parenting an \"adult\" child with ADD–so frustrating!!!

[teabaglady]

I say “we” because I have been involved from the beginning and also have taken part in a few of the sessions. However, because “M” is an adult, that is at the discretion of the therapist and also with my daughter’s permission. I could have been completely blocked but am grateful that I was not. I have noted, however, that the therapist seems somewhat disorganized and follow through just doesn’t happen, appointments are forgotten, and so on. The therapist does certainly try and sometimes goes above and beyond with the effort but often it seems to disintegrate to just having a nice chat about life. So between “M’s” slippery resistance and the lack of continuity from appointment to appointment, there is little in the line of progress.

As for her father being involved, he avoids this completely. From the moment that the psychiatrists informed him that this most likely came from him genetically, he wanted no part of it. He raised the topic with them as he wanted it to be my fault and in spite of having classic AHDH traits and learning disabilities, he is in complete denial wrt his own problems.

I wish I could convince her stepfather to get involved and learn about the problems she faces but he resists anything to do with understanding the issues or therapy. Personally, I think he is afraid of it. He has many demons courtesy of his mentally ill mother.

There aren’t many resources available locally and even those that are seem to be struggling. We have attended an adult support group for a few months now and it is not unusual for the 2 of us to constitute the majority of the attendees.

Wrt the issue of housework, the housework itself is not the point. I can manage that nicely on my own. ButI know that she would feel better if she would get up out of bed and be somewhat responsible and productive. It’s one of those things that is a vicious circle once it gets started and I know from experience that the less she does, the less she wants to do, the more bored she gets and the more useless she feels and so it goes. When she is on the move and has purpose and is being productive, her mindset improves radically. The trick is to get her motivated to move and yes, now that school is “over” and there isn’t that imposed structure, it has become next to impossible.

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