Struggling for Normality

[Anonymous]

all this talk of normal is funny when you look at the numbers.

most people fall under some form of weirdness (look at face book) so that the weird become the norm, and then normal is so rare that it becomes weird in it self making it look like this:

weird=normal (where normal is weird cubed)

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[Gryffindork]

I don’t know what Normal is, either. I suppose we look at the people who don’t seem to be late all the time, don’t forget to do important things, and seem to be paying attention, and call them normal. But ARE they?

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[MarkJ]

I’ve struggled in pursuit of normalcy all my life. Chasing what is inevitably an elusive illusion. Like the kind of mirage one sees driving down a blistering hot road on a summer day. Just when you get there…its gone, or changed, or wasn’t what you thought it would be in the first place.

I’ve spent tones of time and money and efforts to be normal and perceived as such. That everything is ok. And all I need is just a little more time, effort and speed to get to that place. Only to have most of it bite me on the butt.

As I look back, the irony is, the harder I tried – the worse it got. The worse it got, the more abnormal I looked. What’s even more worse, in some way, is how, I’ve equated; being normal equals happiness. For many of us, especially the ones who are undiagnosed-unaware, it’s tantamount to burning out on a giant hamster wheel or fighting an invisible gremlin that keeps letting air out of your tires.

Accepting, learning, understanding, and re-strategizing are some of the “ings” that I’m investing my energy into. Now that I know.

I’m still working on understanding the fog issue I often find myself in, as well.

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[powcat]

Dear CET,

This is a reply to your original post, before I get sidetracked by all the rest.

I’m really glad you verbalized this. I often feel like I’m crazy because I also work so hard to keep this precarious energy/ mood/ focus combination in balance. For that I need to eat right: some coffee and tea but not too much, lots of water, vitamins, no drugs or alcohol almost ever, enough protein at every meal – plus I must eat regularly but in small portions. Just remembering all these things alone feels kind of tiring…

Then, sleep. The hardest thing ever; and it needs to happen regularly in long-enough blocks of time (8-ish hours) — and at night! and avoided during the day, because that screws everything up.

I need sunlight, I need fresh air, I need to remember to talk to friends, blah blah blah.

Balance is SO. TOUGH.

What you said, though, reminded me of some lyrics I wrote recently:

“and you grow overwhelmed, just from feeling everything

and you need an hour’s rest, just from living

out, the details of the day”

Writing and singing are some of the main things that keep me happy and feeling good about myself.

Good luck to you, and to everyone else here, and as always, you are not alone.

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[powcat]

The other thing I’d like to say, after reading the rest of this thread:

CET, you mentioned words or conversations ‘penetrating’ only occasionally. Would you say you feel numb? Detached? Might you be experiencing depression? It can take different forms; sometimes it is more like numbness rather than intense sadness. Do you still have things you enjoy doing, people you like to see? I like what LOAFER wrote, I agree with them.

Anyway, if that sounds like you, maybe consider treating your depression before grappling with the ADD…. Therapy is always good for whatever ails ya (if you’re lucky enough to find a good therapist.)

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[Author]

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