When a family gives up on you

[Anonymous]

It’s sad. I was not able to hold down jobs both in NYC and here in Miami because of my combined diagnosis of adhd and anxiety. I ended up on disability. For awhile I was relieved to not have to worry where the next check was going to come from but I soon wanted to get back on the horse. ‘m still young and don’t want my life to pass me by. Everytime I try to do so I have to fight against my family. They want me to stay on disability for life. They argue that I have “limitations” that I have to accept. They fly into hysterics saying that I will lose my disability and my job and be left with nothing. They automatically assume that even with all the help and therapy that I have received that I will still fail. They just gave up. The whole hypocrisy about it is that they treat me like shit because I don’t have a job but then don’t want me to try and get one. My Mom got sick and I had to take care of her. I had to be the man of the house to do so but because I don’t live the life she had planned out for me when I was a child she never let me. She wanted me to be in a servile role rather than the role of the head of the house despite the fact that she was rapidly slipping both mentally and physically. She died in august of 2007. I thought I would be free to persue my dreams but that same month and year was when the economy started going south so there were and still are no jobs to be had no matter where or how ard I look. I feel trapped. Nothing has changed. My sister her husband and my Mom’s female partner who I live with still don’t think I should persue any full time jobs but stick with part time crap that won’t affect my disability. They assume that past is prologue. because I fucked up before I will fuck up again. I have no one in my corner accept a therapist who is trying his best to help. Another bad thing is that my sister’s husband was the son my mom always wanted because he gave my mom what she always wanted. A man with a professional job and with the help of my sister he gave her grandchildren. He always had money whenever it was needed. All I had was my manual labor which my mom expected but didn’t always appreciate. I know this because many times even before she got sick she would get our names mixed up wishing that I were him or he were me. What few friends I had I never introduced to my Mom because I didn’t want her embarrassing me with her lack of faith in me in front of my friends. I feel trapped in a prison. I keep applying for jobs but like I just said there are none to be had. I feel trapped with my youth ebbing away. I try to write a book. So far I’ve been rejected by agents. It’s a hard industry to break into, but its the only thing I know. I worked as a security guard for two years at a school. When I told my sister that I was going into it she flew into hysteria. She believed that I would fail. I proved her wrong by lasting two years there before leaving for lack of promotional opportunities and the fact that the kids had gotten out of control. Though she never apologized or said congrats for lasting as long as I did. I’ve been called a fag, a pussy, an asshole you name it but the worst thing I’ve found that you can tell a peson is I don’t believe in you, in your hour of need you’re on your own.

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[powcat]

That sounds shitty.

Just my two cents, you gotta get out of there. I know you have no job or money and it seems impossible, but I think if you make it a priority, your life will start to improve. As long as you live with people who are negative, who don`t support you or believe in you, you are not going to succeed.

I had to go on welfare and go to food banks for a while when I first moved out of my moms but it was well worth it and, though Im still pretty poor, I have more control over my life and my success now.

good luck, seriously.

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[Anonymous]

thanks dude

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[Anonymous]

Miguel, get the hell out of there! Your family will do nothing but drag you down and keep you down. It’s going to take a lot of courage on your part but the benefits to you will be far better than staying where you are. You risk nothing, you gain nothing!

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[Anonymous]

I’m trying guys but I need a job first because disability is so paltry that i can afford nothing. i looked into section 8 and public housing but its so limited right now that there is a waiting list that goes years.

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[Author]

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