Write, Write, Write more, Read, Send Post? Delete? Make up your mind

[Anonymous]

So for a week now i’ve been reading the posts and responses on the forum. I’ve made a couple of posts since I found out that I had ADHD. There are so many posts here, there is so much to read, and so much that I have wanted to comment on. Many times i’ve found myself (on this forum and others) typing out a long over explained post or response only to read it back and deleting it. I feel like no matter how I say whatever it is the message is, no matter how simple or complicated I make it, the message isnt conveyed the way I want. I feel like it doesnt reflect the true nature of my feelings as I type. I can never make my mind up and it seems for ever 10 times I write I only hit the “send post” button once. Anyone else so indecisive about what they say or ask? I cant believe it but I may actually post this……(if you could only see me sitting here thinking about pressing send or hitting the backspace button.)

I hit the send button, a small victory for me today!

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[nellie]

I would say I’ve felt exactly the same way you do. There are several points I feel compelled to make.

I think in terms of writing in general it helps to clarify what it is you want to say before<em/> you write it down- boil it down to a simple principle. Then make your point based on that principle

In terms of ADD, I believe because of the way our minds often formulate several thoughts at once – or so it seems, we may have a harder time in writing it down in a way that is later clear. The impulsive urge to act is hard to stop long enough to think things through.

By the time we are writing our mind has already thought lots of different thoughts.

To be honest, I’ve often written out a long post then deleted most of it because it didn’t stick to the original point or just not sent it at all.

So you are not alone in this Kylep.

Oh and one last thought just popped into my mind as I was about to hit send ……

Perhaps insecurity about saying what’s on your mind might come into play as well. In face-to-face communication I find it hard to sometimes articulate what i want to communicate because I can’t stop my brain long enough to capture the thought and translate it into speech. As a result I have often said something others thought was ridiculous or argued against logically. I then had no rationale to back up what I was saying, so gave in to whatever the other person was saying or wanted. Over the years I think that kind of plays with your confidence. Sometimes when I write this also takes hold. I figure if I put something down in writing, my perhaps “dumb idea” will be there for all to see for cyber eternity.

Decision making for someone with add can also be difficult , a seemingly simple question when you really analyze the components may seem unrealistically huge before you step back and take a look from a distance. So whatever reason(s) you think you’re post is not well enough crafted may just be simple but figuring them out may not be. Too many thoughts running interference with the ones you should be analyzing to decide if the post is “ready” yet. As may be evidenced by the paragraph I just wrote.

But here’s hoping it’s clear enough to warrant hitting send…..

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[nellie]

And woops…should have re- checked the markup before hitting send. Now everything above is in italics Case in point about my impulsiveness trait I guess!

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[Anonymous]

I’ve been trying to reply now for two hours, and 6 attempts at writting it and a ton of backspaces. The only way i’ll ever be able to send this is to just say thank you. (this is seriously crazy how hard it is to just be satisfied with this) at least now I know why. Ok i’m worried that this sounds wrong. I thnk you understand what i’m trying to say or not say. *sighs

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[nellie]

Well congratulate yourself for having got it done!

Just doing things over and over makes it easier – so keep posting a few sentences at a time.

What’s the worst thing that can happen? And would it really matter?

More likely, you’ll get into an interesting “conversation!”

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[Anonymous]

Kylep, Right on…… Topic awesome Insightfull follow up Nellie,

Kylep…… Yes I have composed “letters” here as well. I then proof read them 30 times add/delete and then often delete them entirely as I frequently feel in my head my typed words don’t really express my true thoughts and feelings. This leaves me frustrated to the point I sometimes just leave the topic and offer no reply. As with Nellie I offer you congrats great job Kylep Oh and by the way if what you type here makes “you” feel better IT IS ALL GOOD . We here are not the “be all that ends all”… If you need a couple of tries to get it right for “you”! so be it. Some of us probably need to learn some restraint anyway. LOL

Nellie… “Decision making” is a huge issue for me. Unfortunately some of us were not properly taught/trained how to critically think. Maybe because of economics, lack of knowledge and education about ADHD we were not “treated” lets say hollistically as described by the videos here on the TotallyADD website. I am a 48 year old male that grew up in a farely afluent and educated suburb of NJ. But because I never new I had ADHD and was just kinda pushed through a school interested in graduate numbers or maybe ADD was not understood the way it is now by more of our society as a whole I succumbed to being swallowed up and have a Big hole to climb out of. If not for persons like you both and this site I might not have a rope that will allow for the escape to freedom others without ADHD enjoy.

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[nellie]

njadd

Well I don’t think schools in general focus too much on critical thinking so the rest of the population is often just as lacking in this skill.

And while I agree this site has been fun and it’s helpful to get to know others with the same kinds of challenges, lets not forget that

there a just as many non add people who aren’t happy or have not lived up to their own or other’s expectations.

I think we are lucky to discover this facet of our mental functioning and can now find ways to work around the quirks and make use of our creativity and other positive traits. There are really worse things we could be faced with. I think we have to think positively & re-brand ourselves. If Michelangelo had a desk, I’m sure it was covered with stuff and he couldn’t find his paint brushes half the time Probably no wonder it took him so long to paint the ceiling! (I’m sue there’s an art history buff out there who will tell me I’m all wrong about this but that’s my theory and what the heck – I’m going with the send button now…)

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[nellie]

Hey I just discovered something:

WE CAN EDIT OUR POSTS!! Can’t believe I never noticed the Edit link right next to the “posted x minutes ago” at the end of the message.

So write all you want – you can always go back and fix it.

But not sure maybe there’s a time limit – just noticed the older posts don’t have an edit link.

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[Anonymous]

Congradulations all! I see we are all members of a unique writers club! I found that write,delete rewrite, rewrite again etc. to be the sighn of a perfectionest lucky for us all this electronic medium we use to communicate on i.e the computer allows us to do this without “taking prisoners” i.e. we donot have a pile of paper behind us when we are done! It has been my experience that to overcome our unique malady takes persistance and patience but believe it or not we can do it look at all the postings we have.!

K

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[Anonymous]

K,

Funny, thought I just had pour (I mean poor) typing skills… LOL ! ……… Besides that, I find that I drift off topic and have to <delete> often to get back on track or I rant incisively as to lose the point I was trying to initially convey…. So yehI guess I like to be called a perfectionist………

Have an awesome day!

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[Anonymous]

I was going to comment on how I was getting better at the whole writing thing and posting until I realize that its taken me way to long just to convey this part.

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[Anonymous]

Kylep………. I have been staring at this post for two weeks waitng for your insightful thoughts Please keyboard I am stimulated now that you have returned! Please share as I do not critique. I just like to see what other insightful like people are thinking……..

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[Monika]

@kylep Something more to think about. And you can write on the forums anytime you want without the need or fear of “getting it perfect” that freezes you up.

The written word can be tricky. The best example is a simple sentence. “Let’s eat, Grandma!” without the pause of the comma, we could fear for the safety of Grandma and express concern over the dietary habits of her offspring’s offspring, when you read “Let’s eat Grandma!”

I read somewhere that body language and spoken words convey the meaning of the message most clearly (probably why I like Rick’s Rants so much), while spoken words without body language delivers less of the meaning and the written word (especially when interpreted incorrectly) conveys the least.

So, in summary, write whatever you wish. One thing you can rest for sure about being in the ADD forum, if we have questions, like what you wrote or didn’t like it….you’ll hear about it. (Grin).

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[Anonymous]

This is my first post as a new member, and I thought this topic fits exactly how I was feeling about posting something. Although it may seem a bit ironic to have a structured forum for a group of ADDers, but that is the whole point. So I keep reminding myself that everyone here totally understands how others are feeling and we understand long posts that go on and on and repeat themselves and rant and rave, or go off on a tangent….the whole point is, for us to know, we are not alone!

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

What I don’t understand is why, when I want to post a quick comment, it almost always turns into a long essay?

I’m going to stop now.

…

This feels weird.

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[Author]

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