Dr. Umesh Jain
is now exclusively responsible
for TotallyADD.com
and its content
Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey My Story Work in Progress

Viewing 3 posts - 31 through 33 (of 33 total)
  • Author
  • Patte Rosebank

    The stuff Larynxa says. Ditto. She’s smart.

    Thanks, Robb0!  As my brother says, I’m smarter than I look.  Sometimes.

    I have a “burning desire” right now, but it’s for an Astro Pop.

    (Here comes one of those totally off-topic posts…)

    Remember those cone-shaped, 3-colour Astro Pop lollipops?  They stopped making them in 2004, but Leaf Confections finally bought the rights, and has re-launched them—with the stick at the big end, just as we remember them.

    The previous company (Spangler) made a huge mistake by putting the stick at the small end, and claiming it was “so you’ll have more to lick, with the big end at the top”.


    Every kid knew that it was really because the small end turns into a needle-sharp point as you suck on it, and Spangler was afraid it would get sued because some kid had speared his tongue on it.

    Between moving the stick to the wrong end, and making the Astro Pops half the size, it’s no wonder sales tanked to the point where Spangler stopped making them!

    Now that I’m taking time to think things through before I buy something, I found the cheapest place in town to buy Astro Pops, and then I asked if I could get a bulk discount for buying a whole box of 24.  Yes, I could!

    So, I did what I always wanted to do when I was a kid:  I bought a WHOLE BOX of Astro Pops!  (Hey, I used smart grown-up tactics, to buy something stupid & fun & kid-like!)

    Even with the discount, each one cost $2.15.  Yipes!  When I was a kid, they were only 25 cents each.

    Still, most stores around here sell them for $3.99 each, so I saved $1.84 on each one (a total saving of $44.16), by thinking & planning before I bought.

    Now, if I can just continue thinking & planning, so I don’t devour them all at once…

    Fortunately, each one lasts for about 2 hours, as long as you don’t crunch it.

    So, they are representative of a “work in progress”.

    (See how I cleverly got us back to the topic of this thread?)


    My random venting on the topic of parenthood:

    It seriously bothers me that my son wants to join the military. Some people think that’s great, but I do not think it’s great for various reasons, including but not limited to: the risk of death, disfigurement, psychic wounding, loss of empathy, not trusting my country’s political agenda, not liking the way kids who grow up in poverty feel like military service is their only option, not liking the propaganda that surrounds the armed forces, not liking the idea of anyone being asked to kill anyone AKA other people’s children, etc.

    He’s fixated on this now. Maybe he’ll grow out of it by the time he’s old enough to sign up. One silver lining: while he says he wants to be an Army Ranger, he is still afraid to walk three blocks in our creepy neighborhood to go to the drugstore by himself (a journey I’ve made several times despite being accosted by some jerk every single time).  He is not a person who can be argued with or reasoned with when he gets an idea. In typical ADHD fashion, it’s the only thing he talks about or seems to think about. I hope to redirect and divert. Get him out of the house. Get him into a social environment. Oddly enough, we watched a documentary called “Restrepo,” in which one of the soldiers said his hippie mother deprived him of toy guns in his childhood and made every effort to get him involved in macrame or whatnot, and he rejected all of that. So it goes to show, ultimately they do what they want.

    But it most certainly is NOT about “patriotism.” It’s about fear of the future, wanting a place to fit in, wanting a way to distinguish himself from his brother who is skilled athletically, academically, and musically, and buying into propaganda that says if you’re in the military you’ll have camaraderie and a faithful spouse. Short of sending him to some kind of Quaker deprogramming center, I really don’t know what to do.

    Our house is a disaster. I feel bad about it but also like I can’t fix it, because it’s too HUGE of a problem.  Like I’m drowning in it. My other son has more family meals with his friends than with us. If my kids are in the same room together, they will fight.

    We don’t care what clothes they wear. They wear the uniform of all other teenage boys around here: jeans, sneakers, t-shirts. No one cares.  Dressing up would be a sports jacket on top of a t-shirt, with the same jeans and t-shirt. It’s funny, because I remember as a kid I wore one outfit all day, while other girls had their “school clothes” and their “play clothes.” I mostly wore jeans and t-shirts even then. And I still do.

    Battles I would pick, if I needed to, which I don’t, would have to do with things like dangerous or illegal behavior, physical or verbal attacks, being mean, being insensitive. Really nothing about cleanliness or organization or being presentable. Also, because I swear like a sailor and have no particular familiarity with the works or requirements of Emily Post…I guess it’s a good thing I have sons, as no one will expect either of them to act like a lady. I never have. I wouldn’t even know where to start. You can dress me up, if you must, but you certainly can’t take me out. Which is fine, because I don’t really want to go.

    It does bother me that we have so few role models in our society for what it means, or should mean, to “be a man” or to “be a woman.” Men get stuck with all this weird domination & control stuff, and women get stuck on the periphery as not quite legitimate human beings. Times have changed significantly since my youth with regard to roles for women and public treatment of women, but not enough that a woman is considered to be equally important, valid, or interesting. Witness popular culture: there are no good female TV or movie roles. Women are still viewed as backdrop, accessories, props, facilitators of whatever the male agenda is. Or they are painted and twirled up, along the “steel magnolias” line that says we’re all supposed to care so much about our hairstyles, high heels, manicures, men, and needlepoint, all of which I find profoundly boring. Show me a movie with a real female lead, someone who isn’t a stereotype. I don’t think there are any. Except I did just see a spy movie that makes no sense whatsoever, but features a female lead who is a former Marine. I thought that was funny – is that what we need? Really? To learn hand-to-hand combat, and then we’ll be equal? I think not.


    Wow, enlightened stuff! I was a change of life baby, parents were 51 and 42; God rest there souls! Back then i was just a square peg in a round hole! Bless their hearts they barely had the energy for a “normal” baby, much less me! I remember them constantly trying to keep me entertained with workbooks (and how fun is that?) and TV. But it was stuff to do and kept me occupied, though I felt more like a show dog (“Listen to my 4 year old spell!) But they did the best they could, they taught with guilt and conseravtive religeon…it wasn’t til I was 17 and came home to my mother crying from the Phil Donahue show that she realized why i became so self-loathing, but i found my own feet and they began to understand at some point while I was in grad school working 3 jobs and raising 3 sons. In fact, it was probably the Adhd that gave me the energy and the ability to focus on so many things at once!

    This is a great site, I could go on for days! So with my own kids there was very little guilt, mostly choices and consequences that steered them in the right direction…but believe me, i was never the most focused parent in the world! But you grow and you learn and hopefully forgive youself! There ARE NO perfect people, but so far I’ve read from some pretty fantastic people here!

Viewing 3 posts - 31 through 33 (of 33 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.