What if it's how other people treat us that's the biggest problem?

[allan wallace]

Fabulous, your comments beg the question ‘what are the strengths, or positives of ADHD?’ The focus does emphasise the impediment aspect of this condition, and we’re all familiar with the negativity that we encounter every day. What are some of the benefits of ADHD? Or, even one benefit. I cannot think of any…

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[Fabulous]

LOL, Allan, I guess you are not among those who answered “my ADHD is a gift” on the poll?

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[allan wallace]

Heh, I didn’t know that there was a poll! 😆 No, I certainly don’t consider ADHD to be a gift! I consider it to be a curse… 😯

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[Fabulous]

I keep flip-flopping on that one, Allan. When I think in innovative ways or when I hyperfocus on a project so much that great results happen, I feel incredibly blessed to be such a wonderful freak. But when I miss an appointment or embarrass myself by not keeping up in a group conversation, I start wishing I were ‘normal’ — and then I consider meds again. Do meds = our normal? Is this a fallacy? I better go; I feel a tangent coming on. 😯

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[Tiddler]

Hi Allen

I don’t think there are benefits to ADHD. I think it sucks. BUT I think everyone has things they find hard and things they find easy, regardless of whether they have ADHD or not.

In my environment, now, the fact that my brain goes off on tangents all the time, makes connections between things quickly, leaps from idea to idea is working well for me. But that’s THIS environment. Every other place I’ve been in my life, that kind of thinking has been a problem.

BUT I think the problem is that my way of thinking wasn’t valued or respected, because in school we were expected to learn in a linear way, at work I was expected to work in a linear way and so on. I’m NOT linear. Neither are most people with ADHD. Neither are most people with dyslexia or dyspraxia either. We’re a hell of a lot of people between us. These ‘defective’ people. What if we’re NOT defective?

What if schools no longer expected students to learn in a linear way? What if they valued questions and let kids bounce and move around when they were learning? What if they let kids learn what they wanted to learn when they wanted to learn it (in an unschooling approach similar to John Holt advocates?) What if the SYSTEM was different?

What if I had learnt in that kind of environment? I know what would have happened. I’d have SOARED. Because:

I wouldn’t have been told I was a nuisance.

I wouldn’t have been told I was stupid.

I wouldn’t have been told off for doing things that were just part of how I learned.

I would have learnt faster.

I would have been happy.

So was the problem me or the fact that I spent my llife trying to be a ‘me’ that didn’t fit?

Because I’m learning like that now. And I don’t need the ritalin any more.

I still screw up. ADHD does that. But other people screw up too. They just don’t have society telling them THEY are screw ups. There’s a difference – I make mistakes. I am not a mistake.

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[Tiddler]

Re the references – I’m at the tail end of a piece of work on this. I’ll post my bibliography (or maybe even the whole piece if I’m allowed.)

But remind me – I am likely to forget.

I don’t need to explain why. LOL

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[Anonymous]

Tid……I agree with the premise of your post (always have)……environment environment….circumstances circumstances…..nurture nurture…..I believe these pieces combined, tend to define our life experience, shape our perception, our expectations, and as a result our reality and beliefs……. ADD, or otherwise.

Many times here I have posted Re: My Children (now 29 & 31)…..both ADD as am I, and their experience(s) in their ADD world. My children (as I’ve said) were raised in an very ADD positive house/environment….hence they were communicated with/to in ADD positive terms all their lives. With that positive communication they came to understand “the difference”….and see it from a non-negative, very positive perspective. They did/do encounter similar issues to every other ADDer (we have our weakness/frailties)…but what they do with it is…is mostly constructive….not damaging, the rest we talk out!!! Simply understanding, the relationship between who they are and the environment they live in affords them a totally different experience, perception, expectation……….and reality, and beliefs. They know they don’t fit exactly the same as the vast majority, and they don’t care….it makes them unique and interesting, especially when those bits are accompanied by positive self esteem and self image!!!. Both of them are socially sought after, successful in their endeavors (occupational/educational)…..and revel in their ability to see so much more than most of their peers…..and as such have a much larger more complex understanding of the world.

So there you go Tid…..your “what if” questions rings true…at least in our/my very very positive ADD house.

One (the younger) is still in university, working on a second degree (Education Degree)…her first degree was English…which is the type of degree that the ADD mind is geared towards….such as research and analysis, the argument and evidence world..where questioning and debate are lauded traits…. .PERFECT!! The second is in “the trades” a fabricator/welder…..which again, calls for hours and days of very detailed focus, and imagination, the ability to see the end before the work starts…..and the steps (all the potential steps) required to take a project to fruition, precisely. These skills are are enabled (or can be) by an ADD type processing mind.

So yes Tid…nuture, environment, circumstance, perspective…..all make a difference……and can make the difference…..fly or not!!!

I appreciate what you were layin’ down Tid………. by the way…here is the reminder you asked for….

Toofat

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[Carry]

Thanks for pointing this thread put to me, toofat!! What a wonderful example of the advantage of knowing about it at an early age! You can give your kids everything they need, so they can work with it! Then it’s not so much a disorder, because you don’t have to let it come to the point where it frustrates your way of functioning! Love it!! and Kudo’s!!

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[Author]

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