me out to talk to. I can listen for long periods of time and have empathy. i can offer insites that they wonder at. I can also be crusty, and usually am. It takes while to know me, I’m not an open book, and I’m fine with that. I’m often judged at first blush in a negative way, but those who stick around and get to know are amazed at who i am and they are generally friends for life. I have few friends, but many acquaintances (had to look this up forgot the c) hahahha. so I am easy on myself, I’m a good guy, a good father and a fair partner. My kids still call me up and come over and they are in their 20/30s with their friends. Their friends can’t believe that they can just come in our home and just be who they are, and hang out. They tell my kids they are envious of our relationship. Our house is different, our relationships are different NOT LESS….DIFFERENT.

So yes get educated while your searching…..do not stop there keep learning, self awareness set me free.

A great read is Fully Human Fully Alive….I found it to be a wonderful book on perspective. Perspective is Reality.

By the way the answer is…..2.756834 chords of wood in exactly 3 hours!!!! Hahahahahha

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

The answer assumes that woodchucks CAN chuck wood.

REPORT ABUSE

[billd]

How far must the wood be chucked? And what sort – hardwoods, softwoods? Is this green or seasoned wood?

On the TV commercial, they were chucking it only a few feet…………

Too many questions or unknowns to be able to accurately answer.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

@billd this is true how can such a question be answered without further details? We can give a rough estimate but nothing truly approximate.

Petter Piker picked a pear of pickled peppers, how many peppers did Peter Picker pick?

I can not answer that, I at least need to know how long he was picking pickled peppers and how his movement is in order to give at least a vague answer.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

i am hoping you got your assessment and see what it said. i just turned 23 and i too share EXACTLY the same issues as you do and actually forgot that i was reading about someone else it mirrored me except im female….sadly i know what you mean my ex husband who i was with for 7 years cheated but i blame myself alot bc of my adhd and how i got soo over flustered that id just bite his head off sometimes for no reason…thankfully my medication, excercise, and better organization and planning ahead works out.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts