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Okay. Thanks, brother Scattybird.
Sorry for highjacking this thread you guys, please forgive. Back to the Wellbutrin stuff. And some good news for a change.
About a week ago (or more I think, I dunno) my GP doc called me back after I called him about changing the dosage of the Ritalin (the generic stuff) Not a good conversation, he didn’t want to up the dosage. I got pissed off and critical about the whole health care system. Took it out on a good doctor by accident. After taking quite a bit of my abuse he said “if you don’t like the healthcare we’re providing, you can go somewhere else” Crap!!!, stunned… I just paused, then said “GOT IT!”. I didn’t really yell, but it was a very angry loud tone. Then I hung up! (I think, it’s a faded crap memory… and mistake, so I thought…) Reading this as I edit this post hurts a little. He’s a good guy.
So a few days later I show up for the ADHD support group the social worker told me about, it’s a Gamblers Annonymous meeting!!! I already talked about that one here, but they invited me in and it was actually a good experience. I’ve never gambled. I talked about my “adrenaline junkie” high risk stuff, they could relate easy. Invited me back too! LOL. I clowned around a little, we do that huh?
So my GP doctor called me yesterday morning, I missed the call, I was here ramblin on, posting all over this place… at 3:00 I realize I had a couple voice mails, I sometimes don’t hear the phone over the loud music. So I call the doctors office to leave a message, the gal said to wait, she’ll see if he has time to talk to me… Wow!, that’s weird I thought… very unusual for sure! This guy is busy, works his butt off!, GP doctors like this man who take medical/medicare, and probably all the new Obama Care patients too are the real hero’s in medicine. The PA’s & NP’s are too. JMHO. So I actually got to talk to him! Amazing!, he said that he talked to the psychiatrist (apparently he listened to my scream for help disguised in a angry rant the last time we talked) And she/they decided to put me on the long acting ritalin, that’s what I asked for on the last call, after he didn’t want to up the ritalin. And to cut the dosage of Wellbutrin in half, I could pick up the prescription as soon as I get there. It was too late in the day, but heck… I was blown away that he actually helped me at all after I was so mean spirited on the phone last time. He was really hearing the angry ODD part of untreated ADHD. (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) So tuesday I’ll be even more on my way to getting well.
Amazing… It’s insane but I almost feel guilty because I’ve read about how others have been through much worse than I have trying to get diagnosed and treaded. Like on this thread. Check it out. Feel some gratitude and compassion.
http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=1267 I called that thread “totallyadd Gold”
My self appointed place/position here is “the resident pig, looking for truffles” wadiya think?
Now playing : Politician Cream 20th Century Masters. How funny, It’s politics that’s hurting our health care so much… A sickening ugly kind of turn your head sideways like a dog, funny. NOT FUNNY MAN!
sat 3:21 pm 2/18/12
REPORT ABUSEI think that the wellbutrin might be helping me more now that the prozac is completely out of my system. That may have been the wrong medication for me all along since my depression was a result of the wreckage ADHD has caused in my life. I’m also taking ritalin now, I think the combo of wellbutrin with the generic ritalin (methyphenidate’s) might be good enough. I think it’s been about 3 or 4 months.
I just have to be willing to take the dang pills on schedule, n quit being rebellious about keeping this thing simple. Part of me is very sick of medications. I think that’s my pride, it’s actually just as easy to swallow as the pills. The rest is a matter of education and acceptance of certain limitations on how fast I’m able to learn new ways to do life. I would like to get more help from medications. I’ll ask my doc for 5mg methylphenidate 4 times a day instead of 3, but I think I should just try to be satisfied with the little bit of help I’m getting thus far with medication. I won’t let myself get caught up in the endless search for the right combo of pills. Being satisfied with my progress is the real work now. I’m not even that sure I want to increase the dose, I’ll decide in a couple weeks when I see my doc.
The education about ADHD might be finally sinking in. Less struggling to get what I want but can’t have is allowing me more energy to succeed in new ADHD friendly goals. My poo still smells, I just have better ways to deal with it. I just talk with you guys.
It’s still not true that “I just needed to try harder”, I just need to try different. A long term result of spending time here reading is seeing what symptoms are really ADHD, and what symptoms are not. I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but it’s possible to have terrible ADHD, and also have some tendencies to be really lazy!. Shoot you guys, we’re all human. One of my biggest obstacles has been blaming too many of my human problems on ADHD. It’s just not the all in one excuse I kinda felt thrilled to find out about in the beginning. I also have less anger about being misdiagnosed, maybe I got diagnosed by a stupid, lazy, n crazy person!. Who doesn”t even have ADHD to blame it on, huh?, stranger things have happened to weirder folks…
About half of the problems I’ve struggled with were not strictly ADHD. It was me taking bong hits instead of dealing with life when I was 17, unlike all the kids with parents that… umm, never mind. Almost started blaming my parents again, whoops!.
I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but definitely used to, and sometimes still do struggle with that crap. Various addictions have taken their toll on my ability to succeed. I still get distracted by curvaceous ladies, less though
, I probably have low T!, but I don’t give a rats butt. I think I’ve gotten too carried away with self diagnosis, and excuses. Endless time spent focusing on me me me!. It turns out I’m just another screwy human being fighting for my place in the world. My Ego want’s to be special, and focus on how gifted I am, but I’m finding it easier to let go of wanting to be famous. It’s not the end of the world to be just another regular dude. Trying to make the world just a little bit better on my path. Humble as it my turn out to be. I’m not longer worried. We all struggle to drag our scraggly butts outa bed in the morning, that’s the human condition for about 70% of us isn’t it?. I’m okay with my life not turning out to be a super dooper action adventure story. I’ll sure have some adventures in spite of my regularity I’m sure, maybe I’ll catch a few totally tubular barrels sometime in the next few years, (that’s surfer lingo if you didn’t recognize it). I’ll let ya’all know if that happens.
Hmmm, maybe I’ll start writing a blog just like almost 2 billion other folks on the Internet… nah, I’ll probably just write long posts here like I’ve always done. Just a lil less. Sound cool you guys?, okay, good. TTYL
Peace
wups! almost forgot, today is 7-11-12.
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