Why is ADD such a sensitive subject for some people?

[Anonymous]

Any thoughts on this? Sure, there are lots who make offhanded comments about ADD. But, I feel like there are too many people who want to avoid talking seriously about ADD. Discuss…

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[Anonymous]

I think ADD/ADHD like many other mental disorders still has a stigma attached.

Since being in university I was diagnosed with depression and now I have been diagnosed

with ADHD /inattentive sub-type. It has changed my perspective on what has happened in the

past.

I never have had a problem talking about depression (except in some work situations) and now

that the diagnosis has changed I suspect I will do the same thing.

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[munchkin]

People are being bombarded and overwhelmed with all the bazillions of new and constantly changing information on physical and mental health. It’s so bad, that I think people are actually pretty pissed off, and the idea of ADD just triggers the frustration they may have about their own ailments and the helpless feeling of trying to navigate through the health care system. People seriously have given up, and don’t think you should waste your time trying to go around in circles with doctors unless you’re having a heart attack or something. Plus there’s been some really nasty stuff in the media about prescribing medicine to kids.

People are also angry because the first time they ever heard of a medical condition was in a commercial made by the drug companies, selling a drug to treat said condition. It makes it seem like the conditions are just made up to sell a new kind of pill. People just automatically scoff when you try to explain ADD – they think you’ve been sold some snake oil, and now your trying to convince them.

It’s no wonder that ADD is difficult and awkward to deal with… we don’t really have an adequate cultural context to place it in. Adults learn by connecting new information into what they already know. ADD doesn’t connect well with what most people have grown up thinking about behavior, work ethic, free will, religeon, etc.

Neuroscience is in its infancy compared with other medical disciplines… It has taken very sophisticated technology to actually be able to see how the brain functions, and there’s still so much the researchers can only guess about.

Psychology has come up with one theory after another on personality and behavior, debunking their own theories, and coming up with new ones at a rapid rate. It takes societies generations to process new ideas and fit them into the framework of what is fact, theory, relevant or irrelevant to the greater good. Honestly, I think your average person is just barely catching up with Freud (hence the over use of the term “anal” haha)

I’m just grateful to be able to benefit from what little is known about adult ADD – but it’s a leap of faith – one that I know I can’t necessarily expect others to make. I am highly motivated by a desire to bring my quality of life up to an acceptable level. People who don’t have ADD or don’t know they have it, or have never heard of it, just don’t have the need or want to wade through the controversy and conflicting information to actually have an intelligent conversation about it.

I’m so glad for this site, because it gives us the luxury of being able to communicate about our lives with a small slice of people who are much more informed, interested and invested in figuring out ADD. I’m pretty selective in who I’ll discuss it with outside of this site – I find other peoples attitudes disheartening, but I understand why they are skeptical.

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[Anonymous]

Excellent points. Certainly, there are so many commercials promoting drugs, and so many concerns about what we eat, people are

likely uneasy about what they can believe. I see little point in explaining myself or my adhd to others. It is a murky area, seems like there are numerous variations, or each of us experiences their ADHD differently .. wouldn’t try to explain that.

I have told a few people, only to discover that they or a close relative also has it … library books on adhd are in such demand on our

little island that they could be best sellers .. what people dont understand they often scoff at and depreciate , most recently when AID s came into the news in the late 1980”s. It’s helpful reading about ADHD experiences here. I guess how we deal with “public” perception of ADHD is just another aspect of our personalised ADHD life. maybe or maybe not damed if i know.

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[Anonymous]

I find that people either make the comment that “everybody has that” or they rant about the medication people take for it. It’s like a gut reaction, throws up a brick wall, and doesn’t leave much opportunity to have an intelligent conversation about it. We want to be understood, that meds help one to have a more normal life, but people just don’t want to take the time to understand.

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[billd]

I agree with what’s been said – and would add:

Something I find with cars, among other things, but cars I know more than most other folks – people are afraid of what they don’t understand or can’t see or comprehend. ADD is not a boil on the arm, it’s not a cold a doctor can diagnose and you get over. I don’t get it, I don’t understand it – it might not even exist. (no, that’s not me speaking there!!!!!) Even at work, I have to take a bunch of crap like “he’s on meds now, we expect his work performance to be like anyone else now”. LOL – if only………. But seriously, if folks can’t understand it, they tend to fear it or shy away from it.

It’s a behavior changer. A “mental” thing, in the brain. My mother’s brother has schizophrenia – and it’s just not talked about, even among family. We’ll talk about AIDS and other things until we’re blue in the face – but when ADHD comes up, silence, or worse, snide remarks from non-believers. Might as well try to convince them there’s an Easter Bunny.

In short, no-dop Tea, Munchkin, Robert – have all hit really great points and it’s nearly impossible to add to their comments. (wow, Munchkin – nice!)

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[Anonymous]

Might as well wade in……this is going to seem cynical maybe…….but here goes……FOLKS DON’T REALLY CARE!!!

Sure, they have some surface concern in their voice (it’s polite), and make the obligatory conversational “oh really”, “gee that’s too bad”, or, “you know I think my cousin has ADD”….that kind of thing. Truth is…folks got their own shit to deal with on a day to day basis, they really do, and they don’t wanna listen to yours or mine. Fact……..

People don’t wanna hear other folks problems, not really. When folks say…. “hey how ya doin”….it’s a greeting, that’s all!! They don’t want you to stop and tell them your dog died, and your aunt Minnie’s back is bad, your ulcer is acting up and your boss is going to fire you cause you never get work on time and he’s so unfair, and it’s really not my fault I have ADD…..blah, blah blah….it was a greeting.

They never expected somebody to unload on them!! You do the above to people they will start to avoid you………turn the corner, run away, or tell you…. they gotta run, catch ya later!! They want…. ” hey, I’m good…. you?”, and a smile…..as a greeting and that’s it…PERIOD!!!!

Misfortune, illness, and tragic circumstances make people feel awkward, uncomfortable, they don’t wanna spend their time talking about that shit. Truth is and I’ll be straight here…..I don’t like it either. We all have our shit to bear. There are a few select folks I share with in my Face to Face life but not many……select 2 or 3 safe friends….that’s all. For those people, I have day, all week, all month……..and of course for you guys too.

I know, I know…..cynical………well go ahead label if you wish but………..look at all the examples above?????? I’m jus sayin’…..

Toofat

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[Geoduck]

I know what you mean!!!

I have a friend who posts this stupid link to a stupid video pretty much denying the existence of ADHD. So we have something that causes us to have a problem controlling focus. Geez, that’s small potatoes!What, she’d rather have her kid diagnosed with something worse??? I don’t get it. Frankly, as far as mental issues go, I’d rather have my ADHD than just about any other mental problem out there, including depression. I’ve had that. This is so much easier to medicate and handle, or not medicate and handle, either way.

I don’t get it, either.

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[Anonymous]

hey toofat, I hear you. I don’t really talk about this with anyone (other than my husband and my therapist), unless the subject comes up. I was commenting based on seeing family yesterday for the first time in almost a year. One of my nephews has ADHD but doesn’t like taking the meds. My mom had narcolepsy (and I think she self-diagnosed herself with ADHD). So I was just bringing it up (my narcolepsy diagnosis but same sort of responses) in order to add it to the family medical history. You know, if it resonated with them it could be helpful. It was just a conversation with my two brothers. Waste of time, really. My older brother is open to hearing about it, but my younger brother just poo-pooed it all, “everyone has that”. Um, not breathing at night while asleep? Having sleep paralysis? Not being able to hold a job for more than a couple of years? We really didn’t get very far with it. So I won’t bring it up again unless I’m asked.

All these comments are valid.

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[Anonymous]

Sure No-dop, I hear you, and that’s family!!! Take that conversation out past immediate family and well…………….jeez, forget it. Folks just don’t wanna hear it, not from anybody. Isn’t that one of the reasons we come here…….commonality, sharing, maybe even a little empathy from time to time.

I don’t believe it’s because it’s ADD either, I wouldn’t get lost in that pile. Sure, we are sensitive to that subject, we have a dog in that race…….. but really, I believe those behaviors extend beyond that too.

Soooo……..maybe….maybe this thread just demonstrates the value of good friend, a close friend, good persons with good hearts that care deeply for you.

Maybe, it’s a good time to take a moment, cherish that if you have it……keep it close, and remember to feed it well from time to time.

Toofat

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[Outoftune]

There are so many incurable diseases or mental disorders in this world many people suffer physically, mentally and emmotionally very much their whole lives with very little relief.

In the grand sceme of things having a neurophysiological condition that does not cause you any physical pain and the symptoms can be elimiated or at least greatly reduced with diet, supplements, coaching, applying techniques, educating those around you or medication and in most cases when the right combination of these factors are applied you can actually obtain funtionality and have a good quality of life overall should not be viewed as a bad thing.

If left undiagnosed and untreated and those around you are uneducated however people with ADD can suffer very much in life. What is the drawback of ‘labelling’ yourself and educating those around you so that you can funtion better and have a decent quality of life and be less predisposed to depression, low self esteem, anxiety, addiction issues, criminal involement, accidents, etc…?

So a label of having a disorder might limit your oppertunities in life you say? What about the oppertunities that would be limited by leaving your symptoms untreated (being percieved as careless, disrespectful, clumsy, don’t care enough to remember, not caring enought to listen/pay attention, not right for the job, not the kind of person you want to marry, a bad friend, withdrawn, etc…) and what about the amount of oppertunies that would abound should you get treament and education those around you? (Focused, on task, organized, multitasker, enthusiastic, involved, considerate, caring, thoughtful etc…) and has ADD. (Obviously persaverant, determined, couragous, person who is able to overcome obstacles).

Which person out of the above labels would you rather hire, marry, become friends with, etc..?

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[Geoduck]

Amen, Sherri27!!!

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[sdwa]

The main problem is that we can’t “prove” we have it, it can’t be measured with a blood test, it can’t been seen. The other problem is that it raises questions about free will – the extent to which we have control over our actions, our thoughts, our goals and choices. We look pretty “normal,” so people assume we’re all equally equipped to meet the challenges that come our way. If you don’t know you have ADHD, it’s even worse, because when you don’t know what you’re dealing with, you can’t find ways to work around it, and can waste a lot of time trying solutions to completely different problems. Personally, I think it’s better to keep your ADHD to yourself and only share the information with people who “get” you, and everyone else can go take a hike.

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[Anonymous]

I wanted to read all the responses, but this one of those days where my attention span is that of a ferret after a peppermint mocha cappuccino with two extra espresso shots, so, here are my thoughts off the cuff, I’ll read the rest of the responses later. Those who know me (and my kids, who were diagnosed with ADD as young children) KNOW that I walk to the beat of a different drummer and are fine with it. Now, on the professional front, colleagues have noted that I am “different”, but only a few have correctly figured that my “difference” is ADD. I am clinically trained in Internal Medicine, and self-trained in humor writing – my writing colleagues “get” me, my medical colleagues, not so much. ADD has been good for writing, not so for medical practice; right now, all I do is write. I’ll go back to practice when my kids are totally done with school, so my husband and I can go to a rural, underserved area and I can work in a little clinic by my lonesome. ADD is a sensitive topic for me because it is seen as a negative in terms of day to day interactions with fellow physicians.

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[Anonymous]

I hear you, DrWriterMom. I don’t know what it is about the formatting of this forum, but most of the threads are just too much for me to follow. It’s odd, because this is one of the few online sites where I seem to have that problem. Is it the length of the responses? I’m not sure. But I suspect it might be something as simple as the way the words are presented. Perhaps some changes in formatting, font, etc could make these threads a lot more ADD friendly.

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[Author]

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