Hi there Baj8881,
I hear your frustration and know first hand how self deprecating it can be. It is miserable at times. No matter how much you want to be there, well within your capable and beautiful mind… it just doesn’t. It can drive the sanest person mad. Talk about the ’emotional roller coaster’ and that alone, requires a lot of resilience to come off of, and who knows when and if the ride will ever stop.
Have you tried coaching, or connecting with professionals in this arena to try and find ways to help? That may be a good place to start. It is difficult to go it alone, especially at first I would imagine (I am new to all of this too, so I am in the same boat with you). Maybe that would help, along with trying to find the right medication. Keep trying, whatever you do – remember you are so worth the effort.
Amy
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