The Forums › Forums › Tools, Techniques & Treatments › To Err Is Human, To Dwell On It Is ADD
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December 17, 2010 at 7:14 pm #97183
AnonymousInactiveDecember 17, 2010 at 7:14 pmPost count: 14413I am new to my diagnosis but not new to how I have treated myself for 36 years and I too have found so much comfort in music – even before my clarity. Two songs that can rip me from hysteria that is always self created is Eminem’s Not Afraid…
‘Yeah, It’s been a ride…
I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place
If you’re trying to get out, just follow me
I’ll get you there’
-this hits me in that learning about this later in life, I have been consumed by regret, guilt and sadness…but I had to go to that place to get to this one – knowing my diagnosis and with medication, I have NO doubt I will be all that I ever wanted to be and then some.
‘I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Holla if you feel that you’ve been down the same road’
-this reminds me to reach out and lean on others – once I am hole again (currently I am in Therapy wrapping my head around my past, forgiving myself and letting go), I will share my story in the hopes of helping just one person.
The 2nd song is “Each Tear” by Mary J Blige…
In each tear
there’s a lesson, (there’s a lesson)
Makes you wiser than before (wiser)
Makes you stronger than you know (stronger)
In each tear (each tear)
Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak
Can take away what you’re meant to be
You’re much more than a struggle that you go through
You’re not defined by your pain, so let it go…
You’re not a victim, you’re more like a winner
And you’re not in defeat, you’re more like a queen
-I honestly feel like Mary is talking to me…yes, we must understand and learn from our past, as Adders, we have to learn to let go because our past actions do not define who we are…very hard pill to swallow, at least for me.
I made a CD because music moves me…check out some of these lyrics…
“Your fucking perfect” – Pink
“Stripped” – Natasha Beddingfield
“I am alive” – Dave Matthews and Kenny Chesney
“Sweet Serendipity” – unsure of artist
Well, just happy beyond words to see the world clearly and slowly. To talk to people and actually listen. To know me – to honestly look hard and see who I am and like it. This has been the most profound thing in my life – but the most terrifying. Each day is new and each day is filled with happiness. That constant dark cloud, gone most of the time and when it comes, I know it will go away!
Michelle
REPORT ABUSEDecember 17, 2010 at 8:40 pm #97184
AnonymousInactiveDecember 17, 2010 at 8:40 pmPost count: 14413gforcewarp9,
Thank you for saying that! I recently started spending a lot more time with someone who’s been going through a lot of the same stuff. She’s also ADD, she knits, and she’s very goofy, and the stark contrast between the support I get from her and what I’ve been used to over the years has really made me start to think. I know that the people in my life are good people, BUT they are interested in a lot of things that I’ve become less interested in over the years, and the hobbies I want to pursue more (poetry, my ukulele) are not hobbies they have much interest in. So I find myself often torn- I still really love video games, board games, anime, etc. but there are only so many hours in a week and my more creative pursuits bring me a lot more joy. As an ADDer I spread myself way thin in terms of interests and I stress myself out trying to please everyone and do everything.
I can relate to the student loan thing though- I owe the gov like $25k still and since my money habits are poor at best, it’s going to be a long time paying it off. I also really don’t make very much money doing what I do, and because I work in video games, there’s no clear “next step” for me- I’m kind of flying by the seat of my pants.
I think I’m getting more out of coming onto this messageboard than I have gotten from my many months of therapy, because there are wonderful people like you here!
Oh, did I also mention Gregorian Chant? Gorgeous! I highly recommend for anyone looking for inspiring background music.
And showtunes.
REPORT ABUSEDecember 17, 2010 at 11:14 pm #97185
AnonymousInactiveDecember 17, 2010 at 11:14 pmPost count: 14413You have some cool interests Megatron. Funny I was thinking of adopting the name Optimus Prime for my user name but I want to be upfront so I just put my own name. As for student loans I understand. I owe twice as much as you and have been using deferments for years to put it off because I never was in a stable enough financial state to even begin paying them off and now that I’m on disability I filled out a form in an attempt to have my loans discharged based on the fact that I’m on disability. The results came back that if I for the next three years don’t make more than a certain amount of cash which at this point I have no chance of doing they will discharge them permanently. so for now I’m safe though I don’t want to languish in poverty for three years just to get 50k off my back. frankly i feel that those loans should be canceled for the sincere reason that adhd or not my degree ain’t worth crap. it was useless to me in job hunting and i learned more from reading on my owh and watching the history channel or pbs than i did in those classes. i should not have to pay for a defective product and don’t even get me started on wanting the best years of my life back.
REPORT ABUSEDecember 18, 2010 at 12:07 am #97186I like you allready Megatron!
I did choir and loads of musical theater growing up, and I play guitar and sing so YEAH music. Yeah ukulele, gregorian chant–and baroque and Showtunes! (and really lowd rock n`roll)
I don`t know what you do in terms of making video games, i.e: graphics, writing, editing, creating, etc, but surely those skills and abilities will be applicable to other careers, movies and animation perhaps (stupid question mark still not working…argh!)
No one is saying that your freinds are bad, (o.k I guess I did tell you to ditch them– but only because they didn
t sound too supportive.) but it sounds like your just finding out who you are and figuring yourself out and they don
t get it. We all just need to be around people who get us–or are at least willing to suspend judgement– and support us, that`s all. Your knitting friend sounds good!Also, you can have different groups of freinds. It sounds like you feel guilty that you might be moving on from them. You don
REPORT ABUSEt have to totally move on from them, they aren
t bad people as you say, you`re just cultivating other interests and other friends. There is nothing wrong with that.February 18, 2011 at 9:57 pm #97187
AnonymousInactiveFebruary 18, 2011 at 9:57 pmPost count: 14413This is my new favorite saying! I use is all the time, I also have it up on my walls! it is so true!!!!
REPORT ABUSEFebruary 23, 2011 at 9:13 pm #97188
AnonymousInactiveFebruary 23, 2011 at 9:13 pmPost count: 14413On the music issue, I have found my favorite soothing/stimulating moments are listening to Baroque music. It started with the “Mozart theory” for stimulating intelligence several years ago. I thought it would help my concentration in then undiagnosed feelings of absent-mindedness and raging SELF- FLAGGELATION over minor mistakes and repeated memory lapses.
Coming from a rock background, I wonder if this is my brain trying to calm down of if I’m just getting old {now 63!!}. I definitely feel more comfortable in the moment with that music in particular…Does any of this work for ADD therapy particularly, or is it just taste for recreational listening?
The raging at mistakes and impulsive responses to other peoples’ input is often embarrasing and counterproductive. Since I’ve just started my journey with this approach. I’m pleased to compare notes and insights on all the variations we seem to attribute to ADD..
Thanks for sharing folks..
REPORT ABUSEFebruary 26, 2011 at 3:44 pm #97189
AnonymousInactiveFebruary 26, 2011 at 3:44 pmPost count: 14413Hey mega and gforce,
just had to chime in on the friendship thing. I’m a 50 plus year male and have a phenomenal pile of friends and acquantances. Recently, as my ADD started to become more and more problematic over the past 20 years, my closest buds gave me “what for” because of my procrastination, always being late, not calling them enough, always being busy, basically not keeping them 1st and foremost. They didn’t accept my ADD excuse, and even claimed that I was less ADD than them (I don’t think they have a clue). Well, I’ve kind of let them keep their rotten attitudes and now I have dropped them; not totally but I’m not putting myself through that kind of crap. I think there is something very likeable about my ADD side, but it comes with other issues. If my friends can’t accept the whole package, then it’s their loss.
enjoy reading your posts. Keep em coming.
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