Should I or shouldn't I?

[Anonymous]

This would obviously not be a problem if I had dyslexia or some other form a disability, but we know that in this day and age, ADHD is very controversial. Nevertheless, I’ve been having incidents at work that might force me to reveal my ADHD. The problem is that I am not getting my assignments in a timely manner. Either the person responsible for assigning the task “forgets” or, more frequently, the assignment is sent to the wrong email address where it gets ignored. Most recently I learned a task had been reassigned to me several days ago, but I did not learn of it until 4 hours after the deadline had passed. Obviously, this is not my problem alone, but my concern arises from the appearance that I am always caught with my pants down. I feel I might need to “come out” to my supervisor and let them know that while this situation is not remotely my fault, I do have organizational problems that make me forget to check the schedule in a prudent manner. Is any of this making sense?

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[Wgreen]

Hey Guy—

First question: Where are you?

In some countries/U.S. states, you’d get some protection against losing your job were your boss to… “disapprove.” In other places, not so much. In any event, you would have a better sense of your “office politics” than the rest of us would.

I think it is always prudent—when possible—for ADDers (and others, too) to look for work in fields where they can flourish. Even though I know we have people on this forum who are, for example, accountants, I can’t imagine what that must be like for somebody with serious Attention Deficit. I know we live in difficult times. ANY job is a good job and perhaps a necessary one. Still, employment should be a win-win proposition for both employee and employer. If ADD is preventing you from meeting your responsibilities, perhaps you need to start casting about for something else to do. Either that, or see if your doctor can help you mitigate the ditziness.

A final thought—ADD is not something most people can get their heads around. If you’re missing a limb or have a visible disability, people understand and sympathize. Not so with ADD. Even on this forum, members who bunk in the “ADD-is-a-blessing” camp can’t imagine why others of us think of it as a horrible curse. So you’re flipping a coin: heads you win some accommodation, tails you’re fired. I suppose that begs a second question: Are you lucky?

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[Anonymous]

Thanks for the quick reply, Wgreen. Let’s answer the last question first – I do not feel lucky. In fact, I feel myself being pushed into a position where I give the appearance of being lazy, not on the ball, etc, etc. That’s how I lost my last 3 jobs (before I was diagnosed). So the specter of the cycle starting over again scares the pants off of me.

I’m in the US. I work from home as a contractor. When they send me work, I do it. When they think they send me work and I don’t know about it, I don’t do it. Being isolated, I really don’t know too much about the “office” per se, and so that kind of bothers me too. While I enjoy the work itself, I don’t know “how I’m doing” as a person. Additionally, the person giving me the assignments has repeatedly messed me up this way before, either leaving the project unassigned or giving it to someone else thinking they were giving it to me. It’s very stressful.

As far as medication goes, I am beginning to suspect that my biology is not suitable for the treatments. On a few occasions I’d get a calmness that would help me focus, but increasing the dosage just made me angry and irritable. There doesn’t appear to be a middle ground.

So I’m kind of stressing out over this.

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[Geoduck]

“Either the person responsible for assigning the task “forgets” or, more frequently, the assignment is sent to the wrong email address where it gets ignored. Most recently I learned a task had been reassigned to me several days ago, but I did not learn of it until 4 hours after the deadline had passed.”

NOT THE TIME!!! To do this now would only pin the blame for this HUGE mistake on you! Don’t get put into a position like that. If you do this now, everyone will forever blame every bad thing that happens on your ADHD.

Wait until there is nothing going on, no situation where somebody is looking for somebody or something to blame. I’ve told people about my ADHD during times when I’ve been complimented on my ability to think outside the box, or quickly under duress. Do it when there’s a situation that shows people how good ADHD can be, and then people will be more willing to think about helping you out when you need it. You kind of have to show why it’s worth it for them to help you out with it.

Does this make sense??? I got distracted about half-way through.

This is really not a horribly desperate situation, and you have a chance to do it the right way. Just be sure you don’t do it in a way that makes you, and others with ADHD a target for blame from here on out.

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[Geoduck]

Oh, and sure, the law will protect you, but I’ve learned that it costs you money to defend yourself. Tread lightly.

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[Anonymous]

Actually, it does make sense. I am proceeding with letting my superior know about my dissatisfaction with the way events played out and propose a solution to make it easier. I will not mention my ADHD until such a time as appropriate.

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[caper]

I’ve had only good response with telling people about my ADHD.

When I forgot to do something my lawyer’s assistant asked about, I emailed her to say thanks for reminding me & added this at the end:

p.s. earlier this year I was diagnosed with ADHD; it might help explain my absent-mindedness for you.

her reply:

Lol….you’re hilarious…I needed a laugh today…thank you

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[Anonymous]

GameGuy,

I agree with Geoduck. There is no need to bring ADD into the picture right now as it would only clearly fasten a ‘bullseye’ target on your forehead. Wait until you’ve done something fantastic to bring the ADD issue up. Then your colleagues will look upon your ADD with greater acceptance (maybe even envy- okay, that’s just plain crazy!) rather than seeing it as the factor that turns you into a ‘dud’ worker that can’t be counted on to do his job.

However, I would suggest that you bring up the current issue of the erratic delivery system that’s in place that is causing you to receive work assignments just hours before they are due (or even post-due!!). Let your superiors know that you always do your best to meet the deadlines for these last minute arrivals but you are concerned about the clients ‘take’ or view on these matters. They just might be the ones most affected/shortchanged by such treatment……so, can we work together to improve the assigning and delivery of work becomes more effective than the system currently being used? Then it becomes apparent that you’re not wanting to point fingers to deflect/assign blame for work that is late but rather one whereby you’re just wanting to do what is best for the client and the company. These days, it’s all about keeping the customer happy!

Nobody likes someone who off-loads responsibility for problems but they’re much more likely to be receptive of someone trying to problem-solve issues pertaining to the success of a business. These days, businesses count every penny!

Good luck! Sometimes, I wish I could work from home ’cause then I wouldn’t have to deal with manipulative and conniving people. (Did I have one of ‘those’ days? Maybe…. 😆 )

Let the boss know you are concerned that you are unable to properly address or complete the tasks in an appropriate manner because of the frequent mix-ups that have been occurring. you are more concerned with the message that is being given to your company’s clients.

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[Anonymous]

Hi GameGuy……..I spent almost my entire career in an office environment driving teams, and it sounds (if I got this right) like there is an administrative disconnect somewhere within your team, or it’s process(s), not an ADD issue?? If indeed you are not receiving your work “at all”, or receiving it, after the due dates….. that to me is a mechanical or process delivery issue. As team member I too believed my ownership was appropriate, but when others within the team, or a team process/system are problematic….that’s not a personal problem…..that’s typically a process issue, and that needs to be illuminated and addressed as such. I understand the disconnect, and that disconnect should not be a direct reflection on you, but…you seem to be the recipient !!! I have to say…… if you were on my team…….. you have identified an issue, or shortcoming in our “work process”….GOOD FOR YOU………well done!!

So What Next …

In most cases for me, at this juncture, it would be appropriate to raise the issue of the “project notification” process’s shortcomings, and it’s impact, on the customer, and the team productivity. I would be mindful to do it in a non-blaming/non-defensive way….these things usually require a bit of a sell job. I would be sure the principal players were ALL in attendance, and present not only the issue but a ‘potential viable solution” as well. Note….when presenting an issue….I found issues were best received when accompanied by a solution, plus… a tangible list of the benefits the solution will deliver. Providing a solution has a way of keeping the overall perception of the delivery positive!!! So GG as I see it… the issue (boiled down) is to present the issue and a solution to the “project notification” shortfall, both of which will better serve the goals of the team, and the needs of the customer???

Just my thoughts……..hope it helps.

toofat

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[Anonymous]

Based on the responses I had been given so far, I felt it was best to simply address the issue “as is” without bring up my ADHD – my concern was (and still is) that I frequently miss key parts of my instruction – I feel that I may need to find a way to accommodate for that and it may mean revealing my ADHD to my employers – what I don’t want to happen is to get into a case of “why didn’t you tell us this before?” and making the problem worse and creating (in their eyes) a person who not only never gets it right, but is too high maintenance to keep on.

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[Geoduck]

I hate office politics. This is really what is keeping you from directly telling them.

I think you eventually should tell them, just wait until a quiet moment arrives between this current mess (which has nothing to do with your ADD, and everything to do with someone else’s bad timing), and the next huge office drama.

As for finding a way to deal with it for now, you can take a small pad or pocket notebook with you and keep it at work. Write instructions down as you receive them. Just explain you want to get things down clearly. If you can’t do that, try the whole active listening thing (I usually hate this, because it’s somewhat corny, but it may work for you, in this case). When you get instructions, find a way to repeat them back to the boss, again, saying something like “Just so I’m clear, what you need from me is…” Active listening is also a great way to force yourself to pay attention.

When this all simmers down, and whatever solution to the last problem is working well, before the next problem arises, you might mention it. You also may be asked why your suddenly writing things down, or repeating questions, and if this last mess is out of the way, you maybe could tell them that you are working on your ADD.

Be careful to explain what it is, though. Twice now, when I’ve told people, they think I have severe depression or autism. I think one thought I was suicidal. People get their acronyms mixed up. LOL!!!

Good luck! Work sucks…ADD or no ADD. I’m so not looking forward to rejoining the workforce

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[Anonymous]

If I understand you correctly “TheGameGuy”, is that you have performance issues at work due to the fact that you have ADHD, causing you to have disorganization skills. And the fact that you are getting last minute work doesn’t help at all.

Let me answer with a question. Let’s say that you would not be an organized person for no medical reasons. Lots of people aren’t organized without having ADHD. How would you proceed? Tell a superior that you can’t perform because you’re not organized, and the fact that you get last minute work doesn’t help the cause?

I think I might understand the issue. Let’s say a 3 hour job is given to you 36 hours before, you could be able to deliver since it would take 6 hours for you to do in an “unorganized” way. But if a 3 hour job is given to you 4 hours before, you’re “screwed”.

My suggestion to you is this. Every time you get an assignment by email, evaluate how long it would take for you to deliver it, and double it in your head. Then reply to the sender indicating when you can give it back (with the doubled number).

If they get back to you saying it’s too long for any reasons, just let them know that you will do your best and that’s it. After a while when receiving constant emails from you about you getting double the time they expect you getting the job done, they get the idea that you are “slower” than anybody else and will start giving you more time for your tasks, or give the task to somebody else who’s quicker.

Results… You get less work, with the same paycheck.

So no. Don’t tell anybody you have ADHD at the office, follow my plan, and you’ll be fine.

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[Anonymous]

I like your suggestions, Mordillo. I have always assumed that I cannot mess up, that I have to be some sort of Superman. This has come from decades of damage caused by disappointing people.

But here’s the problem as I see it.

The first is that I have a great deal of difficulty absorbing all of the information required of a task. I miss important details and find myself with egg on my face because I misunderstood (this happened frequently at my previous jobs. It has not happened yet at my new job, though it has come close). So impatience leads to misinformation, which leaves me flat footed at an important juncture.

The other is that yes, I’m disorganized, again because of impatience and impulsiveness. I make assumptions and don’t plan carefully and sometimes paint myself into a corner. So I have to scramble because reality does not match up with my assumptions.

I guess the bottom line is that I cannot ask for assistance until I have a better understanding of what I’m doing to get in my own way and what is needed to fix it.

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[Wgreen]

Game Guy, you frame the problem perfectly—for many of us. (I have to say “many,” because the symptoms and issues of forum users seem to be all over the map.) We are unable to focus on a problem we don’t find intensely compelling. Because we can’t “read the whole report” or “do all the research,” we graze information and jump to conclusions. As adept as we may be at connecting dots, we often COMPLETELY fail to grasp the real problem or objective.

So what to do?

Well, if you believe researchers like Russ Barkley, there is NOTHING that ADDers can do short of taking some effective medication (or paying someone to stand over their shoulders to keep them on task). If medications don’t work, or their systems can’t tolerate them, they’re toast. Ditto for organization. Ditto for dealing with procrastination. Having more time won’t help, because ADDers will not turn their limited attentions to any project—particularly a large and/or tedious one—until they have to. When they’re finally wired in, they often can work as efficiently as the next guy; it’s just that they’re a day late and a dollar short. Unfortunately, in the case of ADD, a dysfunctional neurology generally trumps all non-pharmaceutical palliative strategies. Believe me, I wish that weren’t true.

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[billd]

I see some excellent points from Mordillo and toofat. Approach it as if there was no ADHD – there’s problems aside from that. And agreed – management in general seems to be more likely to take “complaints” well if you also offer your help or solutions (I’m paraphrasing here – he said it better)

With this:

>>Well, if you believe researchers like Russ Barkley, there is NOTHING that ADDers can do short of taking some effective medication (or paying someone to stand over their shoulders to keep them on task). If medications don’t work, or their systems can’t tolerate them, they’re toast. Ditto for organization.<<

I’ve re-read this stuff here a few times, and frankly, I think if you follow toofat’s thinking, you might just come up a hero, and a problem solver and be better off in the end.

I’d say attempt a solution generically without using ADD in there at all – I’d not mention it until the other bugs are worked out.

Someone else said only you know that office and the politics, etc. involved – they are correct……… time to analyze, take notes, draw up a plan, etc.

I fully DISagree. that’s not what he’s saying at all if you watch the whole seminar – (me, I’ve watched it several times and think I finally get it)

He’s stating that STANDARD methods won’t work, standard “punishments” won’t work, standard solutions, standard teaching methods. It’s true – things done to correct issues must be immediate with us, not a threat, not a plan, but here, now, instant, not in a few hours or days.

I watch and listen and have hope, not despair, finally, someone that understands, and if I take that, and work with it, the solutions are more likely to help. Don’t hand me something and send me home and say, here, go work on this……otherwise we’ll have to do xxx. Naw, that ain’t gonna work.

I actually have MORE hope now than ever after watching, learning, being here, and seeing a neuro-psych that is going to use a combination of all sorts of methods, including drugs, to work on the issues, and as he states, “make me truly shine” like he said I was capable of doing.

I guess some see his stuff and see a glass empty………. I see it as a glass that I can put all sorts of neat stuff in.

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