Television Addiction

[ashockley55]

Robbo –

When I was in high school, I spent copius amounts of time in my room listening to the radio, up on my tip toes, doing this dancing-around-the-room sort of thing. I won’t call it dancing. It was more like frantic, listening to music movements. Again, I won’t call it dancing. If you’d seen it, you probably wouldn’t’ve called it dancing either. That’s what I did instead of homework. I did it for hours and hours, every evening, kinda late into the night. Then, tired, but still wired, I’d turn off the stereo because it was getting late, turn on the tv and try to settle down. I would lay awake until the wee hours of the morning.

So, what I’m saying is, I hear you on the music thing. Also, it’s just dawning on me how ADD my behavior was – spending hours just basically moving at a frantic pace, trying to burn off this energy I had. It didn’t work; I think I just built up more energy, and even though I was physically tired, I wasn’t able to get to sleep.

Tiddler –

Years ago, I got a copy of this book “The Highly Sensitive Person” and felt like I was reading my autobiography. I wish that book had a chapter titled “Hey, honey, go get evaluated for ADD. Seriously, it ain’t bipolar.” If I had only known that things like being hypersensitive, both emotionally, and physically, were aspects of ADD. (If only I had known my restlessness and tendency toward shopping were aspects of ADD, and not to the level of mania, but that’s for another thread). When I was younger, I hated, hated, *hated* the long-sleeved shirts my mama would make me wear with the seams that ran down my arm; I would twist them around, but they still didn’t feel right. I hated all my clothes. I still hate clothes. I hate jeans. I *loathe* jeans. I hate the way they feel – so rough and tight and hindering. I’ve decided to wear skirts now, so I can feel free. Here’s an embarassing thing – I used to hate underwear to the point that I wouldn’t wear it. Basically, I hate the feel of seams of any kind on clothing. Panty seams, the in seam on pants, on sleeves, etc. I hate sheets! I hate feeling like the sheet is holding me down on the bed, like I can freely move my feet. Don’t get me started on blankets, or even forbid the layering of sheets and/or blankets. I can’t handle it.

But you should check out that book if you haven’t already.

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[ipsofacto]

Just reading this thread again triggered a memory. Thirty years ago when I had the anxiety attack that first got me into meditation I noticed something I wouldn’t have normally. In the first couple of weeks before I got the anxiety under control again with relaxation response exercises, a lot of TV shows would trigger a rise in anxiety (the stomach cramps were a clear indicator). I wonder how much more tension we subject ourselves to by constantly watching exciting action/suspense shows? Anxiety seems to have a cumulative effect.

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[Tiddler]

Thanks. I don’t know about that one. I’ll look it up. Fortunately, I’m okay with seams, though I was fussy with my toe seem as a child. Blankets – aargh. Thank goodness for quilts, but ones with feathers in? How can anyone else sleep under them with their prodding pointy devilment keeping them awake?!

And when I close my eyes, light flickers and tremors behind them for ages if I’ve been on the computer, or even if I’ve just been outside near a street light.

We had to get blackout blinds because of the streetlight opposite our house.

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[nellie]

A few days ago I was just discussing this TV issue with a friend ( non-add) who is helping a friend of hers who she says claims to have ADHD ( so not sure if its “official”) move house. As they were packing, the ADHD woman had the TV on full blast so she could hear it all over the house. This drove my non-ADD friend nuts and she was complaining. I told her that I could relate to it since I did the same. I need it on all day for the background noise.

I’m at home today with a s***load of stuff to do and so am quite conscious all of a sudden of this as a result of the above conversation and reading this read . As as result I just realized that the program I select needs to be lively because it infuses an energy into the house so that I work with a bit more “enthusiasm” ! It doesn’t matter the subject really as long as it feels like there’s lots going on.

ashockley55 –

I would speculate that the ADD connection here is that it helps to boost our adrenaline production in order to get us moving and in to an awake state.

ANyway better go use that energy while it lasts and get something done with the rest of the day

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[ashockley55]

Tiddler,

Toe seams on socks! Agggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

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[laddybug3]

I get bored sitting watching TV so I walk around the table, sit on the floor, open a book, snap my fingers, move some more, or just have the guide on and scrawl down to see my choices for hours. What drives me nuts is ads. I forget what I am watching sometimes.

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[Tiddler]

lol at toeseams!

Laddybug, I forget what I’m watching too. It’s one reason I just don’t bother with tv any more. I’d channel hop and get immersed in something then remember that I was watching somethign really good on the other side but I missed it!

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[Robbo]

Wow, what an awesome thread. Every bit of it. I was working through some exercises on a grammar site, learning about all the different parts of speech etc. Needed a break. I’ve been reading for a couple hours maybe. Read all of this one. After a few funny threads.

I’m doing much better with the TV. A little too much Internet probably. I’ve been stuck at home a lot lately.

I’ve been to a lot of 12 step program meetings, and support groups. This thread is like a really excellent one. I’m in one again for axiety and depression, I need to start showing up. I just talked to a new therapist earlier. Good conversation, she has ADHD but is also a highly educated psychologist, it doesn’t seem like she’s got it real bad, I just don’t know. I’ll be printing out this entire thread. It’s that therapeutic for me. I may share it with her also. Already told her about this site. I could save her some time maybe.

Just wanted to bring this thread back up for some of the newer folks, there’s so very much help and compassion here. This is truly and huge and amazing group of folks. We suffer, we really do hurt a lot. But deep down we’re also extremely valuable people. We’re helping each-other survive a problem that can be every bit as bad as Dr. Barkley says it is. Fortunately I see the positive side that Dr. Hallowell talks about. There are many good doctors out there working hard on more solutions for us. While we help each-other out so well here in the mean time.

I’m super glad I haven’t listened to that nasty negative demonic pessimist part of my thinking. It says I don’t fit here. It lies. I’ve almost left this place more times than shame allows me to admit. That’s the self destructive part of my ADHD. Self destructive tendencies have been part of my diagnosis forever. I’m paralyzed because I chose to ride my motorcycle to work at a restaurant instead of my truck. The accident was just before midnight on friday the 13th sept 96. I never even took that bike on the highway. It was the last stop light before going into the foothills of the Santa Cruz mountains where I lived in a 5th wheel trailer. I never have blamed myself. I was just stopped at a red light. Got hit from behind. The pickup truck was just too boring when I had a motorcycle begging me to ride it. I could cruise along the ocean after work and stop anywhere to roll a cigarette. I loved that bike, I loved that paradise I lived in too. I could walk out the door and be in the redwoods in 5 minutes, no houses, no people. A river, clean enough to still have steelhead in it across the street. I would jump on my Honda elite scooter in nothing but a shorts and a helmet most mornings. Then have my coffee on a sandy bank a quarter mile up the road. So, PTSD is coming up for me lately. Not from losing the life I used to live so much. All the worst case scenario hospital stays I’ve been through. Cheating death again and again. I don’t even know how many surgeries I’ve had.

I got the creeps reading one of my posts in this thread. Cuz I’ve had diarrhea again for the last week. I was watching a youtube thing about vegetarian/vegan lifestyles today. Being vegetarian almost killed me because of the anemia some people get not eating meat. Of course there’s more reasons I had so many pressure sores. Smoking, and not just cigarettes. I work hard at forgiving myself for that. Diarrhea is sometimes part of the way our body cleanses itself. I’m not sick… physically anyway. I didn’t plan on writing so much. But this thread is like so many of the best support groups I’ve been in over the years. It brings it out of me. Like diarrhea. Instead of diarrhea of the mouth. I’ve got diarrhea of the fingers… Thanks for the patience. I’m just really feeling bad lately. I don’t like to admit it.

I love the idea of taking pictures of trees from a circling merry go round. Photography is a lot of fun. Whelp, gotta stop. Maybe after I edit this I’ll feel better about posting it.

Nope. I hope I don’t regret spilling my guts here again. I’m not really asking for help. Just letting out my crud. I’ve seriously got almost nobody I can really talk to. Getting back into therapy is a long slow process. Very difficult. Like opening a can of beans with a swiss army knife. Or maybe just a can of mystery, no label.

I’m glad I feel like it’s safe enough to share here. Fear and courage make us grow, at least I hope so.

I will force myself to get outside tomorrow. Talk to some people. That’s a promise.

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[ipsofacto]

Tiddler, Have you got the glasses yet? Do they make reading music easier?

I hadn’t heard of Irlen or scotopic sensitivity syndrome before, so I looked it up.

Although medication has helped me in many ways, one of my disappointments has been that there has been no improvement in ease and comprehension of reading. Have been reading about this syndrome all day. Seems it is not well established in the US as a diagnosis, but in the UK and other countries it is considered on a par with dyslexia.

My daughter developed Celeac disease thirteen years ago. At that time the AMA thought it was extremely rare, so we were lucky to have a European pediatrician. These days the estimates are down to 1 in 136 having the disease in the US. So the fact that Irlen isn’t well recognized in the US doesn’t surprise me as there is money in for the drug companies.

I spent some time using different background colors and pasting in blocks of hard to read text (Robbos post worked rather well 😉 ). Seems like pink is my color. It is so much easier to read. This could also be dyslexia I guess.

So thanks Tiddler. I’ll be checking scotopic sensitivity syndrome out further

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[ashockley55]

I have diarrhea of the mouth and….the other. A lot. I’ve gotten used to the….other diarrhea more so than the mouth diarrhea. I think it’s easier to accept our body than it is to accept our brain. Just like it’s easier to accept, believe, and treat physical conditions than it is to do so with mental conditions.

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