The struggle to maintain friendships…

[trashman]

hi, for what its worth I went to gmail and I open anew account as Trashman824 @gmail.com , so know I can receive messages from any of you. I had to add the 824 to my name, because just Trashman was taken.

thanks Trashman824

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[Robbo]

Well written allan,

I don’t mind it when people use words I have to look up. You’ve got a cool writing style. Good job on the self restraint too. It’s a great thing when you can treat people that don’t like you with real kindness and respect. It freaks them out in a good way; sometimes it can give them some relief from feeling all those negative emotions that have blamed you for. It would be especially fun if you manage to make her laugh.

Change the world, one negative person at a time.

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[ipsofacto]

It would be useful to have personal messages available on the forum. This saves people having to post their email address.

There are thousands of machines data mining the net for email addresses. Don’t be surprised to see your junk mail folder bulging at the seams 😉

If you do post email addresses, disguise them a bit eg. forgetfulfreddy aaaattt hotmail dottt communist (that’s not mine BTW)

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[Misswho23]

It seems that “Hiya” seems to be something Australians say? I just comment because Allan Wallace is the second person I know in Australia. Well sort of know. My other friend also uses “hiya” that I know from another forum place. And or foreign LOL Forum, foreign get it? So baaaad.

After reading some of the posts on this thread I realized too there are people I let go to the way side. I have this conversation about when I’ll see them again (in my mind) and it seems to register as actually having talked to them. So made an effort to touch base with a few people to let them know I’m doing well and see how they are doing this week. I forget to ask sometimes when I’m busy with my update. But was better at remembering to do so this time around.

On the flip side the social group of friends I’m a part of we just refer to ourselves as “the group” are booking up every weekend with either birthdays, concerts or whatever else they can think of to party over. Although each year the end of the night get a half hour earlier. One of these years we are all going to be heading off to the early bird specials at the buffet line.

I had to cancel my almost annual Tiki party because one of them decided to have their 40th birthday on the same day. Just as I was about to hit send on my invite. Damn people turning 40. Oh I know the moaning over too many social engagements. So sad Miss Who.

But I do have to watch how much stuff I go to otherwise I let other things slip or get snarky when I’ve seen too much of “the group” and I don’t even drink at the moment. Point is I’ve realized with this ADD thing there can be too much of a good thing and when to check in with myself if I’m overloaded and need a break from the party circuit. Although it is fun watching my friends do stupid humane drunk tricks and I won’t be the one hungover. Ha, ha, ha. Ok so I take joy in other peoples pain. Kidding.

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[allan wallace]

Hiya! lol Thanks guys! Well, apart from being my usual loser self at a new temp job, my wife and I are getting along just dandy again…I felt terrible after after being too candid with some remarks a few days ago. I apologised to her and told her how terrible I felt, and that irrespective of how sad or disappointed people get me I feel it so much more acutely. I am going to try and be nice to her all of the time, even when she’s not being particularly nice to me, and so far it has been wonderful!

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[Misswho23]

Someone once told me if ya can’t deal with them then Kill ’em with kindness. This was referring to dealing with customers.

I’ve had to came to terms with how my ADHD moods come across. Sometimes my boyfriend would comment about me being angry or getting pissy. Which would make me more so. And sometimes it’s him. So after I explained that some of my moods are just that. Only moods that will pass I’m not actually that angry or pissed off. And yes had to learn to use my words.

Took him a while of sitting back and just waiting to see what mood would come flying out. And I got tired of always being thought of as the “dramatic” one.

But after learning more myself and then filling him in he gets it. And we have cues that we say to each other to let either of know that this is just a passing mood I’m in or no I’m really freakin’ upset and we need to discuss this. We used to fight all of the time and come to think of it we haven’t in a long time. We get irritated with each other but that’s when ADD can be good. Sometimes I forget I was irritated.

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[allan wallace]

LOL Yeah, I hear you loud and clear on the last bit! I’ve given my wife a surprise hug or peck and then cringed as the look on her face reminded me that we were supposed to be fighting! I don’t seem able to hold a grudge either, even if I’d like to! I have so much to learn about ADHD. Obviously I think that I know myself quite well, but then again, perhaps I don’t! The only thing in which I have a degree of certainty is that as I’ve aged my ADHD has become worse. I try not to let the obvious depress me too much: it’s not going to ever get any better’. I have clung to the diminishing hope that I’d grow out of this one day’ for too long, and I am still coming to terms with the reality that the best that I can hope for is a degree of understanding of this affliction…

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[kc5jck]

A grudge is like the garbage, we just can’t remember to carry it out.

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[allan wallace]

😆 Heh, so it’s not just me then?

I’ve been avoiding any contact with my dad in Scotland too. I was about a month late in sending him a birthday card (his birthday is in July) and I swore that I’d send it at the end of August along with a letter…I still haven’t done it with October looming. I feel bad about it, and don’t know if there’s any point in sending a card at all, because by the time I get around to it his next birthday will be rolling in. So far I’ve blamed being unwell with the flu, my kids holding me up with their letters, external issues with the demands of modern life, and even my poor long-suffering wife for delaying me. I’ve hardly had any contact with him throughout my life, and I’ve sort of justified it to myself with thoughts like’ well you bastard, I never heard from you for years, so you can wait until I get around to it and have no right to be grumpy etc’….that’s not cool.

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[kc5jck]

Send him a check for $10 to get a hamburger or something. Tell him that since the first check you send hadn’t cleared, you decided that he didn’t get the card you sent last month. That’s what I would do. 🙄

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[allan wallace]

Nah, I’ll post it when I get around to it. Next week 😯

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[trashman]

Hi all. just for a laugh. I set up this gmail address so if some one end me a wanted to send me a message you could. but as sone that as I did that I forgot the password. now i am having trouble getting in.lol

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[Carrie]

Thats a really good idea Trashman! I have the same 3 passwords I use for different websites. So if its not one, I try the next and so on hahahahaha

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[allan wallace]

I keep it simple: 2 passwords for everything!

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[Author]

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