Okay – how to cope without medical help, please?

[Tiddler]

Things are going to take a LONG time for me to get any help. I’ve been told I simply won’t get help from outside my area, I do not trust the doctor here and even if I did she may not agree to see me because I missed ONE appointment that I didn’t even know about and I am struggling to cope without help.

So, while I’m waiting in never never land, how to help myself?

I have always run on adrenaline in the past, by being anxious all the time. With my diagnosis came freedom from that anxiety but it’s left me with no coping strategies and I need them fast.

What do you do to help yourself? So far I have:

A large coffee in the morning – little success but better than no coffee at all.

Play a fast paced computer game for 10 minutes to kick start me a little bit – problem is I end up playing for ages or going back to it again and again to try and generate enough adrenaline – or because I forget what I’m trying to do or because I’m getting nowhere with what I’m trying to do …

Passed over certain tasks to husband – laundry, loading dishwasher and keeping track of finances.

That’s it.

What works for you?

Thanks

PS I’ve looked into private treatment and it’s just too expensive – over £100 per month on pills and another £90 on seeing the doc once a month and another £40 on petrol to get there (he’s miles away.) We’re on a very low income.

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[Bill]

I’m working on the theory that it’s easier for me to learn how to bring the focus back to the task I want to accomplish than it is to prevent distractions. I am far from working it all out. One thing I have found is that I’m distractable ALL the time, but it’s much easier for me to re-focus in the morning than later in the day. I am testing whether taking a nap helps me bring the focus back and early results say that it does. For me, it works better than caffeine or sheer will power. It’s hard to do at work, but I’m testing this more on week ends now.

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[Anonymous]

That’s very difficult. I don’t know if you’d consider this, but Lumosity is having a sale (25% off until the end of tomorrow, at least in Canada). There’s a section of games geared to help with ADHD.

Exercise, and some say omega 3s. Maybe you’re already doing that. I’m trying to do more of it.

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[JimC.]

I’ve read lots on ADHD as many of us have; I’d recommend you grab a copy of “you mean I’m not lazy, crazy, or stupid”, as it offers a wide spectrum of coping strategies from medications to meditation. One of the 2 authors is listed on this site as a coach.

..from less than £ 5 : http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/offer-listing/0743264487/ref=sr_1_1_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1333594665&sr=8-1&condition=used

I get a good adrenaline hit from exercise (cycling skiing running whatever) but in short exercise will lift your spirits even if just a long, fast-paced walk.

I hope that you get the medical attention you seek, and in the interim that these ideas might help a bit. Good luck, Jim

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[Scattybird]

Hi Tiddler –

I find Red Bull and coffee a better combination than just coffee – the NHS might fix the resulting stomach ulcer even if they don’t ‘do’ mental health issues!

If I am working on something specific and if it’s paper or computer based I write myself a note – on A4 sized paper – landscape – using thick black marker pen. So it’s big and bold and specific to that one task. My note says – “you’re working on X. Just get on with it!!”. Obviously substitute ‘x’ for the specific job. It’s important to name the one task. I keep the note in my field of vision. I also have a watch that beeps every hour. The note is worded harshly enough that it reminds me what I should be doing and the beeper just signifies the passing of time without being too instrusive.

It’s not perfect but it does help me refocus if I have had a lapse and got distracted. That means I can allow the odd distraction and the note brings me back to reality.

Obviously make sure you try to sleep well – symptoms are worse when tired and hungry. So force yourself to have a proper meals routine. I guess with children you do that anyway.

Good luck Tiddler.

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[Tiddler]

Thank you so much everyone.

I am having a particularly hard time and this thread has brought a huge smile to my face. It’s reminded me, again, that I am not alone.

I use Lumosity – it’s fab but it sucks me in. Great advice though. It’s a whole heap better than what I did previously which was argue with people on forums!

I too am distractable all the time. I have found though, at the moment, when I do focus, I’m on the wrong task – I keep repeating work I thought I hadn’t done, doing things I don’t need to do and focusing in on work that isn’t as urgent as more pressing things.

I got a timer. I lost the instructions. I found them again on the internet. I lost the page. My husband showed me how to work it. I forgot. I forget that I’ve got it. When he sets it off for me it’s very effective though so I should try harder with that.

I have Do you mean I’m not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy. I took notes all the way through and made lists of all the techniques I wanted to use. I lost my notes. I can’t remember what I thought was worthwhile, nor do I know where the book is now.

I go for a walk with the dog every morning. That certainly helps, especially as I have a friend to walk with and the sun is so often out lately.

I’ll have another go with redbull. I’m messing about with doses of caffeine but finding that a lot makes me unpleasant to be around when it wears off.

I like the idea of a simple, bold note. I just have to make sure I’m actually doing a task I should be doing and I think that will help.

The stress is giving me painful IBS. Not eating is a nightmare – you’re so right. I often make the children food and forget to eat or feel I can’t sit down long enough to eat. Not clever.

Sleep is a BIG issue. I don’t get enough, whether it’s my own head keeping me awake or my also insomniac kids or my snoring husband…I do think that’s something we need to work hard on as a family.

Phew.

I’ve got an appointment today to tell the doc I’m simply not coping any more. We’ll see what happens…

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[Scattybird]

Let us know how your appointment goes.

I got my phone upgraded to a BB and it’s great for helping me stay on track. Well, it tells me what I should be doing – whether I do it or not is another issue. I am moving my life onto it and I book appointments in my diary. So it will ping and tell me I need to phone X or do Y. I now have a rule that everything goes in it. Of course it’s a dangerous game – if I lose it I’d be screwed.

Re sleep – try listening to the radio – world service kicks in when radio 4 goes to bed. I listen on an earpiece and have it so quiet I need to concentrate to listen. That often sends me to sleep and if nothing else it distracts me from my thoughts and anger at not sleeping. If I have it loud it doesn’t work and it must be a spoken station and not music. It helps me somewhat anyway.

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[Tiddler]

Thanks Scattybird.

It went well, in that the doctor is lovely, kind and understanding and has given me a new sick note to give to uni. Her hands are tied: the only doctor who will see me is the one I don’t want to see but she’s sending her a pleading letter asking that I don’t have to wait months to be seen. And maybe she’ll turn out to be okay, despite striking me off for missing an appointment I didn’t know I had…

Anyway, I’m depressed, but feel it’s completely situational and I’ll be able to climb out of the hole with some help and didn’t want anti-depressants because I don’t want to risk any sexual dysfunction side effects as god knows it’s the only time my head is ever quiet… That’s just too big a price to pay.

I love radio 4 – I always listen to it in the car. I’ll try that (if I remember!) Thank you. x

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[Scattybird]

Just as a cheeky thought Tiddler – if your GP said you’re depressed why don’t you ask her for a prescription for Straterra. We can get it in the UK – its ‘proper’ name is atomoxetine. It might be that an ADHD specialist has to prescribe it but since it’s an antidepressant you could always ask. It’s not a stimulant. She can only say no.

It sounds very positive that she’s going to try to get you to see the specialist – give it a go if you can.

Sorry if this sounds awful or a bit ‘forward’ – but when you get your appointment for the ADHD specialist, why don’t you post it on here and we can all TRY to remember with you and remind you before hand?

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[Tiddler]

Scattybird, you’re so lovely! Thank you.

I asked believe it or not! Either I wasn’t blunt enough or she avoided the question quite skillfully. I said that I knew the ‘ritalin type’ drugs were off licence but that atomoxetine wasn’t and I’d like to try that. She just nodded and said that she’d try to make sure the appointment came through quickly.

I read up on it. It is available to adults, but the NICE guidelines say that it’s only licensed to adults who were diagnosed as children. I didn’t think of approaching it as an anti-depressant. I have to go back to the doc in 2 weeks. I could try again then! Thank you!

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[Scattybird]

Well Tiddler, don’t get your hopes up in case she says no, but it sounds like she’s on your side. I read on my psychs web site that Straterra needs to be prescribed by a shrink but you could still ask. I read that it takes a while to work as it needs to get into your system – unlike the stimulants. Also it might be worth following up because I remember you posted that you’d had a heart problem (?) So they may prefer you on a non-stimulant. Of course I am not a GP but it’s worth asking. Afterall, if it was originally an antidepressent then it’s an angle to take.

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[Scattybird]

Hi againTiddler – just realised there are threads here on Straterra.

http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=1341

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[Tiddler]

Thanks.

I have been in casualty getting checked out for chest pains that woke me up at 5 this morning. Fortunately, they ruled out heart problems and blood clot – so that probably leaves stress.

I’ve decided to ask to defer at uni and my doc signed me off work for 2 weeks. I need to try to relax so that is what I am attempting to do.

LOL There’s a challenge in itself! However, I think it’s the best tool at my disposal at the moment. So I’m going to give it my best shot!

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[Scattybird]

You need long hot soaks in the bath completely undisturbed – with the hot water heater on so you can top it up at leisure.

Sounds like you may need to get the stress and depression treated as a priority. I know you believe it’s caused by ADHD and obviously someone needs to treat you for that, and I would agree anxiety is a big issue with ADHD – at least in my experience. But maybe relieving the stress is a starting point so you can then tackle the ADHD.

Of course I am only really thinking out loud – your doctors are the ones to get advice from. However, I am just thinking in terms of what ADHD meds have done for me. I would HATE to be without my ritalin. It keeps me emotionally regulated. It also helps me focus by quietening my mind. BUT I still have to tell myself to focus and I still have to make an effort. And despite taking it for a few months now, parts of my life are still falling apart although it does help me with the bits that I need to do to keep my job (hopefully – famous last words!).

I think I am just trying to say that even with ADHD meds, it still takes effort. They’re not a magic bullet but they do help. So maybe get rid of the stress a bit now and then the ADHD meds when you get some might work better? Just a thought.

But also, you are pretty amazing – you have children, a home, a husband, a job and on top of all that you’re doing post-grad studies at Uni. That’s enough to stress anyone out. Push yourself less and have those hot baths with no distractions.

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[Tiddler]

Thanks. You’re right. I like the idea of taking this time as an opportunity to tackle the stress before I get help, rather than letting the stress build while I’m getting frustrated about waiting. That makes sense.

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