Self-indulgent rant: The post-diagnosis emotional journey does exist

[Scattybird]

Hi quizzical – I know exactly what you mean. To be told by someone nicely that you have ADD is the way to go. It’s a kind acknowledgement. For what it’s worth, it does sound to me (from reading your various posts) that you have it.

It was the harsh way I heard it that helped oddly – no strings – that’s how it is and from someone ‘down to earth’ – but now I have thought about it and seen your responses, I agree, harsh. If it had come from someone close I’d think they were just saying it to placate me. So for me it probably worked.

I too loved Bill’s comment – it’s wonderful.

I look forward to other people’s rants.

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[Scattybird]

Hi Nrgs – thanks for your update. That’s great news about getting through your to-do list. No worries about this being a rant page – you’ll notice we go ‘off topic’ all the time – we have ADD so we’re allowed to.

I found when I took too much Ritalin when I was playing with doses that I was very sluggish if the dose was too high. Now I can take that seemingly ‘high’ dose and feel fine. It also depends with me how tired I am. Today the Ritalin put me in slow motion because I stupidly went to bed very late last night.

One thing I have found which is great, is that I sleep well at night now. I never used to – but I think Ritalin wears me out!

The other thing is you may (or may not) notice a ‘crash’ when your last one wears off. I sometimes time that so I am about to go to bed, but if you take other meds that might be complicated. Alternatively, I find a strong coffee gets me over that crash.

However, the other thing I noticed is I recently changed from generic methylphenidate to the brand name Ritalin and oddly it doesn’t bother me when it wears off, but the generic used to leave me with a headache.

It is all trial and error – hopefully you’ll find a dose that suits you. Do come back with more questions if you have any and keep us updated with how you get on with it. I am always interested to hear how Ritalin affects people. I panic now about getting used to it and it not working anymore!!

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[Anonymous]

Scattybir, where do I find Foogols link? C :?an´t seem to find it.

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[Scattybird]

Hi Nrgs – you ought to be able to click on it and it should take you there. But I have just done that and I am not sure it is the right one for you or it’s misbehaving.

If you go to the home page – the forum home page – you should see a list of topics starting with:

I just found out.

Emotional journey.

Etc

Medication

Etc.

If you click on the word ‘Medication’ that will take you to another list. That’s a list of drugs and drug-related threads. Two of them are relevant to you –

Methylphenidate and Ritalin. If you click on the word ‘Ritalin’ that will take you to another page with a list of topic titles. The best thing to do is to just systematically read them and do the same for those hidden under Methylphenidate.

I hope that makes sense. If not, let me know and I’ll think of a better way to direct you there.

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[Anonymous]

Hi Foogol,

I did not read your post where you answered me . So so sorry. How impolitebof me. Truth be told I overlooked it somehow . Well , I guess that was my ADD acting out. Thanks for Dr. J’s link. You know, Scattybird, told me about your link , and herebI was asking Scattybird, where to find your link and you had already posted.

BTW Scattybird, thanka million for you input.

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[Anonymous]

As you all can observe, I have many many typos. Sorry guys!

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[Cyclone]

Thank you Scattybird. Really. I think I needed this as much as you did.

It’s been two months since my enlightenment. I completely understand where you’re coming from and I expect I have a long emotional journey ahead of me.

I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that you questioned whether it is real. I find myself doing the same. Am I a hypochondriac? Is it depression? I’ll resist the urge to rant right now (though I reserve the right to rant at 2:00 AM if I can’t shut my head off tonight), but I could go on like this forever.

Like you, I’ve been filling my head with everything I can find; reading books, papers, looking up web sites, etc. I just can’t know enough. I read it to know if I really have ADHD, and also to learn what to do about it. I’ve resisted the urge, so far, to regret my past or get emotional about it, but I get twinges of pain, anger, and regret now and then and it’s only a mater of time before it erupts. Actually, I did break into tears last week as I apologized to my wife for snapping at her while she was trying to help, but that could be a topic on its own. She’s been extraordinarily supportive. But now I’m drifting again…

Most of all, I want to thank all of you on this forum: Scattybird, toofat, quizzical, saffron, Shutterbug55, zsazsa, ashockley55 and so on, as well as Rick, Ava, Dr. Jain, Patrick and everyone else involved in this creating and maintaining this site.

Reading your posts, hearing your stories, getting your advice and sharing your experience has been the best part of my journey thus far. I only wish you were all closer. I wish we could get together and share these experiences over coffee (or beer, scotch, wine, whatever…). But the forum will do.

I worry sometimes about the journey getting harder, but I feel better knowing I am in good company.

-Cyclone

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[Scattybird]

Thanks Cyclone. I agree, Patrick, Rick, Dr J and Ava and the others involved have done a great job with this site. It is the best one around by far.

It’s interesting you question your ADHD too – so does quizzical so it must be something that a lot of us experience. It is comforting to know we are not alone.

It’s odd this emotional journey began with the diagnosis – before I skipped along being just chaotic me. But I think it couldn’t have gone on – my job changed and the issue became a problem. I think you experienced that too Cyclone – you mentioned that being your tipping point in a different post.

It is good you have support at home – your wife sounds great. Don’t worry about the journey getting harder – take each day as it comes and stay positive. You’re a ‘together’ guy from your posts – no need for that to change. But there’s nothing wrong with having emotional moments – just don’t stop believing in yourself.

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[Tiddler]

There was a tipping point for me too. Starting an MA and loosing all my work for the first module was a huge issue and I had to start facing some uncomfortable truths, especiallly as the same thing happened to me when I was doing my degree 20 years ago.

Knowing has helped in a lot of ways, despite the grieving process I’m going through and despite having no help yet (apart from this wonderful site.) l am proud of what I have managed to achieve instead of focusing on what I am bad at. I no longer get frustrated at myself for not being able to carry a mobile phone. Instead I think, hey I wonder how many other people manage without one these days! Or I am saving the family money by not using one!

And, although I’m struggling with depression, I think it’s been good for my mental health – in that I don’t fret and worry and get anxious over everything any more. And I think this is just something I have to go through rather than feeling like I can’t see a way out.

So the journey is pretty complex isn’t it! But the end result will hopefully be a peace with the situation and a way of moving forward with knowledge and self belief.

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[quizzical]

Thanks, Scattybird, for the validation! And it really did make me smile, along with all the other comments in this thread. For a topic that started as a “rant” it’s been one of the most uplifting ones to follow!

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[Cyclone]

I was going to say something very profound and insightful… but I forgot what it was 🙄

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[Scattybird]

Lovely. Thanks quizzical. Cyclone – you should put that on the twitter feed thingy.

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[kc5jck]

So I’m thinking . . . Scatty could print her awesome and most excellent rant with a title of something like “Scatty’s Rant” and sell it through the Totally ADD.com store. On the back side could be a reprint of the Desiderata. Perhaps Munchkin could produce a CD to go with it.

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[Scattybird]

😆

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[Author]

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